Consent taking children abroad when dad doesn't see the kids

[Mummybear1993]

Hi,
I am fuming. My ex made the decision last year not see the children or have any contact directly or indirectly with them whilst they are minors. However, I still need his permission to take them abroad. He has written a solicitors letter to me recently to state that he wants at least 28 days notice and will provide me with a consent letter no less than 14 days before.
Does anyone else think that this is unreasonable?
I have wondered whether a Child Arrangement Order would be appropriate.
Any advice would be welcomed.

Just because he sent you a letter doesn't mean you have to abide by it.
Even with a contact order I (resident parent) can take DD out of the country for up to 28 days without her dads consent.
Do you have their passports? If he doesn't see them just don't tell him and go but take their birth certificates with you, I've never had to show it but it's useful just incase there's an issue.

He’s being an unreasonably arse
Ask for his permission just so that it doesn’t hurt you in court in future
But go anyway whether he approves it or not
Also get legal advice as to whether this is enforceable in any way

If he is refusing consent and has parental responsibility you will need a solicitor.
Please don't listen to anyone telling you to do it anyway. If you did it anyway, and your ex was that much of an arse about it, you would find yourself charged with cross border abduction of a minor and would risk future SS intervention on you.
Get proper legal advice.

The fact he has solicitor's letters in place gives you further proof that he would take it further if you tried to take them without consent. He's clearly been pre-emptively to a solicitor and lodged his fears with them about you.
Good luck.

PAFMO is right. You do need his permission. You can go to court for a specific issue order to get the court's permission to take the children abroad on holiday. Longer term, you should apply for a Residence Order which clarifies legally that they live with you. You can then take them on holiday abroad for up to 28 days without the permission of this exceptionally pathetic sperm donor. It's worth doing it because he sounds determined to cause problems for you.

Thank you every one. I thought I was just feeling annoyed because he was my ex. I really feel like he is being an arse. What doesn't help is his wife is a solicitor so she just likes all the drama. His contact with the children stopped when they married and they had a child.
I have booked a MIAM/mediation just for me to to attend online on Monday afternoon. Hopefully that will give me the tick in the box so that I can get a child arrangements order/residency order in place.
I think "sperm donor" doesn't want anything to do with his kids, but he likes the control, as does his ex wife.
Wish me luck.
I just wondered if anyone else had been in this situation. Given that my ex doesn't oppose the holidays and that he agrees with the children living with me, will the courts be bothers since everything is agreed?

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

Just because he sent you a letter doesn't mean you have to abide by it. Even with a contact order I (resident parent) can take DD out of the country for up to 28 days without her dads consent. Do you have their passports? If he doesn't see them just don't tell him and go but take their birth certificates with you, I've never had to show it but it's useful just incase there's an issue.

Is a contact order same as child arrangements order? Problem is he agreed with our child arrangements so I am worried that the court won't get involved as there's no dispute for a child arrangement/residence/contact order. I just want in in place so I don't have to be controlled by him and his ex wife and for them to know all details of our family holiday and have to give 28 days notice and receive a reply 14 days before I travel etc. no idea why he coil to have just replied to my email rather than gone straight to a solicitor about it all.

I had a court order saying I could take my son out of uk for holidays.

It never said I needed my ex's permission.

I travelled with that and birth certificate.

The last time we came back into UK from a long haul trip, the immigration officer said to my son 'Who is that lady'.

My son replied my Mum buy he was a little surprised.
I was never asked for paperwork

Thank you so much. This is very reassuring.
I will go ahead and try and get a court order to confirm residence. I do not wish to contact my ex going forward so this saves any feels of stress about this if it's all sorted.
Don't know why his solicitor hasn't suggested an order to be put in place (although they may prefer all the letters given that he will be paying per letter and instruction to the solicitor). This would mean we would no longer have to contact him unless an emergency. It would be such a relief. He makes me skin crawl with his controlling behaviour.

@Mummybear1993 hey can I ask if you ever got it sorted and got a residence order? I'm similar situation with no contact and wish not to contact to gain permission though

Hi,
Never got this sorted as he said he would still want to know details of the holiday each time. No idea why when he doesn't know what they do for 51 weeks of the year but has to know all details of a week away abroad once a year. It makes no sense and it very controlling.
What are you planning on doing?

This.

You will, of course, read many posts on here about parents who have taken kids abroad without consent from the other. However, legally yes, you must either have consent or a residence order. I applied for this when my ex played the same game, cost me a couple of hundred quid, and I've been carrying it with me on holidays for 12 years. Don't give him the power. Fill out the form, lodge it, then book your holiday. It's all about power.

@Mummybear1993 ah sorry to hear that. I'm not sure anyone can go the residency order way without a good reason. You sound like you have though and I think the judge would be more than happy to grant it considering how unreasonable hes being.
I have no contact and would prefer to keep it that way due to DV.
I've been away before in the EU and never been asked anything. I guess maybe save certain countries until a later date.
Btw I dont agree with some of the scaremongering I see no mums gonna get in serious trouble for taken her kid on a few week holiday ! Lol judge would see how unreasonable the other parent is being a grant residence there and the.

Hello
After some much needed advice please. I am a single parent to a 13 year old. Father lives about a 6 hour drive away and has our son once a month for the weekend and about half the holidays. The next trip is for the end of July and my son has just said his dad is taking him abroad. He’s never done this before. He’s not told me, or asked me. There’s a long line of lack of communication and disrespect, which o try to let go of. Am I wrong to feel this is disrespectful? It’s causing me anxiety as I don’t know what’s going on. I have no issue with him taking our son on holiday. My son has expressed that he’s unsure if he wants to go as doesn’t want to be in a different country to me, and says he’s scared of flying. I am happy to reassure him and make him understand it’s a positive experience. But all I can think is why the hell hasn’t his dad spoken to me about it, and why’s he left to so late, it makes me feel insecure about what else he wouldn’t tell me etc. Am I being unreasonable to feel annoyed /frustrated? Another issue is my sons passport has run out.