Will second child ruin my relationship with first?

[grosgirl]

Just that really. My DS is 4 and a half and a complete mummy's boy. I think this stems from the fact we lived away from DH during the lockdowns (because of his job) and so, we became our own little unit.

I know I'm bias but he's a clever, mature and very loving little boy and I massively enjoy the time we spend together. I work full time but on weekends and during school holidays, we go out to restaurants together and do other activities which DS enjoys.

For full disclosure, DS also co-sleeps and one of my favourite times of the day is putting him to bed, reading to him and then laying with him until he goes to sleep. (I know, I know!)

Anyway, I'm now expecting baby number 2 and it might be the hormones but every time I look at DS I just want to cry. I feel as if I've made a huge mistake, which is going to negatively impact on our relationship because I won't have the time to dedicate to DS in the way I have now.

DS is very excited about 'our baby' but obviously has no understanding of what having a newborn around is actually like.

Unfortunately, especially in the evenings, I won't have any support at home so it will just be the three of us.

Can anyone share their stories of maintaining a close and special relationship with DC1 when DC2 arrives? How did you manage the baby stage without putting your existing child's nose firmly out of joint?

Have no idea what’s going to happen to your relationship

But personally speaking - no, didn’t impact negatively it in the slightest. Changed because less intensity but by your child’s age, it’s sort of good timing with school on the horizon

I remember feeling exactly like this when pregnant with DD2. I think I started a thread about exactly the same thing. There are loads of articles online about it that are really reassuring. My age gap is smaller than yours and the early days were extremely hard as it felt like a constant push and pull trying to meet the needs of both. Mine are 5 and 3 now and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are really great friends and they love being together. DD1 is still a mummies girl.
I had the same issue with co-sleeping and it will be a while before they both have the same bedtime so will be easy to continue to put your first born down if you enjoy doing that. It will get easier as it goes on. But don't feel guilty about your first born, it will be enriching for them. You are giving them a friend for life.

If you work full time and ds is at scholl then his daytimes won't change too much so that probably helps. Also means you'll get to focus on baby in the daytime without him feeling 2nd best.