Any social workers or therapists maybe?

[AmaraShay]

My world has been turned upside down.

One of my kids told her friend about 'inappropriate touching' at home. Police, school and social services involved.
Kids aren't allowed to live together.
This happened over 6 years ago in primary school (both said nothing since) and police have said they are very confident it's a case of mutual child exploration but social services have said it will be months till we are back together. I'm just on the edge. I can't cope with it all.

I want to have some support and resources but for obvious reasons am scared to Google and don't even know what to look for
I am heartbroken for my children and am just at a loss.
I won't be discussing anything that happened, again for obvious reasons. I just don't know what to do with myself. I have chronic anxiety and am staying at families with my child but it's causing issues as no visiting children allowed here. I just feel lost and so sad.

Have you looked at this;
learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour/understanding?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7OOj_b6J9wIVG-ztCh0hTgC8EAAYASAAEgKnavD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#article-top
At the bottom of the page there is a PDF that you may find helpful.

How awful. Are social services not providing or directing you onto any forms of emotional support? Things always improve, just keep thinking that op

Thankyou for the link.

We've only met the social worker once. This has all happened in the last few weeks. I don't really know what's happening right now.

I'd reach out to the social worker, that's their job. They will have, or should have an abundance of resources available and they should offer emotional support too. I'd maybe see your GP too if your struggling mentally, there's lots of talking therapies available out there, but act sooner rather than later as there's generally a short wait.

I'm trying to guess at ages here, but I assume older child must have been 10 or 11 at the time, so 16 or 17 now? If the older child is younger than this, they were below the age of legal responsibility at the time so, while an investigation might start, it will come to nothing due to their young age at the time.

Are you able to say the ages of the children, or the age gap? It is relevant.

Reach out to the social worker. Do you have a Child in Need or Child Protection plan? This will include support for everyone - you and both children. If you don't have a plan, then your case is under assessment currently. Just jump through the hoops and take one day at a time.

Ages 10 and 8.

We have a plan in place right now but it's only to keep them separated. The social worker said all the children are 'open' now including uninvolved siblings.
It's just a living nightmare.

'Open' to social care doesn't mean the children are considered a child in need or needing child protection. It might mean social care are assessing the case to see if the children need social care support.

Don't stress. I know that's easy for me to say from here, but this isnt as massive as you are imagining. They are just asking questions and investigating, which is the right thing to do given your then 8yo made this disclosure.

This may well come to nothing. It will be something you look back on in the past. But you have to get through it now. So no benefit know worrying and stressing. Just take one day at a time.

It might be that your eldest might benefit from some workshops, especially if school say they have on file anything sexually driven. These would just be done sessions with a healthcare professional (usually) on matters like healthy relationships, consent, appropriate touching. They might even do this in-school. Theres nothing to be ashamed about in learning and growing. These are nothing more than basic sex education, just done on a 121 basis and tailored to needs.

If police investigate, it is done sensitively. They have to take your youngest allegation seriously. But equally, they will have to convince the CPS that there is a case with evidence. The balance of probabilities, given their ages as the time passed, is that its unlikely to reach the threshold for charging him. But I don't know the specifics of the case. You are most likely worrying over something that went happen tho.

Were they 10 & 8 when this happened 6 years ago?

Yes Apollo.

The police have interviewed the older child but his solicitor advised no comment throughout. The younger doesn't want to do an interview or press charges. So we are waiting to se what the police wnat to do moving forward (they said most likely nothing) and then it will be passed to SS to ensure all children are safe in the home.

If younger child has ongoing concerns then you may get longer social care involvement while they work through that. If younger child is fine with sibling now, unless the historic allegation is very serious (rape, for example), social care will probably close the case.

In terms of support and guidance - speak to your GP about what is happening. Your GP will already know. They won't tell you that they already know and will wait for you to tell them, but don't fear talking to your GP through shame.

Seeking help for your own mental health is a sign of your taking measures to keep your children safe and put them first - because you need to be well to look after them

Arenoth children referred for mental health support? School can do this, if not. School will also already know. Phone school, ask to speak to safeguarding and request a referral for mental health support for them both. There may also be self-referral options in your local authorities. Have a look on the children's services page of your local authority website.