On the whole I have a good relationship with my mother, we were brought closer by the fact that my sister was horrible to both of us for years and we no longer speak with her due to her toxic behaviour.
However, as my much as I love my mum both her and my dad are extremely judgemental people and constantly criticise others. We could watch tv and they would be like ‘she’s fat, he’ ugly’ etc but you get the drift. I realised this a few years ago and now I can’t not see it.
This weekend they came up to stay with us (my partner and I) and I felt the judgement being aimed towards our house and our parenting. It’s not the first time. I grew up in an environment that if you put a thing out of place my mum would scream and shout and forever I felt like I was tiptoeing around her emotions. I think because of this I’m more relaxed on my house duties than she would ever have it. It’s not unclean just not spotless.
It’s not been a good year - we lost our baby at 13 weeks, I got covid straight after, have a toddler to look after, a wedding to plan and I’m just exhausted.
Today we fell out as she felt we hadn’t made the effort she felt she deserved for them (red carpet treatment) when they came up. We cooked for them on Friday night and we had a very rare date night on Saturday and she felt annoyed we hadn’t prepared a sat night meal for them. In hind sight maybe I should have done that but had she actually seen how exhausted I was I would have hoped for one time she could’ve made an allowance and there was no biscuits in the cupboard! Ffs. The other thing was Mother’s Day, I always go out of my way for her but this year I got her a card and forgot to get some flowers. I have always taken her out for meals (her demanding this) while my sister got away with doing the bare minimum and so I’ve spent more than enough over the years.
She’s a complete princess and my dad has always ran around after her enabling this behaviour. I know it’s a reason why my sister can’t deal with her and I get it (just not enough of an excuse to be so horrible though).
Sorry just ranting, I’m sure all will be okay but I’ve had a life of her and my sisters opinions thrown at me and it just always makes me feel like I’m not good enough.