Dreading returning to uni today.

[MiaWallace]

I have only been on the course for one term but I hate it with a passion.

I'm very disappointed with the course, it's not the least bit what I expected.

Although there are a few people I get on ok with, there's no one who I would call a friend.

I'm struggling with the work and only managed to get 48% on my first essay. I must admit to having no motivation to try harder.

I'm a single mother with a 2 year old dd and I live 120 miles from all my family.

I know I've only been doing it a few months but is it really worth it if it's making me feel so depressed?

what are the benefits to you completing this course - will it be worth it in the long run? can you swap to another course?

I feel a bit like you but I am reliably informed that the 2nd year is considerably better in terms of the courses getting more interesting so I keep going for that reason, as well as the fact that I really really want this degree

In fact last night I was so stressed about going in today that I barely slept.. was in the shower at 5.15. checked emails just after 9 which was just before I should have left and lo and behold.. teacher is ill so class cancelled today

I switched courses at uni after my first term - would this be an option for you?

Speak to your student advisor, it may be possible either to switch courses, or to take more options in another area you enjoy more?

What are you studying and where?

First year of uni is a funny one anyway, the freshers are all off gettng drunk (not that they will change their habits until final year) and everybody knows that is doesn't really count. For them it is a bit of light training into what is expected at uni. This year is your chance to ease yourself into it, create good study habits and get used to things. 48% isn't bad for a first essay, fwiw I continually get less than that in one of my modules. I just have to make up for it by concentrating on things I'm better at.

I'm afraid that friends wise I find that uni creates a bit of a black hole, not at work so no contemporaries that way, not much in common with the other students but without the time to go to groups that the sahm go to. It is tough, very tough. Does your dd go to the uni nursery? If so I expect a lot of the phd student and lecturer kids go there, make an effort to find out and to strike up conversations with them.

As for family, is ther anyone who can sometimes come up for longer periods of time? I have my mum up for most of this week so I can study before term starts next week. Am going to try to get an essay out of the way while she is here. If you can get extra help that way you can try to time your essays and such accordingly to give you the extra time to do them.

Thanks for all the quick replies.

I'm studying BA in Education studies at Exeter. I really would love to teach but think I would have been better off applying for a BEd. (which they don't run at Exeter).

The university nursery had no room for my daughter so she goes to a local nursery. She loves it there but there is no real opportunity for me to meet any of the other parents as they arrive before I do and just dash straight off to work.

Unfortunately both my parents suffer from ill health so there's no chance of them visiting. I think that this maybe a huge reason for feeling so depressed about it all. I really miss my family and because I don't drive I only have the chance to visit them during the holidays.

At the moment I'm seriously contemplating dropping out and applying to a uni closer to where my family live.

The only things stopping me is that I would miss the deadline for applications to start this year.

I would need to pay back my interest free overdraft that I used to clear some debts.

I may go to a different university and feel the same there.

fwiw I think that it would be much the same at another uni closer to your family. The main gripes you seem to have are to do with the work and fitting it etc. You can always reassess at the end of the year.

Shame about the nursery. It always takes time to settle into something new and uni is a hard one to settle into at the best of times. There must be some sort of welfare system srt up at your uni. You might not feel like going to it (how the hell is a 19 year old on a sabattical year going to able to help with my problems...) but they may be able to point you in the direction of other student parents.

Otherwise, take a deep breath and make a huge effort with the people you do chat to in classes. Amazing what a fairly regular cake and coffee between lectures can do.

There is usually some sort of university network for student parents. Ask the student's union about that. That might be a way to meet other student mums and that might help. But it IS difficulat socialising at university if you are a parent of a young child.

I can see that if you want to teach - a BEd might have been more up your street. In your place, my main concern about starting over would be the money issues. If you can sort that out - definitely make a decision one way or the other before the end of your first year (as the Turks say - no matter how far you have gone down a wrong road, turn back).

In my experience if you drop out of one course it does not pay to rush straight into another one - better to really take stock and investigate to see if it's really a better option - and not just more of the same.

Good luck.

Hi there, you obviously want to do teaching...any chance you might be able to switch over to early childhood study's or such like? Might be more your thing...not teaching, but it is, but more in a adult/adult and adult/child manner....you could work in Family centres with that degree....as well as in early years.

If you need help with the studying itself, have a look if you have a CfaP (Center for academic Practice) they do workshops and courses, that will help you with your coursework.

I don't know what else is on offer generally...as I am only at the stage of applying to University....

Thanks for all the advice.

I booked an appointment with my personal tutor for tomorrow to discuss things.

Hopefully she can help.

Hi Miawallace,
Hope your personal tutor is some help.
If you are sure about wanting to teach but it is just the circumstances which are difficult - ie being so far from family etc then maybe applying closer to them would be the best thing.
If that means you have to wait a year does that really cause a big problem in the long term?

I would certainly think about being closer to your family - I would want to be, in the same situation.

Surely you could transfer to another Uni rather than dropping out and re-applying? i think there is a procedure for transferring to other places...a friend did this and arrived half way through the first year when I was at Uni.

Might be worth asking your tutor about this - also ask the student union, they should have a welfare officer who might be able to give you some info. And talk to the Uni at the other end as well, they prob. will be only too happy to facilitate a move if it means them filling a place.

Hi Mia.
I too am studying Primary Education in UWIC, Cardiff and it is a difficult course. I have a 2 year old and have thought about dropping out. I'm in my 2nd year now and so far glad that I have stuck at it. It's difficult to fit in with other students when you're a mum ... are there any other students with young children on your course?
I would suggest just sticking at it for a bit longer. I only achieved 40 in my first assignment (maths) but went on to get 60s/70s in other subjects and got a 2:1 last year.
I'm back next Monday and dreading it too but overall I think it will be worth it in the end.
Good luck.
XxX

Thanks for everyone who offered support and advice.

I saw my personal tutor and she was great. She told me to keep on going till the end of the academic year and if I still wasn't happy she would help me transfer.

Just knowing I had an alternative option, if things don't work out, has lifted a whole weight off my shoulders. Ironically knowing I have the option to leave has made me less tense and feeling far more postived about the course I'm on.

I'm glad it went well

Hope the rest of the year is better than the first part.

Thanks Indith