Will my son progress more in nursery

[boymum59]

I only work 2 days a week and my son is with his mil for those 2 days. My friends son who is the same age goes nursery three times a week and he is so much more advanced. Is this due to nursery? I'm not complaining or comparing just wondering. My son is due to start nursery in a couple months so wondering if I will see a big advance in development

It depends on what you and your MiL do with your son. I had each of my GC for one day a week before they started school and DS openly said that they got more out of a day with me than a day in nursery because I gave them my full attention and planned activities. DS didn’t go to nursery till he was 3 and a half but I did lots with him at home and he used to go to friends for play dates. How much development you will see in your son also depends on the quality of the nursery.

How old is your son and what differences do you see?

What are the things you have noticed what age are the children?

Children all advance at different rates. You wouldn’t know when they did certain things first before too long though.

Even in a nursery setting you'll see a massive range of different levels of development. It's lovely for their socialisation though. It's not all about being 'advanced'. They all have their strengths. Make the time you spend with him as meaningful as you can.

If you MIL is engaging with him, taking him out places, singing and talking and reading books... then no it probably won't make any difference.

If she's sticking him in a baby pen while she does something else. Or putting the TV on all day, then he probably will learn more at nursery.

But kids don't need to go to nursery to develop well. My daughter did about 7 months of preschool in total, with lockdowns etc, and did 2 mornings a week. She's above average in her year R class so it didn't do her any harm.

Children all develop differently for various reasons.

But I do find nursery can really help bring them along, the peer interaction and input of trainer professionals can really help. They often do activities that children won't be exposed to at home and the new learning environment can be really beneficial (in a good nursery with dedicated staff).

My son had a speech delay and nursery helped his development massively in that respect. They can also pick up issues you may not have noticed at home.

What does mil do with him? Do they go to toddler classes, do messy play, the park, farm trips, baking, meet up with other children etc. Or is he always at home with her, TV and toys. What do you with him on your days off? All that will have an impact on his development too and how much he's being exposed to new experiences.

As PP have said, it totally depends on what they and you spend your time doing.

Personally I think nursery has helped with DD's development, not so much speech as we do plenty of that kind of thing, but more confidence to try new things and get involved with stuff. I noticed during the second lockdown that she was becoming more reticent to do things like try new play equipment, etc. but when she went back to nursery again, being around all her peers trying stuff helped her gain confidence again. I don't think she would be behind at all if she didn't go, but I do think it can be really beneficial for some children to go. Children are individuals, so some will thrive there and others might not get as much of it.

Is your child actually 'behind' though? Or is his development age appropriate? There are always quite large variances in toddlers and all on the spectrum of normal.

I think you will. I did lots of things with mine, but being with other children and adults does seem to bring them on. Helps them be more independent too.

My son is exposed to loads more activities at nursery and often seeing other children do things will encourage him to try.