20 Month old nightmare at meal times

[Catlady2021]

Any advice please- I appreciate this thread may have been done so may times before !

Our 20 month old boy is a nightmare at meal times. Won’t sit still, plays with his food, drops it on the floor, picks food up and plays with it. He cries and whinges in his seat.He’s been like this for a month or so.
We put it down to teething- not wanting to eat, or perhaps a cold or virus. But he’s still the same , like I say the last month he’s been particularly bad!

We’ve tried giving him what he likes- shepherds pie. But still no joy. We’ve tried turning the tv off, let him sit on our laps. Even ignoring him while he has a paddy.

He’s the same at breakfast too, sometimes he’ll eat and other times he’s not interested.
He goes to nursery a few times a week and again, something he refuses food and just eats his snacks.

We do try to cut out snacks, but we’re just generally worried he’s not eating enough. I know the old saying that a child won’t starve themselves- but it’s quite draining.

We’re due to go away this Easter at a friends house - I’m dreading DS’s table manners whilst we’re there !

Any ideas— sort bumping thread !

Sorry bumping thread!

If he snacks well, what's the difference between snacks and meals in your house? My toddler doesn't seem to like getting her hands messy so much prefers easy-to-eat foods like rice cakes and bread and biscuits to things like shepherd's pie where she'd get mucky, so I've been trying to make meals easy to eat like snacks are (so more separate things like broccoli, potatoes and chunks of omelette etc). Don't know if it's relevant for you but thought I'd say just in case it helped you too!

Any advice appreciated Blackcurrant!

Are you all eating together? Do you eat the same food?
Are the meal times at the 'right' time for him? Is he too hungry to eat, or too tired? Do they work round nap time?
Is he still having milk?
Do the snacks mean he isn't actually hungry enough to eat a meal?
Is he in a high chair? Would he be better in one of those booster seats that strap to a dining chair?
What is your response when he throws food or 'plays' with it?
Is he eating anything?

He’s in a booster seat. No longer a high chair. We all eat together, at the table.
Sometimes depending on what we have, he has the same , otherwise he has what we think he likes- if it’s not food that we can give to him like spicy food etc etc.
He snacks around 3 pm, we eat around 5ish sometimes 5.30.
We do tell him off- and sometimes we ignore him, we’re trying everything!
But sometimes he’ll eat, it’s just more often than not that he won’t..

So is it just the evening meal that's the real problem?

Mainly evening meals. Breakfast not too bad, lunch can be ok. He’ll eat lunch mostly.But evening meals very stressful.

Would it help to put him back in his high chair till he gets what’s expected?

When mine were small they had their main meal at lunchtime and then something like beans in toast and fruit, or omelette and yogurt etc in the evening. They just seemed too overwhelmed by a proper meal at that time.

As long as they have enough of everything over the day, it doesn't really matter when.

Does he still nap?
Milk before bed?

My little boy is slightly older than yours and we had the exact same issue at that age, I think it's just a phase they go through at that time as he suddenly stopped one day and went back to eating everything! Fingers crossed it doesn't last long for tou x

No advice but my 19m DD is the same. She's never been a great eater and has a couple of allergies to add to the mix.

Sometimes she eats absolutely fine and then sometimes everything is on the floor and she just wants to play halfway through a meal or spit it out is her current thing.

She also won't eat a lot of 'proper' family meals so ends up just eating jacket pots, pasta and soup (homemade sauces and soup as it's the only way to get veg in), toast, cheese , yoghurt

Thanks all- yes he does have milk when he goes to bed, and sometimes in the morning we’ll give him a bottle- depending on the time.
Maybe a main meal at lunchtime would be better for him.

I think you have rather unrealistic expectations tbh. He's not even 2.
ANd if it's more of a problem for evening meal, tiredness is maybe a thing.

Definitely don't put TV on during meals. Sit together. Model good behaviour. Praise when he's doing what you like and distract or re-model what you'd prefer when it's not ideal.

But you cant seriously expect him to sit still for too long. Quick bit of food then ask if he'd like to get down to play

Hi hope things have improved? ☺️