Taking 2 year old to fancy restaurant

[vincettenoir]

My brother is having a big birthday and the whole family is going to a fairly posh restaurant for Sunday lunch for the occasion. I have never been there before but I understand it is reasonably formal although they do allow small children.

My 2 year old daughter is invited because my brother wants us all there (also we wouldn’t have any childcare if she wasn’t invited).

When we go for a pub lunch my daughter obviously struggles to sit for long periods so we take turns to take her for a walk around the pub and keep her occupied at the table by giving her lots of attention. In a pub there is no pressure to keep the noise and activity down. But the atmosphere here will be different and I don’t want to be a nuisance to other diners at the restaurant.

I am not dead against using a tablet with headphones although it’s not ideal and it will only keep her occupied for so long anyway.

Does anyone have any tips on how to keep her occupied in a way that will minimise inconvenience to others?

Does your brother have kids ? Can he see why the situation is difficult for you ?

If other family members would get involved in keeping her occupied and giving you a chance to eat and enjoy yourself I would do it . Otherwise I would meet them at the pub afterwards maybe . I can sympathise . Some people just don’t see how challenging it can be to keep little ones occupied . It’s often not a fun dinner out for mum.

The restaurant allows small children, anyone dining there should be aware of this and in any case Sunday lunch is a family time and a much more relaxed event than an evening meal. Take things to occupy your child and include her in conversation. Do your best and have a nice time! ☺️

DB’s kids are older and you’re right, I think they have forgotten what it’s like eating out with small children.

But a key point for me is DB doesn’t usually do anything for their birthday as they don’t like the limelight, so the last thing I want to do is slag off their plans. I would really like to enjoy it with them and make it work the best I can.

We had this when my brother got married. The only child was my two year old son and the wedding was synagogue (which he was accustomed to, thankfully!) and then a naisce restaurant. They were FANTASTIC with him, staff and family, and went out their way to make things as easy as possible for us. I had been dreading it, but family were delighted to take him little walks and play games, the staff were just so nice to us.

Thanks @beattieedny. That’s v reassuring.

@vincettenoir

Thanks *@beattieedny*. That’s v reassuring.

You're very welcome . I hope it is a wonderful day for your family, especially the happy couple!

Okay .

New toys or something she hasn’t had for a while . Take a small bag to rotate .

Anything interactive family members can play with her too

I would let her sit with family and on laps until mealtime to avoid high chair ‘fatigue’

Make sure she’s hungry .. not starving of course but If she’s been snacking on bits then lunch won’t keep her attention

Take everything but kitchen sink for entertainment. Plus put it out there now that you are coming and hope everyone remembers that 2yo are a pain in the bum at restaurants so they will be roped in for entertainment. Keep it light in tone but make sure they know !

Just bring a few toys and books, it'll be fine. It's lunch which imo is fair game to bring kids to. As you'll be a big group having a celebration lunch together, you'll not exactly be quiet anyway, so I doubt your daughters noise will be noticeable, unless she started screaming (in which case I assume you'd take her out anyway). We've taken our kids to lunch at lots of 'nice' places over the years, and our experience is that the staff are usually lovely and accommodating towards them, in fact more so than family friendly places like pizza express (where I expect the staff, while perfectly nice, are a bit more jaded)

I love the idea of bringing a new toy and having her on laps until food time. Thanks everyone.

My DD is just over 2 and when we eat out (even in pubs and family restaurants) we take small toys (paw patrol figures are the current favourite) and those magic colouring book where the pens are filled with water so there's no danger of her leaving her artwork on the table cloth!
We also take snacks, such as a small pack of raisins, in case food takes a while to come out. Then the tablet comes out once she's finished eating so she can play games or watch cartoons while the adults finish eating.

I also agree with the pp who suggested her working her way around the table, being entertained by all of the adults. It's always a good distraction!

