Any help/words of wisdom appreciated

[ElmtreeMama]

My baby is nearly 5 months
A much longed for, prayed for DD

She is very much a high needs baby and has been from day 1, she also has had terrible reflux though medication seems to have this mostly sorted, she is currently teething and we're in the 4 month sleep regression though she has never really slept well and certainly never slept alone.

She is ebf.

Even with all the above in mind I'd say she is an unhappy baby, she cries A LOT, nothing consoles her - least of all me.

She doesn't seem bonded to me at all.

She doesn't want to snuggle or have a love or seem reassured by me ever. Though she does ALWAYS want to me held by either me or DH as long as we don't hold her too close.

I feel really down after another day of her crying whenever she is awake/not feeding.

She is gaining weight really well, no outwards signs of pain, calpol doesn't make a difference.

I honestly think it's just her personality.

Has anyone else had a baby like this and if so how have they developed.

Are they NT?
Do you have a bond now?
Are they happy/contented?
When does it change?

Any general positivity to help boost me through another day/week?

Thanks in advance

Hopeful bump x

I have pm you x

She also has had terrible reflux though medication seems to have this mostly sorted, she is currently teething and we're in the 4 month sleep regression

It will get better. Don't worry about long term problems - it's normal to find it v hard at this stage. My ds was a nightmare for first six months hardly sleeping longer than an hour day and night then as soon as he could crawl turned into the most contented little person, which he still is.

Hold on OP, it will get better. And get others to help!

My eldest hated being a baby. Cheered up immeasurably at about 18mo.

Thank you both very much

I just want to feel our bond 😔 and also obviously for her to be contended generally, it's good to know it does improve and has done for you!

I can give you some hope OP. Everything you describe is my DS 2 years ago. Awful colic until 3 months, which then turned into a permanent whinge/fuss/cry from 4 months onwards. Wanted to be permanently held, but facing outwards at arms length. A close embrace or being worn in the sling was his idea of hell. We went through all the diagnosis and I also concluded 95% of it was his personality (cutting out dairy and soya had a small effect, but it wasn’t a case of suddenly having a settled happy baby after cutting them out). I have to be honest and say his first year was horrendous and i hated maternity leave.

At about 14 months, everything changed. He learnt to walk (never crawled) and suddenly understood everything we were saying and started communicating back. By 15 months he was a different child. An easy going, joy I could take anywhere. People commented what a sunny natured toddler he was! He’s got a little trickier recently at nearly 2 - ‘NO X DO IT’ is his favourite phrase 😂 but we are still yet to have a tantrum and generally he’s very content. He’s obviously still young, but currently I have no concerns about neuro diversity. His language development has been phenomenal.

I hope you have the same experience x

I have one who was just like this op. Reading your post brought it all back (and yes, you do forget in the end!). I reached out on here like you and found comfort from others saying they had babies like that too. It's hard bloody work and I do feel for you!

Rest assured you are not doing anything wrong, it does get easier little by little. Once mine developed more independence she was so much happier. As a pp said, I just don't think she liked being a baby very much!

Strength and solidarity 💪 you've got this!