DS is such hard, HARD work. Help!

[Lambsandchicks]

DS (15 months) is lovely, developing normally as far as I can tell, lively, sweet and has even started to sleep well (sometimes.)

He walks brilliantly but he never goes in the direction he’s supposed to go in, and will find water, a grumpy dog, a car park … then have a tantrum when steered away. I’ve tried reins but they are no good as when you steer him away from whatever he wants to explore he flings himself on the ground and cries.

But he’s also decided he hates his pushchair and as a result I’m finding myself a bit stumped to know what to do with him. I’ve always enjoyed going for long pram walks with him but now not sure how!

Been there with all 3 of mine. It does pass eventually! A trike might help or instead of saying 'no' to what he's going after, direct him to what he can touch.

When mine did this I stopped letting them walk outside and just used to keep them in their pushchair.
It does pass quickly! It’s just rather stressful fighting a toddler back into their pram multiple times every outing and leaves such a sour taste doesn’t it. It’s stressful for both of you!

It’s easier to just battle them in initially and keep them in, by the time the storm has passed things are much easier.

I kept mine in the buggy. I bribed them with food and drink, a bag of crisps usually.

We had something like this

www.tptoys.com/products/tp-toys-4-in-1-trike-dino-discovery?variant=37634453733541&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgaT8r-rl9gIVVeDtCh1RewR-EAQYBSABEgKwkPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Lifesaver! They loved it. Used it so much we wore out the wheels.

We used one of those trikes that you can push at this stage. They’re much happier. Get a little bell or horn on it for him to play with.

Thanks, he might well like that!

Oh I hate this stage! It's so slow and boring! Gone are the lovely walks at a decent clip.... Replaced by stopping every 2 feet to try and eat stones, or looking for puddles, or trying to eat things off the ground...

It is a fairly quick stage (ime) but you do kinda have to just go with it. Puddle suits. Plan an hour to go to the postbox. Let him hold something as he walks. A back carrier is often accepted when a pram isn't.

Don't despair, it gets good again! And keep trying. By 3.5 both my kids would walk decent distances at a decent pace. And by 5 mine could stomp along on a proper hike, so don't give up!

Thanks, I’m not really bothered about going to the postbox etc. I just mean I’m genuinely a bit stumped as to what to do with him. Sounds stupid, but I really don’t know how to keep him entertained without killing himself.

Have you got any wide open spaced parks near you? I’d just take him somewhere like that and just let him run around, maybe bring a ball and just follow him around so he gets the joy of exploring without too much risk. Otherwise maybe playground that have fences so you can follow him round in a contained environment

@Lambsandchicks

Thanks, I’m not really bothered about going to the postbox etc. I just mean I’m genuinely a bit stumped as to what to do with him. Sounds stupid, but I really don’t know how to keep him entertained without killing himself.

As in, activities away from being solely outside? Well, I go to two separate toddler groups on my days off with DS. They’re both in local churches - stacks of toys and crafts, usually a patch of outdoor space and some more structured time for songs or a story and a snack. Takes care of a whole morning for £2. A lot of people on mumsnet seem to hate them, but I think they can be absolute great.

Thanks, will definitely try that and try to stop him making for the river / pond / car park / dog / etc

I seriously didn’t ever think there were so many hazards in the world, but there are indeed.

I love toddler groups, there’s tonnes on during the week, absolutely loads. At weekends there’s nothing feeling a bit crap as the time I do spend with him seems to upset him.

Try looking at it through his eyes. Would you like to sit in a seat and be pushed for a couple of hours.
You've seen trees and leaves and twigs a million times and don't need to touch or hold them.
He has only seen these things a few times in comparison to you. There are many shapes and sights that he hasn't seen so wants to touch or explore them.
It's brilliant he dislikes doing nothing for a while, not for you but for his development.
Unfortunately that age is full of distraction and getting no where fast.
It does get easier but takes a good year or so before you don't feel like your herding cats.

Oh don't feel bad. I know this is normal for all toddlers but some are definitely more persistent than others and it sounds like you have one of those! I had one too and it does pass. I found soft play a good distraction for an hour at weekends as however grim it was for me, he enjoyed it.

Canned, but where have I said that I mind him looking at twigs? I don’t mean that snappily, please don’t take it that way, but that isn’t what he does.he mostly tries to gravitate towards something unsafe. I’m trying to think of something totally okay but everywhere I try, he seems to find something, even if it’s only a car park.

We are in this stage too! I've found a few things helpful

Trike with handle.. ds loves it so great for when I want to go for a walk at my own pace, or pop to shops/run errands

If we do use the buggy ds likes to stand on the back and be pushed rather than sit in. So maybe try a buggy board. He thinks it's hillareous.

Play park .. up and down the slides, climbing and mini climbing frames, etc

Toddler walk in open space.. somewhere it won't matter for the most park where they want to explore and I just accept we may just walk up and down the same mini hill
for the entire walk. If there are puddles that's an added bonus

Farm/animal park.. something where there is something else interesting to see if you walk ahead

If you have a garden, any type of water play

I find my ds is much happier outside. Inside days for us are much more of a struggle

@Lambsandchicks

Thanks - he is lovely and it’s reassuring it’s normal. Does anyone have any good ideas of things we can do? It would be nice to enjoy the good weather, he does enjoy soft play but it’s so nice outside. We tried a lovely walk yesterday but he just kept wanting to walk in the river and having tantrums where steered away!

Any large museums near you? I know it’s inside We used to take kids to London museums like science museum, or any museum . The reason is that if kids (or adults) are not allowed to touch than things behind barriers, glass etc. if they can touch then it’s available, walking rout3s are usually fairly clear and again limited. I found it was brilliant with my little obscounder who’d be off at a moments notice.

Many NT or EH are similar. There aren’t cars about in the gardens so don’t have to worry . Generally again if there’s areas that are dangerous they’re usually cordoned off. Ok, you get the odd officious NT volunteer who wants to lecture you about dc picking up gravel form the path and throw it down agian, but they’re mostly an idiotic exception .

@Lambsandchicks

I love toddler groups, there’s tonnes on during the week, absolutely loads. At weekends there’s nothing feeling a bit crap as the time I do spend with him seems to upset him.

Oh lovely, it’s honestly not you. It’s definitely an age thing. They are nothing more than sickeningly cute little balls of energy, anger and frustration at circa 1.5! My DS is already getting easier at nearly 2 and I distinctly remember a step change in my older 2 nephews and niece at about 2.5. You are your DS’ safe space and you make things better, which is why you get the brunt of it his frustration - to him, not being allowed to fall face first in a stream or be eaten by a dog is completely unreasonable! I second the book @CheshireSplat recommended.

As an aside, I also find weekends more difficult! DH and I seem to be tripping over ourselves, routine tends to slip, DS becomes more discombobulated and for some reason getting out the house seems harder! So you aren’t alone with that one x

Thank you, definitely find routine slips at weekend! I do take him places but yesterday (that was NT) he just kept running back to the car park! Relieved it’s not just me, though.

Museums are a good idea though, thanks. We aren’t near London but I think there’s a few things on at Easter.

Totally agree with all these answers and they've also given me some reassurance. My niece from about 17 months has always just trotted alongside her mum and dad but my little boy, just turned 18 months, just dawdles, wants to looks at every single little thing and it takes us about 40 minutes to get to the park which is about a 300 metre walk 🙈 I was worrying myself it wasn't normal (I suffer with anxiety so worry about literally every tiny thing 🤦‍♀️)
He went through the pushchair hating phase too but it over it now. I've got him a push along trike which he absolutely loves!