No accidents but won't use potty or loo?

[Yeni]

I've started training my daughter at 2.7 and I don't think it is going well! We haven't had any accidents, but she is holding on and won't use the potty or the loo at all. I've tried bribery to get her to sit on the potty and she will sit on it for a short time but she is scared to do anything on it.

Yesterday she went from 9am to 2.30 pm in cotton pants with no accidents (including a trip to the park) but I couldn't get her to use the potty or loo at all during that time. I then put a nappy on her for her nap because she always wakes up sodden after the nap. Once she woke up I took the nappy off and she didn't do anything until she went to bed at 8 and that included taking her for a walk.

Ovbiously I don't want her holding on that long. Today I took her night nappy off at 7am and she has been in pants since then. She has been crying and saying she needs a poo, so I sat her on the potty and she was very agitated and didn't do anything.

The only times she has ever used the potty are when she has started to wee or poo and I have shoved it underneath her.

I've only started in earnest since Saturday. We did have a go the previous weekend where she did have a couple of accidents but her dad kept sticking nappies back on her so I waited until he had gone back to work before I had another go!

I think I am going to try her for her nap in pants this afternoon because otherwise she will just hold on until she goes back in a nappy.

Any suggestions as to how to get her to use the potty or loo? I do think she is ready because she has started to remove her trousers and nappy when she is wet.

Thanks!

Make sitting on the loo fun time! I did it by reading a book and using the time on the loo as time out together.

Just sit her on every other hour and tell her its story time. Try get a toilet training story book and make out one of the characters is her.

Then finish it off with hand washing singing abc song.

Then keep a box of sweets that she can choose one each time she goes.

Even if she does not actually pee rewrd her for trying and getting up on the potty.

Good luck.

Worked for me.

I would suggest involving her. Take her out to buy some special soap/towels for after she has used the potty and try the songs/sweets as joedar said. I also used a sticker chart and made a big deal out of it. If some of her friends are potty trained talk to her/let her watch them use the potty. I wouldn't suggest putting her back in nappies unless it's a last resort. She seems to have really good bladder control to be able to hold on for that long. I hope this helps. Good luck!!

Hi, This sounds very similar to my DS1. He was petrified of letting go and could hold on to it for hours. He'd get very agitated before finally weeing. I just ran after him and held the potty to try and catch some whilst making sympathetic noises! I let him have his nap in a nappy, to give us all a break frankly. He needed the rest after all that holding in! He has got there in the end and he can go for a very long time without needing the loo which is a bonus. We read books, offered bribery, did stickers, etc, but I think it was a matter of time, though he liked the stickers, and drawing pictures of people on potties weeing and pooing was useful (the levels you have to go to!). I don't mean to worry you, but mine held on to his poo much longer and would only poo in a nappy for ages. I think it's a question of not making a big deal out of it. Keep going and they all get there in the end. Just keep the kitchen roll and mop handy. Good Luck.

Hi Pinktoothbrush,
I moved to Germany 6 months ago and DS (almost 3) started Kindergarten yesterday. He's terrified of doing a poo anywhere other than in pants or nappy. Yesterday he held it in until I collected him at midday. He usually waits until he has a nappy on for a nap to do it. I'm a bit concerned now as the Kindergarten want him to get on with the training, as do I of course. I've tried stickers, chocolate as bribery, but nothing can persuade him to try the toilet/potty for a poo. Weeing is fine, but he needs reminding. I guess I'm stuck in a rut and 2nd baby due next month...eeeeek!

Hi CH, Drives you mad doesn't it!? Mine got it just before he was 3 and we'd been training for about 5 months before that. Based on what we went through and what I read on Mumsnet, I'd try not to make a big issue out of it. Drawing pictures of DS1 on loo and the poo going to the 'man in the sea' helped I think (another Mumsnet idea). We liked a book called 'Where's my Potty? too. I often offered the potty instead of nappy, but just left him to get on with it. When he gave up his lunchtime nap, he'd ask to go to bed just to do a poo in a nappy, or just hang on to it until bedtime. I can't tell you how ecstatic I was when he pooed in his potty - I was doing a lap of honour round the house! Good Luck with baby number two. If you can get over the sleep deprivation, babies are so easy compared with toddlers!

Maybe if she is holding onto the poo she could get constipated and you don't want that. I had alot of problems with all of my children but in hindsight they were not ready. I felt pressurised as alot of my friends children were toilet trained so much early. first son age 3 yrs 8 mnths, 2nd son 4 yrs, and my daughter is just trained at 3 and a half. How about having the potty there but being a bit more casual about it.
I know pull ups are really nappies but they are sort of inbetween aren't they? If you are getting frazzled get her back into nappies and have a rest. I live in scotland and they do accept children in the nurseries with pull ups on. i had to put all of mine into them. I then used these trainer pants from boots which are towelling and although they feel wet in them they don't soak everything. hope this helps.