Who is family (absent father questions)

[Londonbabyland]

With families coming in all shapes and sizes the question about family structure sometimes seems to be a sensitive subject. Guidance on correct address would be most appreciated.

1. Single (unmarried) mother whose partner disappeared before baby's birth and neither paid cms nor was heard of since. Is he family? Should he be on family tree and generally be mentioned as family?

1. Mother's partner (not biological), not married to mother or adopted her kids, is he family?

1. Biological parents otherwise absent from child's life are they family?

1. Kids and family members of absent biological parents who were never present in child's life, are they family?

Basically, when it's not the usual nuclear model who is actually family?

It seems to be an ordinary exercise in early years and school settings to describe family and draw the tree.
Thanks!

Well yes we have a similar family bush.

I think they all should be included for clarity for whoever picks up your family tree in the future.

In a school or early years setting family is the people that are important to the child. Usually those that they share a house with but they might choose to add in grandparents / aunts / uncles.

Biology / legal factors don’t need to come in to it, just who the child knows well. (Presuming that the family tree is some sort of craft activity).

Single parent of a DD, her father and his family have never been part of her life from birth, or involved in the pregnancy.

No I wouldn’t include him or any of his family on the family tree. Which I understand might open questions, which I’m yet to face.

I would include a step grandparent, if they had a close bond with the biological grandparent (although not married) and child. Ie living together or if the child sees this person as “person x who lives with nana”

Family to me, would include all persons who are involved in the child’s life and biologically related, or by marriage / close relationship. My DD refers to some of my close friends as “Auntie H” etc, but these wouldn’t be included.

DD is a toddler my opinion of this may change, when she’s older.

Not so straight forward after all. Thank you
@sophienelisse @chocolatedigestives1842 @mummyneedsacoffee65

How are those trees/bushes reflect on the child nowadays? Is it something that can potentially attract nastiness by their peer group? Whilst single parent families are so common nowadays kids more often than not seem to grill each other about the absent parent (be it father or mother).

My Dd and her cousins are related through step sisters and half sisters etc etc.

We all get on well. We are very lucky.

They are all too young to explain it to just yet as they literally wouldn't grasp it. It's all far too complicated even when I explain to adults!

I'm sure it won't have any negative comments. I mean I get none now neither to my sisters so by the time these lot are grown up it will be even more common than it is now.

I love all my sisters, half sisters, step sisters and step halves. We are family.

I think my Nan had a big part in all of this. She treated everyone equally. We were all just another child to love. And we loved her.

All of our mums are strong, kind women.

As a social worker I'm privileged to to meet families who are all different, made up of many different people in a variety of ways. Family is whoever you want it to be. Unless its for specific legal purposes you can and should include whoever you want in your family tree. Be it blood relatives, step, friends or neighbours.

It seems to be an ordinary exercise in early years and school settings to describe family and draw the tree.

But in a school setting it’s not a medical, legal or genealogy need; it’s about who’s important to the child. Who is in their life. For this, family is whoever you feel you want to include.

Family are people who love you, guide you and wants whats best for you, sometimes you share DNA with those people, sometimes you don’t.

My son had to do one in December, we had Grandma at the top and under her was me and her two sons, joined to me we had Papa, under us we had my son. On the leaves we had his other uncles, aunts and cousins. Virtually none of us share DNA, but we do share love, care and a desire to look out for each other.

@YellowPlant

It seems to be an ordinary exercise in early years and school settings to describe family and draw the tree.

But in a school setting it’s not a medical, legal or genealogy need; it’s about who’s important to the child. Who is in their life. For this, family is whoever you feel you want to include.

If it’s a reception exercise, just let the child decide who to include. Accuracy is not a requirement. Kids will be putting down hamsters and such like on theirs.