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Stopping breastfeeding

20 replies

HalloHello · 08/04/2022 17:40

My 7.5 month old has been exclusively breastfed bar an occasional bottle of expressed milk when he was tiny. He is suddenly totally uninterested in breastfeeding during the day, except for settling for naps but he doesn't feed to sleep, he has a dummy. He is, however, up 4-10 times during the night for feeds. He eats 3 meals a day now, and eats well.

I think we might be coming to the end of our time breastfeeding and I feel extremely sad about this but I am also more and more frustrated when trying to get him to feed and of course shattered as I am up so often in the night.

I have no idea how to go about switching to formula. My DD breastfed until 16 months and just stopped on her own, and it was easy but my boy is too young for that now.

Should we go right to a cup for formula and skip the bottle? I know it's better for his teeth in the long run. Which cup is good? He drinks water from the 360 at the moment but only sips.

I am clueless, emotional, stressed and sad 🙈🤣

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Duracellbunnywannabe · 08/04/2022 19:14

At 7 months he will very probably need formula over night so you will need to use bottles for that.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 08/04/2022 19:16

Both my ff and bf babies were tricky with day time milk feeds at this age and had to feed in a boring quiet room. It could also be teething.

barneymcgroo · 08/04/2022 19:20

How does he go to sleep again at night? Once you've fed him do you have to rock him back to sleep or something? Both mine fed to sleep - so I coslept. Meant I didn't have to get up at all, we both got way more sleep. If you're keen to carry on, could be worth a try.

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Bluepolkadots42 · 08/04/2022 19:31

I really recommend an insta account called @olivialactationconsultant
She is a qualified UK midwife and also a qualified IBLC. She often does Q and As on her stories and also responds to questions in comments on her videos. She definitely has videos about weaning and breastfeeding. Hope you find something helpful on there- several of her videos have really helped me on my bfeeding journey with my second DC.

Original poster
HalloHello · 08/04/2022 20:04

@barneymcgroo

How does he go to sleep again at night? Once you've fed him do you have to rock him back to sleep or something? Both mine fed to sleep - so I coslept. Meant I didn't have to get up at all, we both got way more sleep. If you're keen to carry on, could be worth a try.
He feeds and once he's drowsy and pulled off, I put his dummy back in and cuddle until he nods off.

We co slept from birth to 5 months until he learned to roll and then he wasn't comfy with us any more so he's in his own cot in his own room.

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Original poster
HalloHello · 08/04/2022 20:06

@Duracellbunnywannabe

Both my ff and bf babies were tricky with day time milk feeds at this age and had to feed in a boring quiet room. It could also be teething.
He has just got his first 2 wee teeth so maybe it is that! Going to try and just offer boob before and after naps in his quiet bedroom tomorrow and see how that goes. He's just such a nosy parker!!!! Just worry he's not getting enough 🙈
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HotDogKetchup · 08/04/2022 20:29

Why do you think he wants to wean? He still needs milk?

SecondhandTable · 08/04/2022 20:34

I hear you!!! I saw your thread title in active and I'm so glad I clicked on it as I'm having the same issue. However my DS is only just about to turn 6 months and only started on solids today hah. I try to feed him every 3-4 hours in the day but he just isn't arsed. I am lucky if he stays attached for more than about 30 seconds at a time before he starts fussing, looking around, pulling on and off, clamping down...I just give up after 4/5 mins or so. But sometimes then he cries and tries to go back on but he does the same thing anyway! Then subsequently as you describe he is waking increasingly frequently at night. A few months ago he fed looooads in the day with a one hour dozy bedtime feed before bed, and was doing a 78/9 hour stretch of sleep at night before waking for one quick feed and then going back down for another couple of hours. I'm positive his poor sleep is due to the poor feeding but what can I do?! I hate breastfeeding, but I'm also aware that switching to formula may not make him sleep better, and as a general rule he settles to sleep much faster after night feeds that are on the breast than bottle. I know this because he usually has 3 bottle night feeds a week from DH and he can easily be up for an hour/hour and a half with him sometimes. So I'm terrified that if I stop I will make it even worse...although flip side is that I could rope DH into doing half of it then though I suppose. Or I could bottle feed in the daytime and breastfeed at night if needed but the worst part of it for me is having to feed at night so that seems to defeat the purpose of stopping!

Original poster
HalloHello · 08/04/2022 21:53

@HotDogKetchup

Why do you think he wants to wean? He still needs milk?
Oh I know he still needs milk but he isn't interested in breast feeding any more so I am getting increasingly frustrated and fed up so I no longer enjoy. He will need formula if I do stop feeding. I am sure loads of mothers have stopped feeding at around 6/7 months to go back to work and am looking for advice on how to switch.
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HalloHello · 08/04/2022 21:56

