Worried about death

[isthisit83]

My DS4 (almost 5) is suddenly aware of his own mortality and also his loved ones. He keeps asking what happens when you die and will we come back? Who's gonna look after me when you and daddy die? He seems really worried. I feel totally out of my depth in dealing with these conversations. What can I do or say?

Just tell the truth. Tell him who his guardians would be if you died. Tell him you wouldn’t be able to come back, but that most people live until they’re old, so hopefully it won’t be for a long long time. Explain that even when someone died you keep loving and remembering them.

Oh gosh I did all that and he still told me that he's worried 😥

Can you explain to him that Granny is your mummy? So he can see how old you are and see that your mum is still alive and well??

I mean obviously he'll know on some level that she's your mum, but make him really understand that one day he'll be your age and you'll still be around, just like your mum is?

I think he just wants reassuring, blew him.

I think this is really normal, my dd is too young still but I vividly remember going through this at that age.

(My mum was quite unhelpful and kept saying, yeah we could die at any time, that's why you have to look before you cross the road...thanks mum lol)

But anyway I was in waterstones the other day and I actually saw some age appropriate picture books about death. In the section where there are books about coping with a younger sibling. There were books about coping after a grandparent dies. Could be worth checking it out

Oh this is so common and right at this age. It is really hard for them.

Maybe I'll check the library for some books. I thought I was saying all the right things but he didn't seem reassured. It's also giving me a lot of guilt around him being an only child 😥