Working from home while kids are off school

[Reluctantadult]

Covid forced many people to work from home while juggling childcare and home schooling. My impression is that since then many people have kept this up instead of paying for wraparound childcare / kids clubs. What do others think?

As some examples, I have several friends who work from home, pop out to pick the kids up at 3pm, then carry on working til 5. And friends and colleagues who have the kids at home now for Easter but haven't booked say a kids club or alternative childcare. I am talking about primary aged kids here.

To be honest I am wondering if I am missing a trick by being too rigid in saying I can't work if I am looking after the children. I finish work at 3pm every day so miss out on 2hrs pay compared to some friends. I forked out £40 for a kids club today so I could work, which unfortunately the kids are missing as they're both ill! I'm taking the day off to look entertain them, but am sure other people would say they were working. Maybe I am just jealous that other peoples kids will happily play upstairs and let the parent get on with things?!

But don't seven year olds play with the neighbour kids? In their bedrooms or outside? I'd assumed ours would be out on their bikes largely leaving us alone by then?

I quit wrap around care, I pick the kids up at 3 and carry on working. I work flexi and am booked off for 30 minutes when I pick the kids up. So i work until about 5.30/6pm. My kids are 7 and 9. They literally just plonk themselves in front of the telly or play in the back garden when they get home from school. DH works different days to me and is home 2 school days a week. He is usually home by 4pm too. So there's only really about 30/60 minutes three days a week that I'm supervising the kids and working.

I don't work if the kids are home all day with me. DH or I share leave between us for holidays and we've both been in the public sector long enough to have enough leave/flexi/rest days in lieu between us to manage it around our working days.

My boss is flexible and if needs be they are happy for us to work evenings etc in emergencies. I also do make sure I work long days when I can and work my arse off so no one questions my commitment to the job.

I use childcare with my primary aged DC because they run riot without supervision and it's unpleasant for all of us. I wish I could put my year 7 dc into some sort of club as well, though. I'm peppered with questions or requests for sweets and screen time. It's an awkward age imo.

I'll not be scrimping on childcare for the younger ones until they are too old or I'm too skint.

But don't seven year olds play with the neighbour kids? In their bedrooms or outside? I'd assumed ours would be out on their bikes largely leaving us alone by then?

Ahahahahaha! I suppose it depends where you live but no, none of the ones I know can be doing this.

This is the only reason I'm glad DH is a teacher, I carry on as normal and he deals with the kids. I'm in a fairly senior role in prof services, everyone has childcare in place.

We usually have (young primary) kids in after school clubs so it is a bit tricky when the holiday club finishes at 3.30! But we work around it, my husband and I swap in and out as we have meetings and we use the grandparents too. I do think some employees are more flexible now and will be ok with picking up of children early but then finishing work in the evening etc.

@Franca123

But don't seven year olds play with the neighbour kids? In their bedrooms or outside? I'd assumed ours would be out on their bikes largely leaving us alone by then?

My 7yo is less likely to entertain herself than my 4yo! It's a personality thing. I certainly wouldn't let my 7yo play in the street on her own. I would let her go to a friends of course but then they'd need to be off work I guess. Maybe I'll see what I can match make in the summer. But my 4yo would be trickier to do that with.

@TonkaTruckduck

I think it's a bit mean for the dc if parents are working through the holidays. My dc really look forward to the holidays to go on day trips, swimming, have play dates etc. I can't imagine letting them just be in their rooms for 2 weeks unless we were on the breadline and the choice was working or not paying the bills.

Kids get 13 weeks off school a year. Even if DH and I never have holiday together we can't cover 13 weeks with annual leave. So they can't have us taking them for day trips and playing with them every day if their holiday it just isn't possible.

That means they go to holiday clubs or they stay home with us while they work. We don't have family who can look after them in the holidays and while they'll have the odd day at a friends house that doesn't cover much of the time they are off.

We don’t do this, it’s unprofessional. During Covid, when there was no after school club, one of us did drop off and one pick up and we staggered out starts/finishes to cover our hours. Now we both start early a couple of days so that we can do school pick up and use after school club for one day. Holidays are a mixture of our leave, camps and grandparents. I’d only have them at home whilst I worked in an emergency as it’s not fair on them to mope about, not be taken anywhere, have their home turned into a workplace. Kids need outdoor time, activities, stimulus. It’s cruel to keep them cooped up during the holidays!

I’ve noticed this too, OP, and I do find it puzzling, especially with younger primary children (KS1 age). It was so difficult during lockdowns to manage work and home schooling, and I don’t want to do it again!

My DD is 7 and goes to after school club twice a week, and during school holidays we use a mix of holiday club and DH and I taking leave (no family nearby to help out).

If she was at home while we were both WFH, she’d be playing by herself or on screens all day, which I think would be lonely for her. She had a few days of this when we were both ill with Covid a few months ago, and it wasn’t great.

