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Annoying poorly designed baby products

34 replies

WobbleHead · 12/04/2022 21:09

My 6mo is going through a nap fighting and cat napping phase. I thought I would try attaching the white noise machine to the pram to see if that would help him link cycles and keep snoozing.

But this fecking thing - crap clip (more like just a hook) that won’t attach anywhere useful on the pram or frame. Where it does attach it isn’t secure and rattles and bangs loudly with every bump because its plastic case is crappy and hollow. No way to add your own additional strap because it’s just all stupid and smooth. I might have to just gaffer tape it onto the pram.

The baby monitor - again no way to attach it to the side of the cot so we have a stupid tower of shoe boxes and books on a bedside table we don’t really have room for in the box room nursery - just to perch the camera.

White noise machine in nursery - struggles to connect to wifi even with router nearby - you can control it with an app on your phone but only if connected to wifi! Always chooses to drop connection exactly when you need to turn it on/off at 4am.

Stupid pram hood never bloody stays up. Its wheels are crap and get jammed with mud, so I have to take a ‘mud poker’ tool (satay stick) with me on winter walks.

The list goes on and on. Who are these dolts designing these impractical products?!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
WobbleHead · 14/04/2022 11:46

I’ve got another one - Abidec drops. Why make it so horrifically staining and smelly and with a fiddly syringe and a bottle with a wide open neck that can be easily knocked over??

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Talliah · 14/04/2022 11:58

Prams are the worst. You need at least 2: 1 that is easy to push and has a huge basket and 1 that actually fits in the car.

I had a 2nd hand Bugaboo that drove me fucking mental. Trying to put it in the car - you take the bassinet off and put it in the boot. Now you have collapse the frame and put the wet, dirty tyres on top of the lovely fabric hood. Alternatively, remove the bassinet and place onto wet, dirty ground, then put it into boot on top of the wheels. Either way that thing is getting filthy.

Came to conclusion that Bugaboo is intended only for parents who have an enormous 4x4 either/or only take the pram to clean, indoor shopping malls.

SophieG121 · 14/04/2022 12:10

I was going to say the same about babygrows doing up at the back. I've been gifted some gorgeous outfits that do up like this and it's impossible! DH and I always say the people who designed them have never dressed a baby.

On the flip side there are some baby products that are so clever, you just know the people behind it have seen the need and created it from experience.

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Pinktruffle · 14/04/2022 14:26

Who designed those bloody Calpol congestion plug in things with a light on it brighter than the Blackpool illuminations?! What genius was in charge of that? I couldn't sleep with a light that bright on, nevermind a baby!

pieonthesofa · 14/04/2022 14:55

@Pinktruffle

Who designed those bloody Calpol congestion plug in things with a light on it brighter than the Blackpool illuminations?! What genius was in charge of that? I couldn't sleep with a light that bright on, nevermind a baby!
See also, the light on the baby monitor.

Calpol plug in used to get a towel shoved underneath it to block out the light and the baby monitor has black tape covering the light. Otherwise DC just stares at the damn light instead of sleeping.

Babies don't need night lights!! And if an older child does, well then I'll bloody get one separately!

Madmaxxy · 14/04/2022 20:08

The soft silicone 'catchy' bibs. They're too soft so the catchy pocket doesn't stay open! Cue food all over the baby's lap and floor (and one happy dog)

I've just bought a firmer plastic Tommee Tippee one (sorry, dog)

SamanthaVimes · 14/04/2022 21:02

@Pinktruffle

Who designed those bloody Calpol congestion plug in things with a light on it brighter than the Blackpool illuminations?! What genius was in charge of that? I couldn't sleep with a light that bright on, nevermind a baby!
OMG I hate the light on that thing! It’s so bright, just why?!
WobbleHead · 16/04/2022 16:00

Also - our wifi enabled white noise machine flashes a bright light when it loses internet connection. It was doing this several times a night and we couldn’t work out why the baby was waking up so much until it did it while I was trying to resettle him again. Put a towel over it - baby gone back to sleeping normally. FFS.

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LazyYogi · 16/04/2022 16:52

Ewan the goddamn sheep is a piece of crap in my opinion. Only stays on for 20 minutes and the cry sensor was never sensitive enough to kick in before DS was fully awake and crying. It was far too difficult for a toddler to learn how to turn on and off in a sleepy daze (have to squeeze the body and it only works if the button inside is facing the right way.)
Wish I'd never let him develop a reliance on it. Endless evenings of switching it on repeatedly until he dropped off to sleep.

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