Is this behaviour/hunger level normal for a 3 (and 3 months) year old?

[OhRosalind]

DS goes to preschool each morning between 8.30-9. Beforehand he has breakfast, gets dressed, then has another snack just before heading out the door. At preschool he has fruit at around 9.45 (only fruit is allowed). He eats some but not a huge amount - half an apple, a handful of strawberries and so on.

I collect him around 11.30 and he is absolutely starving. It takes less than a minute to get home and if I want to ward off a huge tantrum or desperate sobbing I have to give him a snack the second we’re in the door, then lunch straight afterwards at around 12.

The preschool are suggesting leaving him for another half hour but I just can’t see how he’ll cope without another snack. But the other kids apparently manage (although he’s among the youngest in the year, a lots of the others are almost or just 4) and I get the feeling they think I’m exaggerating.

I get grouchy and a bit shaky If I don’t eat regularly so maybe DS is just the same and just needs to learn to manage as he gets older? When he’s not at nursery he has regular snacks and is fine, if he’s hungry he’s a nightmare.

Breakfast and snack usually involve a combination of wholemeal toast with ham/egg/nut butter/avocado, natural yoghurt, homemade oat biscuits etc, so they’re already quite filling. Is it normal for little ones to struggle to go for more than an hour or two without eating anything?

Have you tried given him something like weetabix or porridge for breakfast? Something that will be slow releasing and keep him going for longer?

My 22 month old has toast (with nut butter or dairylea) plus a bowl of either Cheerios or weetabix for breakfast. If I give her toast and scrambled egg for example, I find she’s hungry less than hour afterwards.

He doesn’t like porridge (or cereal generally) but we make biscuits with oats, oat flour and seeds. Plus he has other slow-release food like yoghurt, nut butter, and the toast is always whole or mixed grain. He just seems to need to eat very frequently.

I think it is quite normal for them to be overly emotional and tired at the end of childcare and the hunger might be a red herring. I'd take a snack for him to have on the way home. He will have been holding in all kinds of feelings and responses that he doesn't feel safe to let out until he is with you. I don't think half an hour will make this much worse.

My 3 yr 6 month old is like this. Literally I fire food at him every 2 5 hrs or he's on the floor in a heap. I keep a bag of pistachios and a box of oat bars in the car for 5pm snack after creche.

I’m sure there’s an element of that Bertie as he has found/still finds nursery and separation difficult and obviously I’m his safe person. However I’m certain he is extremely hungry as well, and that surely can’t be helping there either. On the days when he has a tantrum or cries, as soon as he gets the food into him it’s like a switch is flicked and he’s suddenly a happy chatty sweetheart again.

We literally live across the road from school so I don’t think eating on the way home would make any difference.

He would be a nightmare after 2.5/3 hours with just a small amount of fruit at any other time so it’s not that aspect which surprises me. I guess I’m just wondering if it’s normal or extreme and whether he just needs to grow out of it.

I don't think it's completely weird but definitely unusual - most children would be OK for that time period.

At that age, DS was having:
breakfast at home,
breakfast, snack, lunch, (snack? Not sure this was offered), tea at nursery
Full dinner with pudding at home.

What happens if you increase the size and fat/protein content of the snack before school?

Is he drinking enough?

Thirst can mimic hunger.

DS has

• breakfast
• Pre-nursery snack
• Fruit at nursery
• After nursery snack
• Lunch
• mid-afternoon (post-nap) snack
• sometimes another small snack depending on timing of nap/other snack
• dinner
• fruit/yoghurt, milk before bed

Pre-nursery snack isn’t huge but I suspect he’s just not that hungry so soon after breakfast, I will try to make it even more filling though. He generally eats little and often (except lunch when he will eat a vast amount of pasta with veg/meat/fish sauce, even though he’s just had a big snack). If you try and keep him going longer so he’ll eat more at main meals it ends in tears (my MIL tries this).

He has a water bottle at preschool to help himself to but he doesn’t drink a huge amount from it and I imagine that’s mostly at snack time so earlier in the morning. At home/out he drinks from it regularly and urine isn’t pale.

I am also someone who needs to eat regularly (and my mum is too), I’ve tested my blood sugar (a relative is diabetic) when I’m hungry/shakey and it goes pretty low but I don’t think it would be considered a medical condition, just a fast metabolism? I will mention it to the paediatrician.

It's normal

Thanks Justasmalltownmum, I’ve always thought it was, just preschool have me doubting it a bit. Oh well. I will work on getting him to eat more of his fruit snack and keep doing short mornings for now.

He’s probably having a growth spurt. My similarly aged daughter will have days where I feel I can never keep her full, then just as I start to get a bit worried her appetite reduces. I think at that age it’s important to be led by them and have plenty of good healthy food on offer, and let them eat their fill.

Could his fruit snack at nursery be a banana so more filling?

What time are you giving breakfast? Is it possible to push breakfast up to just before leaving?
I find it I can do that then my DS is much better.
He has a snack of fruit or yogurt at preschool and then stays for lunch at 12. Afternoon snack of fruit.
At 3pm collection time he’s starving so he gets tea straight away.
But then I find he’s too tired for something before bed but I try!
My advice is that just do what you can because they have varying appetites and this age is tricky.

Could he stay the half hour and stay for lunch?

Did you have gestational diabetes in pregnancy?

Thank you for all the suggestions and reassurance that it’s normal. Breakfast is probably too early but he’s hungry first thing and I can’t get him to sleep longer (he wakes when DH’s alarm goes off unfortunately). Maybe a smaller breakfast and bigger snack just before we leave would work better, I’ll try that.

