Little bit concerned re DS and understanding

[Justmeandmycats]

DS is 16 months. Motor skills are great and he has around five words which I believe is normal for this age. He nods his head for yes and shakes it for no.

However I am a bit worried that his understanding appears to be very, very limited in comparison to other children his age. If I asked him to get a coat or shoes he wouldn’t know what to do, and if I ask him to point at an animal or tractor or car in a book he doesn’t know either, doesn’t know any body parts.

He does point but not a lot … I haven’t been concerned because he babbles a lot and so I always just assumed he communicated in this way.

I’m concerned this may be because I’ve not really spent much time sitting reading with him and showing him things. Or am I worrying for no reason?

We’ve really been working on our daughters speech because she’s a bit behind and one of the things we’ve learned is to really work on understanding first. One of the ways we’ve done that is be giving her “jobs” for daily tasks. Some of her jobs are to get her shoes and jacket, get her bib before meals, put her nappy in the bin after changes, put her dummy in the sink after naps, get her changing mat out etc.

We done this by making sure her shoes/jacket/bib/changing mat are always in the same place and somewhere she could easily get it. The first couple of days we lead her by the hand and pointer to the items while giving the instruction and it was amazing how quickly she picked it all up.

We were amazed how much she was capable of understanding if given the chance and her understanding has just grown everyday from just a few simple jobs.

I’m concerned this may be because I’ve not really spent much time sitting reading with him and showing him things.

If you are not actively teaching him these things then of course he won't know them.

Or am I worrying for no reason?

Yes, I think you are. He is able to learn, but you must teach him.

'Let's go and get our coats' - once he knows what that means he will be able to follow your instruction to get his coat. Same with naming things, he can only name what you teach.

Thanks @MotherOfDragon20. I suppose because he never keeps still things like changing a nappy tend to be more pinning him down and desperately trying to do it as quickly as possible! I’ll definitely start trying, have some name cards.

I think it’s too early to be worried: they all develop at different rates at that age. But you do need to be reading and showing them things, as well as modelling speech. Just start doing a little bit every day and you’ll see an improvement in a very short time.

I'd say talk about what he is doing, looking at, etc., especially if he's always on the go, things like 'Ball. Red ball. You throw the ball' or 'Run. DS runs.' Keeping the sentences very simple and repeating one key word helps with building their understanding, and it's less of a struggle to keep their attention if it's about something they're doing anyway!

Talk constantly describing everything you are both doing (refer to yoursef as Mummy- 'Mummys doing up your coat' etc) point out everything like a loon with loads of enthusiasm (look a red bus, brum brum) etc, lots of singing, eg head shoulders knees and toes, role play with a dolly describing everything eg change her nappy and talk through each step and get him to help, make up little songs (or use ones from certain baby groups like sing and sign) for regular tasks eg change your nappy song, or putting on your shoes song etc. Children love songs and rhyme. Go to the library and get some board books out, spend time reading them with lots of expression, spend time pointing out the different things both in book and real life. Lot's of repetition, lot's of positive encouragment and feedback and you will be surprised how quick they learn, they are like sponges at this age!

Thanks. I’m feeling a little as if we’ve probably over focused on being out and about and not enough time sitting reading or looking at things.

It's not so much about sitting and reading, though obviously reading with them is important. If he's on the go all the time and you're out and about, just talk to him.

Name things repeatedly as you are doing thing. Simple language, one or two words while looking and pointing. Eg putting your shoes on, pick up 'mummys shoes' then 'ds shoes' repeat several times. Can he find 'mummys shoes'? Can he find 'ds shoes'? 'blue shoes' 'red shoes' whatever they are.

Demonstrate 'ds run', 'ds walk', 'ds jump'. You don't need a name card to learn 'car', just look and point as you're out and about.

Head shoulders knees and toes is a good start for body parts, then you can add more once he knows those.

It sounds ridiculous to an adult but just keep a running commentary on everything that's going on that he can see. Even better if you can do it in an over enthusiastic way, though I know I find that very hard for more than a minute or two. Be super enthusiastic when he gets it right.

He doesn’t stay in one place, though. If I’m getting his shoes he’ll have hared off elsewhere by the time I’ve uttered one word!