Autism

[peaches36]

My son is just turned 3 and starting nursery in a few weeks. Most of his life so far has been lockdowns so has been pretty sheltered sadly. I’m just after some support and advice hopefully as Im worried there’s something wrong with him.

Doesn’t talk
Rarely understands instructions
Sometimes doesn’t respond to his name
Doesn’t clap or wave
Doesn’t really play with toys/games and prefers to do things alone
Flaps his arms a lot, likes to spin round
Occasionally lines up cars etc (not very often at all)
He hand leads when he wants something

But then I flip it in my head and think there’s loads of ‘signs’ that don’t apply to him, he’s super loving, fine around other people/kids, has no eye contact issues, if he wants a drink he’ll bring me his cup etc. I read online (silly I know) and my only concern is some articles say literally everything and anything is an autism ‘red flag’ (hate that phrase) sign.

I’m going to call the HV over the weekend but in the meantime any thoughts/similar experiences/advice?

@peaches36 I’m not ‘sly shaming’, whatever that means. Your child is 3 and has got no language whatsoever, which indicates a significant delay. He should have received input long before now. My son was also around the same age as yours when we went into Covid lockdown, he’s about to turn three. There have been plenty of opportunities to develop language since then. Despite what you say, there have been months upon months where you could have been ‘seeing family’ and groups have been reopened for a long while now. He really should be well onto a pathway of support and it is concerning that he is not. As others have said, given his age and level of delay, it’s probably worth bypassing the HV and going straight to the GP. Contact SALT directly. Could you afford to go privately? Many waiting lists are long post Covid

Just to reassure you OP we weren't allowed to access regular speech therapy until my son turned three. The year he turned six we were signed off, because he had no further need of speech therapy. He had both a speech delay and a speech sound disorder. You would never know now.

Don't bother with the HV, you should book a GP appointment and go with your list of concerns. They should refer your son to paediatrics for further assessments, and when he starts nursery you may find they want to meet with you, raise concerns etc and someone should be doing a referral to speech and language for further assessments. My son was diagnosed aged 3 and a half. He was, and still is, very loving. Start the ball rolling as he obviously has developmental delays which need investigating and your son will need extra support. And you may need extra support etc. when looking at primary schools, as if he still has delays you may need to look at special schools or an EHCP in order to access mainstream, if this is appropriate.

Just wanted to send some virtual support. My DD (2.5 ) is autistic (not yet formally diagnosed but indicated by various professionals) and I remember the time of wondering whether certain things meant autism, endless googling, as being really difficult. Our situation was a bit different because she had some speech but then lost it all (regression). You don't need anyone shaming you about not getting help, the system is slow and with your first child (?) it can be hard to know what's 'normal'. I've done tons of reading about how to best help and with the speech, one consistent theme is talking to them as much as possible, exposing them to language as much as you can, is really helpful. Making an effort to burst their playing alone bubble and speak (whether or not autistic). Just want to reassure you that there's things you can do yourself, even if you have to wait for external support. Try not to worry, easier said than done I know.

Have you spoken to the GP now OP?

I wouldn’t imagine lack of play groups etc had a huge impact on early language acquisition. I don’t know who has lead you to believe this is where most children do their developing especially in under 3s.

I wouldn’t imagine lack of play groups etc had a huge impact on early language acquisition. I don’t know who has lead you to believe this is where most children do their developing especially in under 3s

This is 100% true my children would not have been in playgroups before 3 but even the two with AN spoke well by 3 although the one diagnosed with ASD had and still has language delays relative to his peers.