When will visiting family be enjoyable again?

[Travelwithkids]

All my family lives abroad, I'm really close to them. I used to visit every couple of months and have a great time.

I now have a 3y old and 5 month old. I always look forward to going to visit but when it actually happens I can't enjoy it at all.

I worry about the DC being out of routine, mental load of making sure we have everything for them, they are fed at the right times, sleeping OK... Add in Covid and now the stress starts a week early worrying about them catching germs that will compromise the trip. (3 out of the last 4 visits either we or a family member have caught Covid and its ruined the plans.)

Plus the fact that there are 2 children to entertain during an 8 hour journey... and once there we have a packed schedule, visiting different family members every day, spending 1h+ travelling here and there. Sometimes putting the LOs to bed somewhere else and getting them in the car to drive back late into the evening, resettling once we get home. So stressful!

I hate that I am like this though. In reality it always goes well (covid aside), as the DC are very easy and adaptable. So it's just me ruining it for myself. My eldest is also SO excitable, absolutely loves the visits, it's amazing to see them so happy. I feel bad that I can't enjoy it.

Am I just doing it wrong or is it normal to be a bit overwhelmed? When will it get easier?

Been there. I would definitely relax about the routine.They’re 8 hours out of sync anyway so there’s literally no point sticking to a strict schedule. If they’re fed, happy and sleeping when you want to sleep then all is well IMO. I would also try to ease off on the schedule and not do so much travelling around once you’re there. Have people come to where you’re staying as much as possible. Maybe even go for longer so you’re not doing something every day- I found this was key for me not being stressed out. But yeah it is normal to be overwhelmed, travelling with 2 young kids is a lot!!

Thank you, good to know I'm not just being a failure. Although it's an 8 hour journey, not 8 hour time difference so don't have that excuse!
This week for the first time I insisted that family travel to us instead some of the time and they honestly didn't seem to get it and I felt guilty. Like I was telling them I couldn't be bothered to travel all the way to them or something.
I think allowing days where we do nothing would help. Otherwise everyday I feel the pressure for them to have a perfect night's sleep so they are not an overtired mess for the following day's visit.
I end up with insomnia most of the time we're there through the stress, it was 2am yesterday by the time I drifted off and am so tired already. Can't sleep now as I'm worried about not sleeping and also trying to figure out what tomorrow's nap schedule should look like arghh!

Hmm I love taking my daughter to visit family - I’ve even jumped on a plane with her just the 2 of us to visit my family randomly while on maternity leave a few times (also takes about 8 hours)

I am very aware of the routine and all that going out the window but have learned to relax about it

I do my best to plan it around naps if possible - so for example book the flight around the time she is due a nap and hope she sleeps (this always goes 50/50😂)

Last time we flew late (9pm) her 7pm bedtime came and went - we arrived at midnight her still wide awake - she got to my parents and was so excited to see them that she stayed up another hour she was so wired 😳 I put her to bed she was very overtired and upset But she did eventually settle

It was worth it for me to get to see my family!

We got her back on a loose routine over the next few days