Toddler behaviour towards baby sister

[Abridget7]

My ds is soon to be 3yrs and has recently taken to being cruel to his dd who is 1yrs.

Things like pushing her over, hitting (mildly but intent is there) kicking her and generally being rough. Today he almost shut her fingers in door deliberately but I managed to get there just in time. He was great with her until she started crawling.

I try to practice a gentle approach to telling him off but it seems the more I tell him, the more he does it. He now finds it funny. We make sure we praise him for good behaviour.

Is this normal?

It’s fairly typical behaviour, but should be managed as you don’t want him to start hurting others or really harm dd. Either jealousy or not understanding boundaries.

When does he do this? Is it when you’re not paying him attention? If so, and you react to him, it will only make him do it more. Kids love attention, good or bad. So I’d suggest making lots of fuss over him, spending time talking, playing. Rebuild the connection you have, and say ‘gentle’ when he goes to touch dd. Show him how and praise it.

Once he’s secure in your love, bring him into play time with her. Get him to help get you all ready, praise all the way.

It will take some time and lots of effort, but he needs to understand that you love him and a baby sister can lead to more love and attention. It will help develop a strong bond between you all.

He might also benefit from some rough and tumble play, which teaches kids to understand physical boundaries. We do this a lot and the kids love all the pretend fighting/tickles. My toddler has learnt that if he hits me too hard (as obvs i don’t hurt him, but he will kick and hit with glee when we are mucking about!), I say ‘ow’ and he will now rub me better. Really good for building compassion and empathy.