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Original poster

3 year old obsessed with boobs

11 replies

pancakes222 · 15/04/2022 09:04

My DS is obsessed with my boobs. I haven't breastfed him since he was around 20 months and he's now nearly 3 but he still grabs my top pulls it down and tries to shove his hands down my top shouting that he wants mummy's Boobies. I tell him no constantly and remove his hand and he will scream and pull away from me and shove his hand down my top with all his strength until we are nearly fighting against each other to try and stop him. With my DD we have always had an open relationship with nudity and I have been able to have baths together etc but with DS I'm constantly having to cover up, make sure I'm wearing high tops, telling him to move away from me and it creates so many tantrums and screaming when he can't touch me. I can't bear it and just can't understand why he won't stop after so long. His little hands touching me make me cringe and I hate feeling like that towards him. Help!

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 15/04/2022 18:11

He's doing it for comfort, so don't "reject" him by telling him no, redirect him into a cuddle and give him lots of love and affection each time. Hopefully he'll start feeling more secure and the boob fixation will wane.

Original poster
pancakes222 · 16/04/2022 10:25

I really don't want to take any comfort away from him and we do have lots of cuddles but it's just when he has in his mind he wants to touch boob, even when I offer cuddles he's just so forceful about it. I have tried to stay patient for the last year since stopping breastfeeding thinking the same that it must be a comfort blanket but the fact hes still trying to grab me this long after stopping feeding is really hard

OP posts:
Thestagshead · 16/04/2022 10:27

Are you breastfeeding your daughter?

eurochick · 16/04/2022 10:33

I wasn't able to breastfeed my daughter but when she was little she often touched my boobs. I think it's an inbuilt comfort thing. It stopped when she was around 4 or so I think.

Cheesewiz · 16/04/2022 10:55

Both my children went through this phase and I didn't bf past 6 months, I think young children like them because they are all soft and squishy

Original poster
pancakes222 · 16/04/2022 11:15

@Thestagshead no not feeding her, she's 6 now.

I know what you mean about them being nice and squishy and I didn't mind if it was just resting against them or having a naked cuddle for some skin to skin contact, I think the problem with my DS is that he's so aggressive with it and if I take his hand away and try and just snuggle him instead he will just be really forceful and start screaming if he can't touch them. I wish the cuddles were enough. It just gets me really touched out

OP posts:
Toloveandtowork · 16/04/2022 11:20

Don't fall into the trap of believing the poor child needs it for comfort. Like adults, children can't always have what they want and this is a great teaching moment.
You have needs too and if you keep firm boundaries in place he'll get the message.

Smartiepants79 · 16/04/2022 11:22

You have a right not to be constantly touched in a way that makes you distressed, even if it’s your child.
I think you’ll just have to keep being firm and consistent. Sticking his hands down other peoples tops is not ok and he needs to know that.
Keep saying no. If he persists then what happens if you stand up and remove your self from his reach?
You can offer cuddles but stick firm on the no boobs.

GiltEdges · 16/04/2022 11:23

DS(3) does the same thing with my stomach. He just likes to have a hand on it for comfort I think, but it drives me crackers and he can be really persistent about it if I say no. I’ve taken to either wearing dresses so he can’t get to it, or standing up and moving away whenever he tries. Hoping the message will get through eventually!

Hugasauras · 16/04/2022 11:28

At 3, it's definitely time for a 'We don't touch other people's bodies when they dont want us to' talk. I had to do same with my DD as she has a thing for touching my bare stomach, totally a comfort thing but she would just hoik up my top randomly and cuddle against it. Now she will ask and generally accepts it when I say I don't want her to at that moment or offer a normal cuddle instead.

(And I found wearing a onesie in the evenings helped as she couldn't get to my stomach!)

roarfeckingroarr · 16/04/2022 12:15

Mine is a bit like this at 18 months. I still feed him and hr can't just feed, he has to touch the other nipple. I hate it, almost enough to stop breast feeding despite wanting to continue until he's 2.

If you find a way to get him to stop please report back !!

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