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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Crap sleeper, 7yo.

17 replies

Reluctantadult · 14/04/2022 21:26

Parents of primary children who are rubbish sleepers. I'm not really looking for advice as I don't think there's any left to give. But could do with some solidarity... I have a 7yo dd who is very wakeful at night. She has a weighted blanket, bed tent, red night light, white noise, but basically the only thing that keeps her sleep on the straight and narrow is being at school. It's currently Easter hols so everything's gone to pot. Up until 11pm, up for several hours in the middle of the night, calling me more frequently than every 10 minutes. She's been saying she feels funny every time she goes to bed and asking for Calpol, but I think I've just worked out she's anxious, probably not helped by me laying it on pretty thick, sometimes getting cross with her, threatening that we won't go out for the day, etc. I will have a word with myself but jeez why can't she just sleep. Sleep is lovely.

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Original poster

Reluctantadult · 14/04/2022 21:28

We've tried having her in with us /me before but she often still doesn't sleep. Plus we don't have a spare room and it's hard for an adult to sleep in her cabin bed! I've also got this fear that if she shares with me I'll never get her out again. However, I've just put her in my bed tonight to see.

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KronkeyCroc · 14/04/2022 21:33

Much solidarity. 6 and 3 year old that wake almost every night. Usually more than once. Eldest was in my bed last night and youngest in spare bed with DH. I feel like we’ve tried everything to no avail. I’m. So. Tired. I just can’t get my head around why they won’t sleep. It’s amazing. I wish I had the magic solution for you.

NrlySp · 14/04/2022 21:36

Have you checked for food intolerances? Eg my cousin cherry tomatoes made him hyper.
Maybe she needs a very strict bedtime routine - that needs to be continue even during holidays. And during the holidays included activities that are physically and mentalste tiring eg swimming/gym/trampoline/frisbee in the park. A jigsaw/writing a story/ painting etc.

I would be verbally setting expectations - during the day, talking about what will happen at bedtime eg warm milky drink, bath, story. She could choose and set out PJs before bath time, choose a story, set the lights etc.

If that isn’t working I would seek help from the sleep clinic. It may also be worth speaking to a pharmacist/herbalist and finding out what natural sleep aids a 7 year old can take.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

7 year olds Families General parenting

Original poster

Reluctantadult · 14/04/2022 21:36

Hi @KronkeyCroc welcome to the amazing exclusive club, coffee is on tap...

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Debroglie · 14/04/2022 21:37

Sympathies.

Neither of mine appreciated sleep until they were around 8yo.

They did just get better at sleeping on their own though if that’s any comfort.

I know how hard it is though- broken sleep really does affect everything you do.

Sadly I haven’t ever really recovered myself and now only really sleep through if I’m medicated. That may be coincidental timing of menopause rather than habit formed from years of nighttime parenting.

Original poster

Reluctantadult · 14/04/2022 21:41

@NrlySp no not checked food intolerances, but would expect that to be all the time and she's so much better when she's at school.

Activities, yesterday she was at forest school building dens 9-12, out for lunch and then at grandparents. Today we've been out all day 11-5 and walked the dog on top of that. We did colouring and chatted then put her to bed and read her a chapter book. It's not that.

I've worked with a private sleep consultant for her age 5, she's now 7. And have had melatonin tablets from the doctor before, which helped with going to sleep but she's then be awake 2hrs during the night.

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Original poster

Reluctantadult · 14/04/2022 21:54

@Debroglie fingers crossed for a miracle when she turns 8! Wish melatonin was over the counter in this country...

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SkankingWombat · 14/04/2022 21:56

My 7yo is fine once asleep, but struggles to get to that point (always has and both me and my DM are/were the same, so I know there is no complete cure, sadly). To get her off at a late-but-not-outrageously-so time, I've found she needs lots of exercise each day, a slightly later bedtime (counterintuitive, but works) of 8 in bed to read and 8.30 lights out (moved 30mins later in the hols), and no TV for a couple of hours before lights out. She now is asleep by 9.30 most nights, which is a huge improvement on the 11/11.30pm times we had before. The exercise needed is something like a 2hr fun family swim or park visit, trampolining, or a 5 mile walk.

