Is it normal for 3 years olds to be this hard?!

[Londonlady92]

My DD is 3 and a half and the second child. I have a son who is 7 and very well behaved and quiet (obviously had the terrible 2 stage) but DD just seems a whole other level. She was a good baby up until the obvious terrible twos when she just started being really really hard work. From the moment she wakes up she is moaning or whinging in some way, she wants whatever DS has and won't stop the tantrum until she gets her way. She refuses to eat most meals its just a constant battle to get her to eat although she'd happily snack all day its more that she just doesn't want to listen! She used to hit us all thankfully touch wood she has grown out of that. Me and DH are losing our minds with the constant battles everyday I just don't remember DS being THIS hard at 3, was I just lucky?! Half term isn't helping either!

really feel for you!! stand firm and stay consistent with routine, hopefully there are a bunch of things your dd will grow out of, but also she will come to appreciate your consistency over time, that you're not changing the goal posts on her. how is she around other people?

@3under4inhackney thanks for your reply! Sue goes to pre school 3 times a week and is never like it there!! She isn't shy to show her devil side around grandparents though. Everything just seems hard work, like going places this half term have been stressful because of her tantrums we have to deal with. Maybe its because her older brother is so well behaved I compare but my god!!

My dc2 is similar, can't turn round but he's fiddling with the oven, switching the lights on and off, banging the doors. We are on holiday with 4 adults at them moment and he is still uncontainable. He has already locked himself out of the holiday cottage amongst other things, day 1, before breakfast. Last night fil spent some time explaining how to open the child proof door catch to mil but for dc2, no problemo....

All I will say is when I look back on videos of dc1 at the same age she was similarly immature. Just a lot calmer!

My 3yo DD is really similar and I've thrown a baby into the mix

I just try to remind myself they're all easy and difficult in their different ways. My eldest DS was a horror between 9 months and 2.5years. I thought I'd ruined my life. Now at 6 he's an absolute poppet and so easy. DD will get there.

Like a PP said stay calm and consistent, keep showing her lots of love and praise for anything good she does.

The food thing, I don't really know what to do. We just get her to sit and participate in meals even if she doesn't eat anything. We often give a bowl of porridge or a banana at bedtime just so she's not going to bed hungry but try not to give in to smack demands all day. It's hard though.

Solidarity

My DS has just turned 3 and is such hard work. He's always been hard work, he wasn't a particularly content baby and would scream bloody murder every time he wanted a feed. But he's really stepped it up a gear since turning 3. Every time he doesn't get his own way, he loses his shit and tantrums. He hits us and older DD too. DD was tricky at 3 but nothing compared with this.

Solidarity! We have started being firm, a warning for hitting and screaming and then if he continues, a time out shutting him in a spare bedroom for 3 minutes. It sounds awful but he won't stay on the step or in the corner and his behaviour just wasn't improving - he has hit nursery staff a few times recently which is why we've resorted to time outs as I can't have him being violent to other people (it's not ideal when it's close family!).

Oh three is worse than two imo. And four. Then it gets better.

Thanks for replies. I think I always assumed 2 was the worst but 3 has been 100% worst!

My DD is nearly four and has just turned a corner (I hope!)

At 3.5 I was tearing my hair out as she had meltdowns about everything- even going to playground or softplay

Her grandma (who helps with childcare) was so stressed about it too and I think she was close to resigning from childcare duties!
It was such a stressful period and I didn’t know what to do with DD as she didn’t even want to do fun kids activities.

But fast forward a few months and things are soooooo much better. I’ve been off work with DD today & we’ve had a lovely day with minimal moaning

@MrsSpooner that is music to my ears. I notice (with sadness) how stressed my poor mum can get with DD compared to how easy and enjoyable it was with my DS for her. She really tries though bless her. Hoping 4 brings better times!