She is too young to play out on her own, and there are only a couple of other kids in our street. There’s also a space issue too - we don’t have a spare room/ home office so one of us is in the living room and the other in the dining room. She’d be stuck in her bedroom all day.

I agree with the previous comment about the difference between a young child entertaining themselves for an hour or two after school when they’re tired, and a full day. There’s been a few times when I’ve logged back into work to do extra hours after school pick-up, and DD has been fine chilling out, but a whole day would be different.

My kids have been used to me working at home for years. When they were v little, I'd stick them in childcare so I could plough through marking or disentangling coursework. Now they're older, I just warn them that I'm here but not here and to sort themselves out. Dd has a mate she can call for.

Ds will be glued to his xbox for the duration. I would love to get him off it, but can't see any alternative.
'Do you want to call for your mates?'
'No. They all want to play football or talk about it. '
'How about a walk?'
'By myself? That's weird.'

I'm going to teach him to iron, but that will still have to be after I finish work today.

I have a 9 year old and 14 year old at home whilst we work from home.

My lunch break is spent with them, as is my husband's when he takes it but otherwise they are perfectly content entertaining themselves...much like they do if we're not working!

Neither of our companies mind that we have children at home as long as it doesn't affect our performance or interaction with colleagues. To date, we've not had a single problem.

However, I do concede we can only do this because of their age and temperament. If our children were younger or had additional needs I'd be making formal childcare arrangements for them.

My 10 year old and 8 year old are at home. They go play out with neighbours. Watch TV or play games and get their own snacks. Work are fine with it.

If they don't need 'looking after' I don't understand the problem

Depends on the ages and temperaments of the kids.

I choose to pay for wraparound for my 9 year old as I'd rather he was active and playing with friends after school than gaming all evening. Probably in a year or so, might drop a day or more of the wraparound as he outgrows it. In holidays, I arrange a couple of days activities in camps, but may also do some just half days or reciprocal play dates and he chills the rest of the day. Others may have kids the same age happy to entertain themselves, but mine would spend 14 hours a day gaming and I don't want that.

Older than 12 and there's no wraparound and trickier to find camps they are interested in, so do need to be able to make their own entertainment, hang out with friends etc. I'm happier with dc doing that when I am local rather than an hour commute away.

Younger than 7 and I think working from home with kids around is hard and would expect people to arrange childcare.

If your work is flexi and you are missing that 2 hours pay each day, could you consider doing 2 extra hours once the kids are in bed?

It depends on a couple of things - mainly your work outlook and your children.
My work don’t seem to care. Some colleagues have preschoolers at home with them a couple of days of the week. They are happy for you to take time out of the day to drop kids off and pick them up. Talking to my friends this is not the case with where they work and it would not be allowed.
I do a mixture with my eldest. He’s in holiday club for 2 days this week - the reason for this is to give him a change and some exercise as he would lay on the sofa most of the day like a lazy slug.
The youngest is still in nursery and there’s no way I’d have him home with me he’s too full on.

Thinking back to when I was 12 and parents worked. I would get up late, watch telly. I might have gone out to buy sweets. Might have stood round in the park for a bit. Definitely would have read at some point, or written a story. Probably gone on the zx at some point

I suspect that had I been able to game like ds, I would have spent my day doing that.

@Schoolchoicesucks

Depends on the ages and temperaments of the kids.

I choose to pay for wraparound for my 9 year old as I'd rather he was active and playing with friends after school than gaming all evening. Probably in a year or so, might drop a day or more of the wraparound as he outgrows it. In holidays, I arrange a couple of days activities in camps, but may also do some just half days or reciprocal play dates and he chills the rest of the day. Others may have kids the same age happy to entertain themselves, but mine would spend 14 hours a day gaming and I don't want that.

Older than 12 and there's no wraparound and trickier to find camps they are interested in, so do need to be able to make their own entertainment, hang out with friends etc. I'm happier with dc doing that when I am local rather than an hour commute away.

Younger than 7 and I think working from home with kids around is hard and would expect people to arrange childcare.

If your work is flexi and you are missing that 2 hours pay each day, could you consider doing 2 extra hours once the kids are in bed?

My 7yo isn't in bed until gone 8 and I just couldn't face it. My works flexi time policy is work your hours when you like 7am-7pm.

My work is quite flexible, and like previous posters, I work a fair bit into the evening so definitely make-up my hours (not that anyone's checking).

During term time DD(5) is at school from 8:30 to 5:45 (including after school clubs) Monday-Thursday, and until 3pm on a Friday. DH and I sort of juggle her on a Friday afternoon (he picks up the most slack, to be honest).

She has three weeks of Easter holiday:

Week 1 - three day sleepover at SIL, one day DH took as holiday, and the final day DH and I juggled her while working.

Week 2 - she's in clubs from 9-3pm, four days we'll juggle her between 3 and 5pm, the fourth she has a playdate.

Week 3 - DH and I both on annual leave, we're going away for a week with DD.

Can I work at 100% with DD in the house, no. Do I get 100% my work done in strange hours...yes.