Co sleeping worries

[cttd1]

My little boy is 9 months. He slept from 8pm until 5am in his next to me until he was 5 months old. Since then he will not sleep anywhere except our bed (he will sleep 12 hours!) which we don't mind as we get more sleep that way and also he's our first baby so enjoying every minute of it.

He has been able to roll for months now he's a very sturdy baby, very capable and strong. However, he's been turning onto his tummy whilst in our bed (only when we're in the the living room and he has enough space to do so) is this safe? He's on the mattress, he's never fully face down, his face is to the side but I have anxiety to the point where I just sit next to him pretty much until I want to go to bed! Any advice appreciated :)

[quote cttd1]@MolliciousIntent when he's on his side his face isn't sunken into the mattress so I think it's quite firm yes but not as firm as a cot mattress. We've also moved mattress on the floor!😅

I've tried everything, he cannot self soothe at all. And when I say everything I mean everything except cry it out method which I will not do. He sleeps in his cot for 4 hours then wakes up screaming and nothing I do will settle him at all I've really persisted with it. I have bad anxiety so this is just a relief for me without the stress and to be able to sleep.

Also I don't mind co sleeping as I said, we're an extremely close family and enjoying every moment so don't mind co sleeping.

Just out of curiosity when would everyone say it's actually safe to co sleep? [/quote]
@cttd1 your baby sounds the EXACT same as mine!!
He will go down for 3-4hrs in cot then he's in with me. My DS was one 2 weeks ago and he's been like this since around 8 months.
He also has recently taken to sleeping on tummy with head to side - he's just comfortable like this i suppose. I've had to put a safetots bed guard on the bed as he wakes up crawling about too.
My DH sleeps in spare room as DS takes up too much room so it's just the 2 of us in a king size... it's GREAT 🤣
And tbf I love cuddling him. He sleeps really well once in with me.
I also won't try the cry it out, don't believe in it

What started out as a perfectly sensible campaign to improve knowledge generally about risk factors associated with sleep/SIDS has ended up going a bit bonkers.

I remember DS was sent to hospital by the GP when he was about 8 months and I was told to check on him during the night and when I explained he slept with me so I'd keep a close eye on him the nurse said "don't tell me that!" as if I'd confessed to drugging him with whisky or leaving him to sleep in a shed in the garden!

My concern is that people are so cowed by the "CLEAR COT ONLY" thing that if you have a baby who simply will not sleep in a clear cot (as neither of mine would) people feel like they don't have any options which could well result in risky Co-sleeping or accidental Co-sleeping happening. I would have had to stay awake 24 hours a day if I hadn't co-slept. I mean, genuinely what are people supposed to do!!

It's some time since I read up on this (DD is 15), but I understand in countries like Japan where everyone cosleeps SIDS is unheard of.

Follow the advice and do it safely. I did and loved every cuddle. I had a bed guard at one stage then just stuck the mattress on the floor for a while. It's the most fabulous experience. Enjoy it

The Japan stuff is misleading. Many infant deaths in Japan are not coded as SIDS, whereas they are elsewhere in the world.
Taylor: international comparison of sudden unexpected deaths in infancy using a newly proposed set of cause of death codes (2015) investigated this.

[quote HalloHello]@Thursday37 why should you not use a sleeping bag while cosleeping? Not being rude just curious as have never read that before.[/quote]
It’s really easy for them to overheat as the body heat from the adult/s is a lot. My MW and HV were very pro safe co-sleep but were really against sleeping bags or blankets.
I used them once DD was sleeping on her own, but when we co-slept she didn’t have bedding and neither did I.

This guidance from unicef is useful I think and highlights the downsides of the "no co-sleeping ever" message. See this paragraph:

"The messages can seem complex, controversial and at odds with the reality of parents’ lives. You may also fear getting it wrong, as this could result in the loss of a baby’s life and/or serious consequences for your career. It can, therefore, feel safest to either simply tell all parents to never co- sleep or just to say nothing at all.

Unfortunately, this approach is not safe."

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf