Autistic traits

[Peapodpanda]

My sons teacher has told me this week that my 5 year old displays autistic traits.

He has an eating disorder which is often diagnosed in those with Autism, but not always. I’ve never had real concerns about autism. It has crossed my mind, mainly because of his eating disorder and because he enjoys adult company over other children and I did mention it to a teacher at his old school who said they’d observe him. She left before anything else was mentioned. He’s only been in his new school for a about 6 weeks and they have picked up on it. I’ve listed a few reasons below..

He prefers adult company

Struggles to engage with others his age

Needs a lot of reassurance that he’s doing the right thing (if teacher tells him to move to a new seat for an activity, he has to ask her a time or two that’s it’s okay for him to be in the new seat, even though it’s her who asked him to move)

He is literal about things e.g that sign says under 4’s only and I’m 5 so I can’t be there (despite friends playing there)

He struggles with interacting with others. He wants to play with the other kids but doesn’t know how. He will have an idea for a game but Instead of approaching kids to play, he will say to the teacher ‘I want to play this game...’ they have to then bridge the gap and talk him through how to put the thought into action

He is bright, reads well, has a great memory.

He was non-verbal until around 3y but he was 4 before others could understand him.

He isn’t very appropriate with strangers, he will talk to anyone. He stopped now because I told
him to but he used to walk up to strangers and say ‘hello, I don’t know your name..’

He is one for rules. He wants to play his game, his way. He doesn’t find it easy to compromise once he has an idea in his head.

Now the teacher has mentioned autism to me, I am looking at him a bit differently.. I see all of his characteristics and I’m thinking ‘Ohhh.. I see it’

The school are going to monitor him, keep records so that they have evidence in case they feel he needs assessing at a later date.

I guess I just want to know if it sounds like Autism to you? Would it be high functioning autism? What is the referral/diagnosis process like? I’m a bit clueless.

Thanks in advance

I would say yes, doesn't sound like he's sitting in the middle of the curve for behavioural traits for a 5yr old.

Yes sounds very typical, fantastic that the school have picked it up so quickly, mine wasn't picked up till nearly secondary school. Be sure to keep a note of all the things you have mentioned here, it will help with assessment. I would get in touch with your GP and start the ball rolling with diagnosis - it could be years before he gets a referral. While he might be coping fine now it is likely to become more and more obvious - and possibly more difficult for him - once he gets to secondary school age.

Thanks Gowithme. I will start documenting things. I left a message with the GP on Friday so I expect she will get in touch soon. It’s just all a bit daunting and quite unexpected. The teacher at his last school didn’t seem to have considered it herself but said she’d keep an eye once I mentioned it. I didn’t expect it. Can you tell me what the referral/diagnosis process looks like?

My sister has Asperger’s and the traits you have listed sound very similar to some of hers. The rigidity of following rules, the literal way he takes things and the difficult in playing with peers especially. It’s great that you’ll get a diagnosis whilst he’s still young. My sister hid hers well (girls are much harder to diagnose apparently as they are better at acting and copying ‘normal’ behaviour) and wasn’t diagnosed until her teens. I think the delay made her school life a lot harder so it’s a big positive that he’ll get support sooner. Good luck with it all x

Everything GoWithMe said.

Sounds similar in many ways to my DC who has a diagnosis. They don’t diagnose high functioning anymore because it often led to people thinking those children didn’t need support. We had a private diagnosis over Zoom as it was lockdown. It involved me talking to a Paediatrician for 2 hours, then a Clinical Psychologist for 2 hours. Then the Clinical Psychologist had a zoom session with DC and then a SALT had a zoom session with DC and spoke to me for maybe an hour. So it was very involved, I also filled in loads and loads of forms. School filled in forms too and spoke to the Clinical Psychologist. Some of the stuff on the forms I said no to and then in the next few days realised that DC does do those things so had to go back to tell them. The process made me see things very differently. GP said it would be at least 2 years wait on the NHS hence going private.

Thanks all, I appreciate you taking the time to reply

Have a look at this OP - its a really good comic book explanation of autism.

themighty.com/2016/05/rebecca-burgess-comic-redesigns-the-autism-spectrum/

My son was diagnosed at age 5 - he is 12 now. Being diagnosed has been really positive for him. The help and understanding he received as a result means he is very happy now and doing well in school. He still has some issues he needs help with though.

Thanks Supersleepybaby. That’s really helpful

It's wonderful that your son's school is on the ball about this. Ours was insistent that there were no problems despite almost all the things in your op being the case, because DS wasn't falling behind academically so they didn't really care that he was struggling in other ways. I ended up self-referring when he was in y5 and when the school had to complete the questionnaires and answered 'yes' to all the questions about these kinds of issues they finally clicked that they needed to pay attention but it would have been so much better if the process had started sooner.

Nb. No there's nothing "wrong" with being autistic and nothing "wrong" with your child. He has a different way of interacting with the world that sometimes needs additional support or a different kind of accommodation. That's not "wrong"

Avoid terms like "high functioning" which refers mainly to whether the neurotypical world can get away with lesser adaptations and accommodations and care less about a person's needs, rather than being based on a real assessment of a person's needs. Someone can appear to be very "high functioning" at a cost of severe distress and trauma to themselves which they become adept at hiding.

It does sound like it, yes. If you are considering assessment, get the ball rolling now. We waited and I regret it.

@Peapodpanda I know this is an old thread but just wondering how your DS is getting on now and if you got a diagnosis in the end? Sounds similar to my DS who I am considering getting a second opinion for.
Thanks for reading and happy new year

Hello,

HNY to you too :)

Yes, my boy got his diagnosis in September this year. We were referred to the local neurodiverse team and was on a three year waiting list but they outsourced to a private company to shorten their waitlist - so we were lucky to get a private assessment through the NHS. They strongly recommended an ADHD assessment too so we’re just waiting for that now.

The process was straightforwards and though ultimately it doesn’t change much, I am happy he has his diagnosis.

@Peapodpanda thank you for responding. Glad you got answers for you and your DS :)