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Parenting

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How would you have handled this?

7 replies

Daffodillove · 14/04/2022 16:54

Out with DS x2 today: they are 11 and 8. We were in the play area of a national trust place. I told them where I was sitting and they went to play. Obviously I no longer follow them around everywhere at this age, but got up every few minutes to make sure I knew where they were and that they were ok.

When it was time to leave I went over and some other children the same age started telling me that my older DS had wrestled him to the ground. I was astonished as this is unprecedented but DS1 admitted it so it is true.

He said that the other boys were breaking up their sandcastles/ messing up their twig dens/ standing in the way of their games and generally being irritating. He said he just snapped and had a go at him.

I took them home immediately and explained that although the other kids were obviously being really annoying he has made himself the bad guy by being physical and he should have walked away and told me rather than getting physical.

How would you punish this? I’m torn as clearly he was 100% wrong for being violent but it does sound like they were all winding each other up. I just wish he had walked away from the scenario before he snapped.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 14/04/2022 16:57

You have had a good conversation with him about it and tool them home surely that's enough of a punishment? No-one got hurt

HDready · 14/04/2022 17:00

I agree - taking them home immediately was the punishment surely?

Daffodillove · 14/04/2022 17:00

Thanks @Theunamedcat. Perhaps I am just overthinking it. I was just shocked and worry that by 11 they are strong enough to really hurt each other.

OP posts:
Daffodillove · 14/04/2022 17:08

Thanks @HDready. Probably just being over the top but am so keen for them to learn that aggression is not ok!

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 14/04/2022 17:18

Aggression is sadly a lesson that sometimes needs to be reinforced so don't hit hard with the hammer first time if it happens again you have wiggle room if it happens AGAIN then you can go all in but first offence? You handled it fine

dipdye · 14/04/2022 17:24

Meh.

At least he's not a pushover?

No way I'd have left, NT is an expensive day out!

MissyB1 · 14/04/2022 17:39

He’s already been punished, don’t carry it on. Let it go now.

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