He’s not a huge banana fan but I think that would help so I’ll buy them more often and keep trying.

I’d like to work towards him staying for lunch sometimes but they don’t eat till 12.15 and I think he’d been a complete state, plus he’s generally resistant to eating with other people (took him ages to start eating his snack at preschool or with MIL). Settling in hasn’t been easy and at the moment he’s happy there which I don’t want to compromise. Half an hour more would be great as it would mean I got more work done and he could do the full morning’s activities, but it’s not worth it if he then has a huge tantrum as soon as he comes out, or is miserable and grouchy there.

It might well be a growth spurt. I think he’s probably a normal toddler who’s a slave to his stomach, just one who tends towards little and often eating which maybe isn’t compatible with the school’s timetable yet.

Is it actually hunger though or is it habit/routine that's he's upset about breaking? He knows he has food at certain times of the day so gets upset at the thought of it not being there maybe?
My ds never snacked so to me that's not normal. How would you ever go out for the day if you constantly need to feed him? What about when he goes to school?

That shaky feeling when I haven't eaten for a couple of hours, completely went away for me when I started low carb. The snacks you describe are all quite carb heavy, yes even brown toast is still mostly carb.

It might be interesting to try a different kind of snack. Cube of cheese, Baby bel, celery stick with nut butter and see whether it makes any difference.

Plus drinking more water.

My 3.5 year old is similar. We call him feast and famine - it's mainly feast but he does have some periods when his appetite seems slightly decreased, but when it's a growth spurt he is insatiable! He has breakfast which can easily be two bowls porridge or weetabix with whole milk, some strawberries, a banana, two slices of toast with peanut butter (I have also started doing 'sprinkle toast' a la kids eat in in colour which are seeds or hemp hearts). He always asks for a snack on the way to nursery which is 15 mins later but he is definitely hungry, he will eat whatever is offered which is my test! so he would then have an apple, or some dried fruit. They have fruit as snacks morning and afternoon, I had to add in a thermos of hot food to his lunch box and he eats everything -- usually a thin bagel/sandwich with ham, a babybel, a yoghurt, some more fruit, veg sticks and humous then a thermos of pasta or rice. He'll eat every crumb. I have to take a snack for the way home then he'll eat at least two plates of dinner - spag bol or veggie sausage and mash level meal and he'll have soreen or rice pudding as well. Then he'll ask for weetabix or oatibix for supper again at bedtime and I often offer another cup of milk again just to fill up!

I started doing a banana smoothie with nut butter in with breakfast that seemed to help a bit, and I take trail mix for his after nursery snack. But he'll eat every crumb. he is really active though so I think it's just what he needs right now.

I think if he did the extra 30 mins he would probably be fine and no worse than currently, he'd just be distracted at nursery then if you live that close you can spoon in the snack immediately!

That’s really interesting about the carbs Finallyhere, I will try this. His pre-nursery snack is often cheese or ham (without bread) or yoghurt but he always has toast for breakfast and a carb-heavy diet overall (lots of bread and pasta).

I definitely think it’s a blood sugar/hunger not a habit thing, it’s the same with us but easier to manage. Its not always him saying he’s hungry, often he doesn’t even want to eat (eg if he’s playing), it’s more us who recognise his moodiness is related to hunger. It’s like a Jekyll/Hyde switch and the transformation after a few bites of food is huge.

I will encourage drinking more water.

Going out isn’t an issue, I just pop snacks in my bag (I always carry something for myself anyway). I’m not worried about school as I expect his eating habits will change anyway and he’ll also get better at coping as he gets older. We’re overseas so he’s at preschool for 3 years and it’s flexible.

Thanks Effram. A smoothie with nut butter and some banana in is a really good idea. DS doesn’t sound as ravenous as your DS but I do think he eats a lot overall and is shooting up at the minute.

“ I think if he did the extra 30 mins he would probably be fine and no worse than currently, he'd just be distracted at nursery then if you live that close you can spoon in the snack immediately!”
Yes maybe you’re right.

my ds was like this.
he still is actually (age 19). As a teen I often used ot shove food at him before we had a teen moment. He also needed to eat 'real' food. Shoving a biscuit at him wasn't enough, he needed a sandwich etc.

But neither of my other 2 are like this. I think some kids just metabolism faster.
ds was also tall for his age and is now 6'4" and seems to have spent his whole life growing!

years later, talking to my Mum, I realised she is actually like this, she makes wholemeal toast and peanut butter quite often when she is feeling that hunger cloud. And then realised my older brother is too.

As a general rule wholemeal isn’t great for under 5s, they fill up on too much fiber so don’t get enough calories.

Thanks Duracellbunny I sort of knew this but I thought they were supposed to have a mix so the wholemeal bread was to balance out the white pasta he has for lunch. I’ll switch to see if that helps fill him up.

That sounds so familiar steppemum, I think teens and toddlers have a lot in common.

I had a chat with DS about stuff he would like for snacks/breakfast and we thought of boiled egg, baked meatballs, oat biscuits, and hummus for snacks and smoothies and oat pancakes for breakfast. I also have some chickpea flour which we can maybe do something with.

It’s been ages since we’ve seen our paediatrician due to covid but we have an appointment soon and I’ll mention it, maybe we can get some nutritional advice as I don’t want to apply adult diet advice and deprive him of stuff he needs but some tweaking might help. I might look into low-carb for myself though, I’ve always just accepted the “hanger” and shakiness and need for regular snacks but it sounds like I could improve that.