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Original poster

Baby travel HUGE argument

18 replies

blinkywinkytime · 30/03/2022 11:58

Just looking to get other new parents opinions on an ongoing issue!

A 7 month old daughter being taken on a journey to join grandmother in a restaurant for her 60th birthday. Baby would be in the car for 6.5 hours in one day. No option to stay due to having my foster child over the next day so need to be back for that.

My gut feeling is it's too much travelling for her and she screams in car set when awake. Would sleep probably half of each leg of journey. Husband agrees with me.

Other option to meet half way grandmother refusing as it's her special birthday

AIBU ?

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marinar98 · 30/03/2022 12:05

my personal opinion is to take the 6.5h journey. unavoidably she will get uncomfortable, and tired from being in the same position, so have some stops every 45mins-1h. it's better to get them used to the car for whatever reason, especially when young.

i understand your preoccupation, i'm originally from another country to the one i'm living in, and every year we go on holiday back home, and the drive is about 20h. i've worried about putting my LO who will be 8 months at the time, in a car for that long, but it's that, or flying and i'm not comfortable with flying with an under 1 baby either.

my partner and i opted for the drive, just needing to be aware we'll have to stop more often and try keep the little one entertained more.

at the end of the day you're not hurting your baby. most likely your baby will get annoyed of being in the car for a while, but they'll be fine!

gogohm · 30/03/2022 12:10

Is it possible to go the day before and drive back after the meal?

SamanthaVimes · 30/03/2022 12:21

Is there Any way you could get a train rather than drive? I agree with you that 6.5 hours in one day is too much if she’ll be awake for a lot of it. Especially if she doesn’t like the car generally.

Or would the timing allow you to drive up over nap time and drive home over bedtime? To help her be asleep for more of it? Might mean you hanging around a bit after the meal but mean less screamy baby in the car?

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RoseslnTheHospital · 30/03/2022 12:27

I've done similar journeys in one day, but the difference is that mine were happy in a car seat and generally didn't tend to scream or cry when awake.

Presumably you can't go the evening before?

Chely · 30/03/2022 12:46

YANBU that long in the car at that age for a meal out is daft.

Holly60 · 30/03/2022 12:50

Yes that is a lot in one day! Could you go the night before? Otherwise meeting half way would have been sensible but if granny is refusing, what can you do?

R0tational · 30/03/2022 12:50

The grandmother should have planned it better. Poor you, I can imagine the pressure you feel under.

littlebird2 · 30/03/2022 12:55

I wouldn't want to be in the car that long in one day just for a meal. Nevermind a baby.

I absolutely wouldn't do this with my dd. She is 11 months and it would be hellish after she had slept.

Also, when you get there baby will be expected to sit in a high chair during the meal? She will be aggy from the journey so presumably you or you dh won't get to eat while your food is hot.

Arrange to see grandmother another time. She will be 60 for a whole year 😉

AegonT · 30/03/2022 14:33

Can you travel the day before? Otherwise that is a crazy journey for one meal. We would have a very bored 7 year old and a hysterical 10 month old for at least half the journey. Even if you stop lots they won't want to spend time in the car seats once they have napped enough.

headspin10 · 30/03/2022 16:11

Sounds like a nightmare. If I was a Grandma there is no way I'd insist on this- (if that's what's going on...) If so it sounds like a good opportunity to lay down your boundaries 🙁

headspin10 · 30/03/2022 16:13

How about offering another option eg. We treat you to special birthday lunch another time? Spread out the celebrations! Grand daughter will be very grumpy if she's been in the car that long, don't want to spoil your special meal etc etc...

HellToTheNope · 30/03/2022 16:17

The grandmother is being ridiculous. Her expecting you to make that trip is just obnoxious.

FiveForAPound · 30/03/2022 16:21

I got stuck in traffic on the M1 for seven hours and twenty minutes when my dd was six months old and it was honestly horrific.

She's eighteen now and I still think of it.

I had everything I needed in my changing bag but she had to be in her seat pretty much all the time as we kept moving,

Abouttimemum · 30/03/2022 16:26

I wouldn’t drive that far in a day for a meal. Never mind with a baby. Ridiculous.

minipie · 30/03/2022 16:34

@Abouttimemum

I wouldn’t drive that far in a day for a meal. Never mind with a baby. Ridiculous.

Agree

And nor would anyone in my family expect me to, thank goodness. Or vice versa.

AliceW89 · 30/03/2022 17:28

@Abouttimemum

I wouldn’t drive that far in a day for a meal. Never mind with a baby. Ridiculous.

Agree fully with this.

avocadotofu · 30/03/2022 17:31

My son hated his car seat at that ages so I definitely wouldn't have done such a long journey. I honestly probably wouldn't do such a long journey myself if I wasn't staying somewhere over night.

headspin10 · 30/03/2022 23:08

Maybe send her this thread...?

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