Fussy 7yo & 10yo

[SMBart123]

My boyfriend has recently gained legal guardianship of his 7yo and 10yo.

They have been with him for a week now and will be in his care for the foreseeable future. We don't live together, but I've stayed every night at his request, for support.

The main problem I have is their eating habits. They have lived on supernoodles and chicken nuggets for most of their lives and are very reluctant to try anything new. Their Dad just seems to give them whatever they want whenever they want, to keep them happy... donuts, chips every day, McDonald's twice this week, chocolate, sweets...

I've tried to talk to him about it but he doesn't seem to be listening. Is it my place... should I try to intervene more, or do I leave him to it?

Difficult one as not really your place to do anything about it but I get your desire to make sure they have a healthy diet!
Perhaps you can slowly introduce new foods and better eating habits when you are around, and if you ever cook dinner for you all. I’m a big fan of just cooking one dinner and not doing ‘kids foods’.
If their Dad isn’t receptive to changing their eating habits then there really isn’t anything you can do about it. Have you had a chat to him about it?

It's not your place. Butt out.
How long have you been together?

So they've just been removed from their Mum's care and had to move house? Is that right?

I think letting them eat what they're used to for the time being is absolutely the right thing to do. Imagine the emotional upheaval they've just been through! I hardly think a few chicken nuggets and some sweets is the biggest problem they've got, do you?

Keep everything consistent while they settle and get used to their new environment. Then you can slowly and gently introduce new foods.

I agree with the person above - if they’ve just had to move house and have a whole new routine etc, I would leave food as it is for now and just keep them safe and happy. Gradually, you could put a plate/bowel of fruit/veg on the table with each meal. Serve yourself some and make it clear the children are very welcome to try some too but don’t push it. Over time, they might begin to try something if they have the control to decide for themselves.

@NuffSaidSam

So they've just been removed from their Mum's care and had to move house? Is that right?

I think letting them eat what they're used to for the time being is absolutely the right thing to do. Imagine the emotional upheaval they've just been through! I hardly think a few chicken nuggets and some sweets is the biggest problem they've got, do you?

Keep everything consistent while they settle and get used to their new environment. Then you can slowly and gently introduce new foods.

(I'm not sure if this is how I reply to your comment- first time user!)

Reading my message back it does sound like I'm being insensitive. They have been removed from mum as she has been misusing drugs and neglecting them.

I promise I'm very aware and supportive of their emotional needs. I'm a teacher so have some experience to help them. They seem very happy at the moment, and talking freely about the situation. My concern is that they're eating very unhealthy food.. I'm a bit of a "fixer" and just want to make life the best it can be for them. BUT, like you said- now is not the time.
Thanks for the advice!

It isn't your job to fix them.

The main problem I have is their eating habits.

This is not your problem to have. I would let them get settled in before I went trying to change anything that makes them feel safe and secure.

Do you all eat together? Maybe you could cook healthy nutritious meals for you and your boyfriend, the kids carry on eating what they have now, and perhaps in the future when they're settled they might ask to try what you and their DF are having.

We do this with our kids and sometimes DS will say "that looks nice Mummy what is it? and can I try a bit?

A week is nothing. Let them eat chicken nuggets etc and settle then gradually get dad to introduce a few extras on the side.