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Breastfeeding - too soon to quit?

10 replies

Sydney199 · 05/04/2022 23:38

Baby is currently a week old and I have mastitis due to baby not latching and I am even also struggling to pump (extremely inverted nipples). I’ve rented the madela hospital grade pump with no luck. The only way I can get milk is hand express.

Any mummas out there that gave up breastfeeding too early and regret it down the track? I know it will be a long journey to have success with breastfeeding and a couple of the midwives agreed it would be difficult. I was really motivated during my pregnancy to try my best to breastfeed. But now I’m just sad I’m missing out on time and joy with my baby so I can hand express every 3 hours to keep my milk up and mostly keep the mastitis under control so I don’t end up really ill. It seems all I am thinking about is my boobs and I’m already over feeling stressed about it!
(FYI Baby is having formula like a dream, no issues there thankfully)

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AnneLovesGilbert · 05/04/2022 23:44

Are you getting proper help with the mastitis? Have you seen a lactation consultant? Is the challenge your nipples or might there be something like tongue tie causing latch issues? Have you tried a hakaa pump? They’re really cheap and vacuum onto your breast, i got way more with one of those than an electric pump.

It’s such very early days. If you want to continue trying then do, get all the help you can. Mix feeding is a good choice for many mums. You could ask for your post to be moved to the infant feeding board. There are also great groups on Facebook if you use that and the website kellymom is a font of knowledge.

Chely · 06/04/2022 00:11

Try as long as you feel comfortable.

I remember feeling quite depressed when I was having issues feeding my older kids. Switching to formula alone was the best thing for my mental health. I was happy combination feeding younger ones for a while but all have been fully ff by 6 weeks.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 06/04/2022 00:18

It’s never too soon to quit if you think you need to for the sake of your mental health, physical health, or bonding with the baby. All valid reasons, and all potentially in play in your situation!

I’m a giant advocate for trying to get breastfeeding to work and for making sure mothers have the support they need to breastfeed if they want to. I was exceptionally lucky in that regard. But it doesn’t work out for anyone (it didn’t for my own mum!) and there’s no sense putting extra pressure on yourself at a time when you’ve got enough life changes to adjust to as it is!

Basically - if this is something you really care about, then you could try to push through for a few more days or weeks (maybe a set deadline would help for reassessing?), and see how much help you can line up. But if it’s becoming an obsession and putting your health at risk, then of course you should feel no hesitation about stopping.

Good luck, with whatever you decide!

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Selma22 · 06/04/2022 00:23

Formula feeding is easier, there is not doubt about it.I however persevered with pumping (had latching issues too ) and I am so happy I did.Breastfeeding was something I planned for various reasons and I am happy I can give my baby breast milk.
IF it is important to you there are so many Facebook groups that can help you make it work

Fluffyowl00 · 06/04/2022 00:32

Have you tried nipple shields? They give some respite. It’s all to do with the baby getting the latch right, nothing to do with what you’re doing and they bought me a week ..and she learnt to be more gentle! (We’re 9 months in and loving it) But I also combi fed and pumped a little and it was fine.

Selma22 · 06/04/2022 00:41

Oh to add very few women further flanges that come with pumps. Measure yourself and order correct ones.Changed pumping for me as it was quicker and more efficient

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 06/04/2022 19:36

To answer your other question: “ Any mummas out there that gave up breastfeeding too early and regret it down the track?” I highly doubt you’ll find any! There’s a hilarious line in one of the Pitch Perfect movies, when a group of very conventionally attractive women start singing a sappy, hyper-feminine, wispy song - a competitor mutters under her breath something along the lines of “ugh, you can tell they were breastfed”. 😝

It goes without saying, you could never look at someone in their twenties, either in isolation or looking at their relationship with their mother, and have the faintest clue whether they were breastfed or not. I don’t see many parents of teenagers agonizing about having formula fed their infants.

Breastfeeding benefits are at a population level. At an individual level, there are soooo many factors (including inverted nipples, tongue tie, and mastitis) that can make breastfeeding more of a challenge than it’s worth. I know several women who a year or two after birth felt moderately regretful that breastfeeding didn’t work out for them. I know many more women who in retrospect stuck it out too long, put too much pressure on themselves, and really imperilled their mental health. They regret those dark days with their newborns far more than switching to formula.

I’m not saying you should give up. I pushed through with my first DD when my milk was slow to come in. It was stressful but it paid off, and I breastfed two of my three kids until they were nearly 2, and personally I loved it. But I also know that a lot of that was down to luck.

Whatever you decide, I think you need to work hard to take “regret” and self-judgment and deviation-from-the-plan off the table, difficult though that may be!

MovinOnUp · 06/04/2022 20:06

I gave up early with both of mine and have no regrets.
DD just didn't latch properly and I managed 5 days.
DD fed like a champ but it was impossible for me to feed him and look after 21 month old DD with no support.
Like I say, No regrets.

greenleaveseverywhere · 08/08/2024 09:56

I gave up at 4.5 months and I've never stopped regretting in :(

OopsieeDaisy · 08/08/2024 15:17

I’d planned to breastfeed DC2 for around 6 months, same as DC1, however after 9 weeks it was taking its toll on my mental health and we switched to formula. I felt some guilt initially but I’m happier and able to be a better mum, and both DC are therefore happier and more settled, it was definitely the right choice for us. I think it’s very personal and depends on your own individual circumstances, unfortunately no one can predict how they will feel.

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