How to react to a bedtime meltdown?

[KL92xxxx]

My toddler was 2 last month and usually whilst bedtime does take up to an hour it’s usually quite a calm ordeal with him in his cot and me next to the cot singing / shushing / doing nothing based on what he asks of me. He can speak really well and is usually good and letting me know his wants and needs.

Tonight bedtime took 1.5 hours, he’s just finally gone to sleep at past 9:30 at night. On putting him in his cot he decided to pick up his two comforters and throw them out his cot then ask for them back. I clearly let him know that I will get them once but if he does it again I won’t get them back for him. I gave them him again and of course he threw them again and I didn’t get them back which resulted in a 40m meltdown of him screaming at me for the comforters and nothing would calm him down.

He’s just started doing similar things in the day but obviously it’s easy to distract him then. He has just started pushing boundaries literally this week (almost overnight it feels like) so I suspect this will happen again at bedtime. I can’t for the life of me think the correct way to react when he does it again but any tips to prevent a 40m melt down would be great.

Is he still napping?

Two things - first, stick closely to your routine. don't drop naps or do anything unusual.

second, ignore the tantrum. no talking, no fussing. just wait quietly for him to calm down and then go back to the routine. If he learns that the tantrum has no consequences - nothing good, nothing bad, nothing changes - then he won't bother with them. It might take a couple of weeks but stick with it.

Its reasonable to expect a calm bedtime to take 10 minutes at that age. Story, into cot, kiss, leave.

That your toddler is controlling what happens at bedtime, to the extent the process is lasting over an hour, isn't helping your child or you, or doing any good.

With that as a back-drop, I'd suggest you just keep picking up the comforters and returning them. You don't have other firm boundaries or expectations in place around bedtime, so it's going to be hard to implement them with this one aspect alone.