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Parenting

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Original poster

Am I A Bad Mum??

14 replies

Jacqui22 · 09/01/2008 05:39

Hi All, i need some advice. I have a 3 month old daughter and i absolutley adore her but i'm going slightly crazy from being a home mum. So i have been contemplating doing a part time uni course which requires me to be away from her about 8 hours a week, i can leave her with her father or grandparents but i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing..should i wait until she is a bit older or do i go for it.....any advice would help

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beansprout · 09/01/2008 05:42

Go for it! It would in NO WAY make you a bad mum. Many women (including myself) find being at home 24x7 a tall order, esp at this stage when you are not likely to be getting much time to yourself as it is. She has 2 parents and a bit of time with her dad will be good for everyone.

Hope it all works out - what do you want to study?

OverRated · 09/01/2008 05:43

Go for it, if you think you can manage it and it'll make you happy. 8hrs isn't all that long, really.

Original poster

Jacqui22 · 09/01/2008 05:46

I'm hoping to go into real estate.....just not sure if i can be away from her that long....it's hard being away from her for 1 hr sometimes

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beansprout · 09/01/2008 05:49

It can be very hard, esp in early days. Why not try a couple of hours here and there and see how you feel?
I found that being at work was quite different to just being away from ds for the sake of it. But don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with at this stage. It may start to feel different at some point and you will know when you are ready.

It's ok to want to be with your baby and to want to do something else. Very normal!! Does not make you a bad mum!!

sandcastles · 09/01/2008 05:49

You'll even more after a small break.

I am a full time mum & love it, but it isn;t for everyone. If a break away helps your relationship then it is not a bad thing & you are not a bad mum!

Good Luck.

sandcastles · 09/01/2008 05:55

You'll enjoy your time together even more after a small break.

If you don't think you can start with a huge amount of time away form her, start small. maybe an hour at the shops/hairdresser & see how you go before you get commited to anything.

genlay · 09/01/2008 06:13

I went back to uni part time when Ds was 4 months old. It doesn't mean you love them any less and if you feel good you will be a better mum.

You need to be very organised with your study routine but it can be worth it. Besides, 8 hours a week is not a long time to be away from her especially if she will be spending time with her daddy go for it!

Would also like to know what you will be studying

Buda · 09/01/2008 06:18

Go for it. It won't make you a bad mum - on that contrary it will make you happier and therefore your DD will be happier.

I am a SAHM (can't really work here) and I am fine with it but when DS was a baby I had a daytime babysitter twice a week for a few hours so I could have some time to myself.

cory · 09/01/2008 09:51

I did this- went back to work/research for one day when my dd was 3 months old. At first her Dad looked after her, then (from 1 yrs old) a childminder. It was absolutely the right thing for us to do. I got over my first fears very quickly and she was still as much my girl as she'd been before- but she also had a chance for time as Daddy's girl. Not to mention the long term benefits of having a partner who knows from experience what SAHMs do all day . By the time she was 1 yo I felt confident enough to let her go to a childminder once a week and eventually we stepped up to two days a week.

zebedee1 · 09/01/2008 09:57

Go for it! There is nothing wrong with needing some time for YOU and of course you DD will be in the best possible care with her Dad or grandparents. I have always left Ds with my sister for a few hours a week and he now goes to the (OFSTED registered and really great) creche at my Gym for a few hours a week, he'll be starting nursery 3 days a week the day after his 1st birthday when I go back to work.

BITCATKSTHJT · 09/01/2008 10:35

No way are you a bad mum! We are all different and if thats what makes you happy then go for it! I believe a happy mum makes a happy baby. I have 4 children 9,6,4 and 2 and i have always worked, not only does the extra money come in handy but i felt better in myself and as long as the children in good hands it's fine! Don't you let anyone make you feel bad, your a fantastic mum!

GooseyLoosey · 09/01/2008 10:42

No. Go for it - you will be happier and a happy mummy makes a happy baby! May also help her bond with her daddy for them to have some time together.

ScarlettOHairy · 09/01/2008 10:44

You're certainly NOT a bad mum. Being at home with a small baby all the time can be really horrible - some people love it, but in my opinion they are strange

Doing a course for 8 hours sounds perfect, just enough time away to keep your sanity, but not too much. Also good for your daughter to get used to being with other people.

Indith · 09/01/2008 10:45

I went back to lectures 10 days after ds was born! (not that I had much of a choice really). But definitely some time away, for you to do something for yourself, is great. She will get some great daddy time and grandparent time and you will get something a little more intellectually challenging than a nappy change

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