My partner left last week, I'm 30+2 and at a total loss.
For some background: He has 2 daughters from a previous relationship, one who is 8, is lovely most of the time. He's has to go to the school recently as she's having problems with being possessive over another child. She's an intense character but lovely, but gets angry and has meltdowns if there's attention on her younger sister.
Last week she spat on my teenage son and not for the first time. The first time I was a little bit in shock as to the lack of discipline/consequences that happened but I was so tired with pregnancy I let it go.
This time he sent her to bed and said they'd speak about it the next day. After she was sent to bed he was sitting there seething and admitted that because his daughter had done wrong, he was feeling very defensive and therefore wanted to go on the attack. I spent about an hour calming him down and also explaining that kids mess up that's what happens, mine have too. You just have to try and teach them not to do it again. He was sitting there angry with me just because I was there and admitted that this was strange behaviour. I simply said he needs to just accept she's messed up and we will deal with it in the morning.
He eventually calmed down we went to bed. This was Sunday night.
Monday they had an inset day and the daughter woke up upset and needed a lot of comfort, naturally. This in turn ignited more defensive behaviour in my fiancé as he couldn't bring himself to feel like she had done anything wrong. He took her out for treats most of the day!
When they came back I said it's not fair on my son to come home to be spat on and as we have a baby on the way and his daughter has a problem with attention, this really needs to be addressed asap as the baby is going to need more attention than the rest of our children. We got in to an argument and he slept on the sofa.
The next day he's packed an overnight bag and wouldn't take my son to school (we only have one car). Finally agreed to after I shouted at him for giving us 5 minutes notice, then refused for me to get in the car too. (I wasn't leaving my son alone in the car with them). Then agreed to take me too but I'd have to find my own way home (it's about a 20 minute drive in a rural area but there are buses).
He took me home and said he'd pick up his things in the week. (This was Tuesday).
On Thursday I had a routine midwife appointment and due to my heart rate there she sent me up to hospital to be monitored to ensure baby wasnt also in distress. I battled with whether to message him to let him know and so I did. No response. Instead my landlady text me to say she's been informed that he's moved out and asked me if I intend to stay.
His mum has text to say he's picking up his things this Wednesday or Thursday.
And that's my week. In my weak moments I've been thinking I shouldn't have had such a go at him for his daughter spitting etc as my son is a teenager and he can deal with it better sort of thing but then i think no why should he. Plus I think he might be able to deal with it but with a baby on the way that's not acceptable behaviour.
Regardless, she's only 8 and kids mess up all the time, it's his dealing with it that's not right, rewarding her will just mean she will do this again and that's not fair.
Sorry for the rant I just can't believe he's gone from one argument to taking his name off the letting agreement in 2 days - it's so reactionary. No cooling off period, no thinking, just a quick knee jerk reaction to ending it. And as all my friends can't make sense of it either and the question keeps getting asked - nope we weren't arguing outside of this we were all over each other all the time. And no he's not freaked out by pregnancy he's one of the few guys I know that absolutely loves babies and would have so many if finances allowed. Which is why it's such a shock and so hurtful he's gone to this extreme so quick.
I'm hurt and feel so alone and I don't know what to make of all this. I sometimes feel like if I hadn't said anything he'd still be with me 😢 which I know is wrong too as I'd be just walking on eggshells. Totally lost.