Silverbirch2 · 14/04/2022 22:02

My dd just doesnt need that much sleep. At about 7 I explained she couldn't wake everyone because she was awake. We have a rule that she listens to mp3 player/ reads in bed until 6:30. If middle of night she can do this for 30 mins then lights off and try to sleep. If cant sleep lie and relax (she was stressing she couldnt sleep!)
So basically I didnt fix her sleep issue but rest of us sleep! I would be teaching her at 7 not to be shouting you each night- that's just a habit to break for your sanity!

Rewritethestars1 · 14/04/2022 22:05

Is there a chance she is neurodiverse. Girls often present very subtlety and different to the expected way. They fall through the net due to this.
If she is out of routine this could be the cause and why its worse in the hols. It can be helped by meeting her unmet needs and addressing the change in routine with social stories etc
Some ND children still suffer sleep issues despite efforts but its more manageable if you know what your dealing with.

ShootingStar94 · 14/04/2022 22:12

[quote Reluctantadult]@NrlySp no not checked food intolerances, but would expect that to be all the time and she's so much better when she's at school.

Honestly. There's not much advice left. Where I am at with this is she needs to learn to read better so she can pick up a book and stop disturbing me! If she's awake, so be it, but she doesn't need to call me every 6 minutes and wake the rest of the house.[/quote]
Could the melatonin dose be too high? My friend saw a sleep consultant and was told that it is possible to 'overdose' melatonin which although not dangerous, can apparently cause you to snap awake a couple of hours after going to sleep and stay awake for a long time. He lowered his dose and slept much better

RainingYetAgain · 14/04/2022 22:24

I feel for you. DS2 was terrible sleeper, and I am sure did not spend the entire night in his own bed until he was 9. I gave him half the recommended dose of Phenergan when he was about 4 and he slept all day at nursery and was no better the following night.
He still struggles with sleep now he is an adult, but he uses breathing techniques/meditation.

Original poster

Reluctantadult · 15/04/2022 06:59

@ShootingStar94 she's not on any melatonin any more and was only in a low dose. But I'm thinking to speak to the doctor about trying it again. However I'm thinking the root cause of everything is psychological in nature, based on the things that helped her learn to sleep aged 4. Also indicated by her sleeping much better when she's in the school routine.

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Original poster

Reluctantadult · 15/04/2022 06:59

That's interesting to know though!

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Original poster

Reluctantadult · 15/04/2022 07:02

Thanks @RainingYetAgain, I think when Dd's an adult she'll still be like this, I think it's just her. But as an adult she'll read a book or watch some TV. My mum wakes up at 3am e regularly and puts QVC shopping channel on until she drops back off! My sister is similar and has actually even been on a sleep course, and finds she's much better when she doesn't worry about it. I think unfortunately Dd is worrying about it.

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Silverbirch2 · 15/04/2022 08:50

@reluctantadult my mum is exactly the same and so is my brother and now my daughter definitely runs in family. I sleep like a log- thanks dad!
Anyway I would really start working on what she does when she wakes/ cant sleep. My dd has a smart watch so I look at her sleep too- interesting to see patterns throughout night

Original poster

Reluctantadult · 15/04/2022 09:00

@Silverbirch2

My dd just doesnt need that much sleep. At about 7 I explained she couldn't wake everyone because she was awake. We have a rule that she listens to mp3 player/ reads in bed until 6:30. If middle of night she can do this for 30 mins then lights off and try to sleep. If cant sleep lie and relax (she was stressing she couldnt sleep!) So basically I didnt fix her sleep issue but rest of us sleep! I would be teaching her at 7 not to be shouting you each night- that's just a habit to break for your sanity!

This is what I think we need to do, just struggling to make it happen! She says can you check me in ten minutes? She doesn't even last ten minutes before she's calling me again. I think I'm going to set up some audio books on her tablet and get her some earphones.

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