Colouring book and pencils kept ours quiet born before tablets were a thing - always took them to restaurants (I don't mean ones aimed at families, I like good food) and we were always made welcome. You have to give them attention, not expect them to entertain themselves colouring but if it's a family thing I'm sure there's plenty of knees to be passed around between courses

Please find an alternative arrangement.

I'd be so annoyed if I went to a fancy restaurant and there was a toddler next to me.

People are paying a lot of money, they expect a certain environment.

Start teaching her I spy. It has been a saviour for ds over the years... Never needed to worry about carrying holdalls of toys /snacks /walking round restaurants..
He has always come with us and oder dc... Get a table near the kitchen. Ds used to be happy watching all the comings and goings.

@vincettenoir - a variation on the same theme of new toys - but what I used to find really worked on air flights with my very active DS when he was younger was to buy and wrap up (in tissue paper with sellotape) a whole series of small toys and games that he then spent time unwrapping and playing with. Worked really well and the unwrapping added more time and excitement. They were generally all v small items but small children don't seem to care if they are wrapped up.

Before that I used to do a "feely bag" with interesting items from around the house such as a cork, a cookie cutter, some chunky beads, etc - and he used to enjoy looking at them all and exploring them.

Great idea @CorsicaDreaming. I think I will buy an etch a sketch or something similar and putting it in a few layers of tissue paper will occupy her for another 10 minutes and probably make the gift more appealing to keep her interest.

I just wouldn't go under the circumstances. Unless you can get a babysitter

I would think about looking at the menu in advance, deciding what you want and getting your family to order it for you so you don't have to sit through the first half hour of everyone arriving/deciding what they want/ordering/waiting for it to come etc. Arrive once the order has been put in and the food is on its way. Or one of you go at the start, put the order in and the other parent brings DD in once the food is coming.

My son was great in nice restaurants when small. A bit of food and sleep timings and you'll be golden. Yes, it won't be relaxing but it'll be nice to celebrate together.

I think it would be harder now he's older (pre-teen) as he doesn't love our company (or eating food) like he did when he was small!

@NuffSaidSam I like this idea too. There’s a lot going on outside that will keep her interested. I would be happy to take her for a walk for 15 minutes or so while everyone is ordering, meaning less time for her to get restless at the table.

Stickers were saviour for my daughter in restaurants at this age! She loved peeling them off and sicking them onto another piece of paper. Agree with what others have said about small new toys. I also would perhaps feed your child before you go, so that they are not having to wait for food – in my experience hungry toddlers do not make for a peaceful meal time! She can always have a small meal, or a few bits off your plate if she wants to eat when you have food

Agree with the suggestions for drawing and stickers. I love seeing small children in restaurants and Sunday lunch is a completely normal time for them to be there.

Yes, usbourne sticker books would be great.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Sticker-Zoo-Usborne-Books/dp/1409523136/ref=sr11_2?crid=3U8X1KTUIHDLA&keywords=usborne+first+sticker+books&qid=1649515022&sprefix=Usbourne+first%2Caps%2C80&sr=8-2

We once had a doll that was in a little bag for dd on a long flight. The bag turned into a cot and there was a dummy and a bottle. She loved it.

We used to have one of these in the back of our car.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pieces-Handheld-Basketball-Arcade-Pastime/dp/B0832XWXMV/ref=sr111sspa?crid=N5K3XBQI0KOD&keywords=Water+dolphin+hoops+game&qid=1649515323&sprefix=water+dolphin+hoops+game%2Caps%2C65&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzTTVGM0ZWN0FOM0Y5JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwODc0Njk1MlJST1dXOE5XWFVDTCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMzkwODMyMVhXNFVKUVBWVkVMMCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

@dipdye

Please find an alternative arrangement.

I'd be so annoyed if I went to a fancy restaurant and there was a toddler next to me.

People are paying a lot of money, they expect a certain environment.

Then you should go to a restaurant that doesn’t allow children, plenty of options out there for you.

OP it will most likely be fine. Plenty of other people there to help keep them entertained. And I’ve found places that welcome children to be absolutely great with them.