Gentle parenting

[Same1977]

I know I will get a lot of stick for this ,but am I wrong to believe that often what is seen is not gentle parenting but absence of one ?
Kids are kids and always have been and no I don't imply one should physically reprimand their children ,but how comes everywhere you go there are tantrums?
My mother works as a teacher in nursery and she says that biting and physical aggression (kids towards each other ) has gotten a lot worse in last 30 or so years.
In your opinion what has changed?And what needs to change?No parenting style is perfect after all

Every single generation believes that "kids today" are much more badly behaved than in the past. Twas ever thus.

“Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room, they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers. Children are now tyrants.”

Well, clearly you don't know what gentle parenting actually is. There is a lady called SJ Strum who does videos about it on YouTube and she explains what it involves.

@MolliciousIntent

Every single generation believes that "kids today" are much more badly behaved than in the past. Twas ever thus.

Very true!The biting however and public tantrums are worse.Rarely saw any when I was a young adult 20 years ago.Now it's everywhere

I very rarely see children having tantrums when I’m out, I can’t even remember actually seeing one. I work with 3-7 year olds at rugby tots, yet to have a single tantrum, bite, fallout etc.

@Simonjt

I very rarely see children having tantrums when I’m out, I can’t even remember actually seeing one. I work with 3-7 year olds at rugby tots, yet to have a single tantrum, bite, fallout etc.

Agree with this. I can't remember the last time I saw a child biting or hitting in public.

Gentle parenting is the management of childrens behaviour using non violent/degrading methods. In order for it to work children need a good routine, boundaries and consistency. There has to be consequences and ability to manage behaviour effectively through communication and actions. My ds is autistic and gentle parenting works well for him, we adapt our life to meet his needs but within that there are still rules and expectations. He does at times meltdown due to his struggle to regulate but on the whole gentle parenting helps him and us manage his emotions/understanding pretty well. It is significantly harder to gentle parent than shouting/smacking/punishing as it requires a lot of patience and a ability to let go of my needs and my desire to be in control .

I n my experience as a child growing up in the 80's in a lower working class town and as an adult working with vulnerable families, authoritarian parenting style was the norm and children were seen as parents property with expectations of behaviour that created fear driven behaviour from children. Over the years this style has become less socially acceptable and laws have been enforced to protect children, some parents have not necessarily developed the skills or the understanding to use different methods so may resort to permissive or neglectful parenting where children are ignored or not held to account for behaviour and therefore do not learn to 'behave' that coupled with the fact that most of us have to work and are juggling many stresses and responsibilities finding it a struggle to manage everything it can at times be easier to let a child off on behaviours for an easy life.

But permissive and neglectful parenting are not gentle parenting which when executed properly can be very effective.

Depends really. The parents I knew that banged on about gentle parenting were the ones that had the most shrill, shouty, obnoxious, poorly behaved children. But maybe whatever they were doing was an incorrect interpretation?

@MolliciousIntent

Every single generation believes that "kids today" are much more badly behaved than in the past. Twas ever thus.

Absolutely this. Since the dawn of time

Very true!The biting however and public tantrums are worse.Rarely saw any when I was a young adult 20 years ago.Now it's everywhere

Maybe you just didn't notice it when you were a young adult?

I haven't noticed any increase or decrease... kids are as they've ever been.