3 month old daytime naps getting harder … am I doing it right?

[kaonyx]

My 3 month old baby boy went through the period of crying and screaming almost constantly all day (from about 4-9 weeks), at the time I was feeding constantly as it was the only thing that would soothe him. I eventually put a lot of this down to overtiredness. He had stopped falling asleep by himself (like newborns tend to do) and had become more aware of the world around him and was resisting sleep, he would even only sleep for about 10-15 minutes after feeding. Once I noticed this I made more effort to look for tired signs and stick to wake windows.

Almost overnight we were getting into some kind of normal pattern which was reducing the amount of time he was crying. Nap, feed on waking, play, start to get to sleep, nap … etc, all within a 2-3hr window depending on how long he sleeps for. And while he’s playing, he’s generally happy. He still only does contact naps, either in my arms or in the sling, which is fine and a topic for another time(!), but the getting him to sleep has always been stressful.

I see him yawning in advance, and he starts getting increasingly fussy the longer he is awake. So I scoop him up, and start singing lullabies, walking around the room, rocking him, shushing him. I always remain incredibly calm and consistent while doing this, but he has almost always resisted it and will painfully scream against it. I see his eyes getting heavy, but then he’ll have another burst of energy and start screaming all over again. When I first started doing this, it would sometimes take 30 minutes until he exhausted himself enough and fell asleep.

It did start getting better for a short period, only taking about 10 minutes with only a bit of fussing, but now we’re back into full on resisting for increasing amounts of time, and its taking its toll on me, I’m starting to think he isn’t going to like me as he’ll always associate this unhappy time with me :(

So my worry is, am I doing whats best? I have mum-friends that are all saying they are completely led by their babies. Letting them fall asleep while nursing, not counting how many times they are nursing and nursing whenever the baby wants. This is pretty much what I was doing before I was sticking to wake windows, and it just didn’t work for us either. My baby would ‘feed’ any and every time you put a boob in his mouth as he liked the comfort of suckling, and not necessarily because he was hungry.

I do nurse him to sleep at bedtime and during the night, and he is actually a very good night time sleeper (touch wood!), but I really don’t want to get back into the habit of nursing him to sleep during the day, and I like having a more scheduled routine … is this wrong? Or should I stick to what I’m currently doing? Only feeding him once he’s woken up from a nap (unless he’s completely inconsolable!), because that still means he’s nursing every 2-3hrs.

I was assuming that getting him to sleep would get easier, but it doesn’t seem to be!

You’re doing everything right. I think he’s too young to have a more rigid routine at the moment.

Do you use a dummy? It’s a great sleep cue if you can get him to associate it with napping.

Can you do naps in the pram to give yourself some hands free time?

I found it a really hard time too, my DS would be so tired but was horrendous at doing to sleep. Music/rocking/dummy was the formula that worked for us, but even so it took a long time for him to go to sleep.

I nursed to sleep for day naps (and bed) for 1 year. I figured if it meant she fell asleep quickly I was all for it!

Maybe he is starting to want to wriggle around a bit to get comfy? Or he finds the world too stimulating when tired?

My eldest could only drop off without screaming if she was rocked in a covered buggy with white noise. Rocking in arms turned into a disaster for her from about five weeks.

Naps are a bloody nightmare, I felt like the first 5 months of my sons life were trying to get him in a blooming routine.
It gets easier, especially once they go down to naps. Then everything kind of clicked for us.

I think you're right to try and not feed to sleep. I did and ended up having the worst 4 month sleep regression.
As others have suggested, could you try the buggy?

Do you think he might want a little feed before sleep? Not to get to sleep but sometimes a bit of warm milk is comforting. A dummy might also help.
Once I moved away from feeding to sleep I used to shush and pat his bottom.

We introduced a comforter at 6mo and it helped with self settling thank god. No more battling to get him to sleep!
Xx

Thank you for all your replies! Its just nice to hear that what I'm doing isn't wrong!

I did try introducing him to a dummy, but I think I left it too late! He is perfectly happy chewing it, but never sucks it, so it means I currently have to hold it for him when he's chewing as otherwise it will be straight on the floor.

The pram used to work on walks, but not so reliably anymore, unless I find some really bumpy terrain 😂 But he tends to wake up within 10 minutes of arriving home, and doesn't like being in it while inside.

I hadn't thought about using a cover before tho, that might help him not to get so distracted, will give it ago :)

Thank you all for the suggestions!