Positive body image strategies for 5yo dd - advice needed PLEASE!!!

[WillyWonka]

This morning, my 5yo dd1 refused extra breakfast with "I don't want to get fat". Then when we were walking to school, she told me she runs around all the time in the playground. I commented that it was a good, healthy exercise and was taken aback when she replied that "it helps make you thin". I assume that something must have triggered this and clearly need to broach the subject but would welcome advice on how to do so without turning it into an issue.

I have to "post & run" this morning so, in an attempt to pre-empt possible queries/comments, I should add that dd1 is tall for her age and very slim - as was/am I. We are not a body conscious household, (by which I mean we're never on diets or exercise regimes) and we've always promoted the health benefits of food rather than just saying that "x will make you fat". It therefore worries me that she is talking like this at such a young age.

Thanks in advance for any help or advice you feel able to offer

bump

Please?

Just bumping this for you. I have no experience to offer but would be very interested in any replies as I have heard similar comments from my five year old niece.

You need to be upfront and truthful with her.

Explain that breakfast helps keep you slim, because it refuels your body after night fasting and gives blood sugar a boost and helps stabilise blood sugar for the morning (and even the rest of the day). Try to buy a book that explains this idea in good scientific terms (I expect Dorling Kindersley will have something).

Ditto exercise is good for you, but only if it engages your mind - so a proper sport engages the whole person and gives you feelings of achievement, participation etc, while running around like a hamster on a wheel is boring, mindless and ultimately just a punishment.

Make it clear that the easiest and best way to stay slim and healthy is by enjoying eating good healthy food and satisfying your appetite three times a day, and by taking regular enjoyable (not exhausting) exercise in a fun way.

I would use the word healthy rather than slim.

She is responding to what other people are saying around her when she's out of your care - that's why you're doing the right thing by not reinforcing it at home. You are providing the balance.

I wouldn't make too big a deal at this age - just casually say that healthy people who are active and eat the right things don't need to worry about it.

Bit like sex really with the information - just brief explanations at her age

I think of it a bit like swearing, they are picking up the negativity at school and when they come home you balance it out.

If you're not a body conscious household and none of you are an unhealthy weight I might say something to her like 'We eat enough til we're not hungry in this house'. I like Oliver James idea of saying what we do in this house a lot - fosters a sense of family and tradition in the house - and nicely excludes all the negativity you don't want them to pick up outside.

Gosh willy my dd is five as well and i would fall off my chair if she came out with something like that. Where do you think she is getting this from?
I know you don't want to make an issue of it but i would and find a way to find out why she thinks she needs to be slim. It could be that someone has said something and that they need a good smack quiet word.
( I was stick thin but blessed with a rather j lo-esque bottom and my stupid brothers who should have know better thought it was really entertaining to tease me. I spent from about 8 wearing skirts with long tops or jumpers...ggggrrrr).

My DD has a fantastic self image and great confidence. I guess we just constantly tell her how great she is. I don't mean just how she looks but how nice she is, how smart, how kind, how helpfull - all that good stuff.

With my eldest (DS1) I was so stupid and I listened to my mothers crap about not letting kids get big headed.I now realise that a child does not become conceited if you tell them how great they are. They only beome conceited if you only tell them how great they are.
DD gets told off, she gets told no. But she gets told everyday that she is lovely and we love her and she has biteable toes and a kissy tummy and a good 'remembering head' ( when she remembers something of course ).
I don't know if this is gibber but I would say try and find out if something is bothering her and then try to counter it. But also tell her all the ways in which she is great so that how she looks will never be her only measurement of worth.
Good luck

Have you asked her why she thinks it's good to be "thin"? She might come out with something interesting, which will give you a way in to explain the difference between healthy and thin.

For comparison, DD1 is also five and knows that it is good to eat healthy food and good to exercise your body so it is strong. She knows that some things make you fat and sometimes tells me off for eating "unhealthy" food But so far, she has not said anything to suggest that she thinks thin is good and fat is bad. Which I'm pretty happy about!