@SecondhandTable

I hear you!!! I saw your thread title in active and I'm so glad I clicked on it as I'm having the same issue. However my DS is only just about to turn 6 months and only started on solids today hah. I try to feed him every 3-4 hours in the day but he just isn't arsed. I am lucky if he stays attached for more than about 30 seconds at a time before he starts fussing, looking around, pulling on and off, clamping down...I just give up after 4/5 mins or so. But sometimes then he cries and tries to go back on but he does the same thing anyway! Then subsequently as you describe he is waking increasingly frequently at night. A few months ago he fed looooads in the day with a one hour dozy bedtime feed before bed, and was doing a 78/9 hour stretch of sleep at night before waking for one quick feed and then going back down for another couple of hours. I'm positive his poor sleep is due to the poor feeding but what can I do?! I hate breastfeeding, but I'm also aware that switching to formula may not make him sleep better, and as a general rule he settles to sleep much faster after night feeds that are on the breast than bottle. I know this because he usually has 3 bottle night feeds a week from DH and he can easily be up for an hour/hour and a half with him sometimes. So I'm terrified that if I stop I will make it even worse...although flip side is that I could rope DH into doing half of it then though I suppose. Or I could bottle feed in the daytime and breastfeed at night if needed but the worst part of it for me is having to feed at night so that seems to defeat the purpose of stopping!
Isn't it so frustrating! I was in tears today, I miss feeding him so much but also wouldn't miss getting my boob out for him to latch for 30 seconds and then pull off and he gets sprayed in the face with milk. I also won't miss the 8 times a night feeds for 5 mins then back to sleep. I just don't know what to do for the best. I fed my daughter until she was 16 months and never hated it as much as I have this week.
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AntarcticTern · 08/04/2022 22:01

With my 11mo I skipped the bottle and went straight to cups, but I don't think you'll get away with that for a 7mo. I think he won't get enough from a cup and you'll need to give him a bottle.

SpaceChocolatel · 09/04/2022 09:39

Mine was the same. I stopped offering during the day, and just carried on with the bf overnight. You could try offering a bottle in the day and see if he's interested, but it might be that you're replacing night bfs with night bottle feeds, which is much more of a faff imo. If yours is anything like mine he was always a hungry lad and just really loved filling up on solids in the day. Think we stopped day and bedtime feeds at about 8months.

Original poster
HalloHello · 09/04/2022 09:48

@SpaceChocolatel

Mine was the same. I stopped offering during the day, and just carried on with the bf overnight. You could try offering a bottle in the day and see if he's interested, but it might be that you're replacing night bfs with night bottle feeds, which is much more of a faff imo. If yours is anything like mine he was always a hungry lad and just really loved filling up on solids in the day. Think we stopped day and bedtime feeds at about 8months.
I really don't want to keep getting up so often at night, it's wearing me down!

My husband got up with him this morning and he took a 4oz bottle of formula so we will see how we go with that for now, and I'll feed him before naps and bed. I don't even know if he's taking milk to fill up at night or just for comfort to settle back to sleep. He never feeds for long!

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HotDogKetchup · 09/04/2022 09:58

It was a genuine question. My first dropped the breast in preference of the bottle around the same time. I had no issues taking the bottle away though.

My second won’t take a bottle approaching 9m so I’ll be feeding him longer!

HotDogKetchup · 09/04/2022 10:01

Re getting up so often, again my first just dropped these off but no.2 the boob monster I would still feed 3-4x a night. I’m afraid I started controlled crying for my own sanity and he now feeds once most nights, sleeping until 3am, occasionally twice.

HotDogKetchup · 09/04/2022 10:02

Also don’t let him fall asleep on the bottle or breast - he will wake up and need the same to get back to sleep. Look at sleep association’s. Even if I pull my baby into bed with me now I feed and then take him off the breast to settle himself.

SecondhandTable · 09/04/2022 15:34

Rather bizarrely my fussy boy doesn't even settle to sleep on the breast or comfort feed. So I'm assuming it is hunger in the night as he only feeds for 3-5 mins each side then has his dummy and goes back to sleep again either alone in bed or sometimes needs to be cuddled or rocked. If it is hunger then switching to bottle feeding during the night will be even more hassle. Which is basically the only reason I'm still breastfeeding! Having said that 4oz isn't that much milk, but how long ago had they last been fed milk before that? My DS can easily drink around 7oz of formula if it's been 4 or more hours since his last milk feed.

Original poster
HalloHello · 09/04/2022 23:47

He had breast fed at 4am, 5am and 6am then 4oz formula at 8am, then porridge! That was just the first time he'd had formala in ages so not really expecting him to sink 7oz in 1 go! We will try again tomorrow.

I'm hoping by filling him up in the day with his milk and solids, he may be more settled at night. I know he can settle himself, and I am slowly trying to get him to settle himself in his cot but I just don't have the will for controlled crying yet. Once my daughter is back at nursery, I will try and get him to settle himself for naps but don't have the time at the moment.

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Nightmanagerfan · 09/04/2022 23:53

It’s called “reverse cycling”. The Kelly mom website has a good article about it

HotDogKetchup · 10/04/2022 08:05

@HalloHello

He had breast fed at 4am, 5am and 6am then 4oz formula at 8am, then porridge! That was just the first time he'd had formala in ages so not really expecting him to sink 7oz in 1 go! We will try again tomorrow.

I'm hoping by filling him up in the day with his milk and solids, he may be more settled at night. I know he can settle himself, and I am slowly trying to get him to settle himself in his cot but I just don't have the will for controlled crying yet. Once my daughter is back at nursery, I will try and get him to settle himself for naps but don't have the time at the moment.

Their sleep cycles are much shorter in the mornings so this sounds totally normal for a baby that settles on the boob.
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