Disinhibited social engagement disorder - anyone has experience

[Loladoesmagic]

Hello,

I've got some concerns about my 4 yo DD's boundaries when it comes to strangers and I've come across DSED which perfectly describes her behaviour.

DH and I are so upset about the way she behaves when we are out, she latches onto strangers, mainly to play with their kids, but then she leaves us with no warning and never looks back to check on us. She is very bright otherwise, very articulate and has no other issues that we are aware of.

She's been to 2 nurseries, a private one before she joined the school one, and they never raised any concerns about her or her behaviour.

If anyone has any experience with this, I would very very grateful for any advice.

It’s her personality type

Will make her very vulnerable to being hurt as she grows older

So your focus needs to be in helping her rather than label. How to deal with rejection for example.

Op are you in London by any chance?

@NdefH81 yes we are in London

I’m not least bit surprised
I was in london ten years and raised two of my children in that time

This is classic London parent concern

It’s your daughters personality

My dc was like this although there were other problems as they got older and they were diagnosed with adhd aged 8.

I’ve never heard of the disorder you describe.

@Onlyhonest were there any other signs at the age of 4 that they might have ADHD?

@Onlyhonest DD has a very long attention span, can happily sit and read with me for hours. Also sitting down and doing colouring or puzzles, she has a lot of patience.

The main problem for my dc at that age was not conforming at school. There would be a problem every day. So if the teachers are not flagging up particular concerns, I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage.

@Onlyhonest I see. DD is very well behaved and compliant with everyone but us.

It sounds like what you have researched would come under a coping mechanism for children who have disordered attachment thanks to chaotic and disordered childhoods. We have a few children locally who are like this, extremely socially able and communicative on the surface, but heartbreaking family circumstances and not in mainstream school.
I have a very socially able dd, since she could crawl she'd be off to chat to other people. It serves her well as she gets older. Sometimes she needs firm boundaries, we leave when I say so, leave other families alone etc.