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Original poster

My dd doesn't feel safe in class

15 replies

sophienelisse · 25/03/2022 21:56

My dd has tonight she doesn't feel safe in class.

There is a boy in her class who hits, kicks, throws chairs if he doesn't get his own way.

This is the first time she's mentioned it. About not feeling safe. I'm aware of this boy, she's made comments before about him fighting with other boys but she's never said she doesn't feel safe.

She has said tonight:

The teacher can't control him.

He hits people next to him.

She sits directly behind him and finds it scary.

The teacher has left them in class twice this week crying and saying she can't cope.

My daughter is 8

I don't know what to do next?

OP posts:
Throughabushbackwards · 25/03/2022 22:02

Sorry that your daughter is going through this. There's a thread on this topic here from a short while ago that might be helpful to you Thanks

What can realistically be done with violent kids in classroom? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4459664-What-can-realistically-be-done-with-violent-kids-in-classroom

dontyoubother · 25/03/2022 22:10

Complain to the school, straight to the head. Take it further if needs be. Often pester power from parents gets the support in place- for your DD, the child involved and the teacher. Complain complain complain. Say she doesn't feel safe, those are powerful words. Hope your DD is ok.

carefullycourageous · 25/03/2022 22:13

Agree you email the head directly and demand this is addressed.

I would be tempted to go in and speak to the head in person but you must follow everything up in writing.

Smartiepants79 · 25/03/2022 22:13

@dontyoubother

Complain to the school, straight to the head. Take it further if needs be. Often pester power from parents gets the support in place- for your DD, the child involved and the teacher. Complain complain complain. Say she doesn't feel safe, those are powerful words. Hope your DD is ok.
I’ve been in the same scenario as this class teacher and I agree with this. That teacher is drowning. Start making a fuss and something might be done to help them all.
Houseplantmad · 25/03/2022 22:15

They are not safeguarding your daughter. Say that to the Head.

mummywithtwokidsplusdog · 25/03/2022 22:17

Please do raise this with the headteacher. A lovely friend of mine was a primary teacher in a similar situation and the school constantly refused to give her any support. She couldn’t believe the kids didn’t say anything at home and really wished they would as parental concerns would have helped. The boy used to bite her (she was sent on a training course about how to cope with having a biter- no open toe sandals etc was the suggestion…) He also used to physically hurt the other kids so they were frightened of him and so on edge they couldn’t relax and enjoy their learning. In the end she left teaching as the boy was so out of control she had a break down - and the school just said she had poor mental health rather than address the issue. Please advocate for your daughter x

LittleOwl153 · 25/03/2022 22:27

The teacher walking out of the class whilst the kid was being violent leaving a class of 8 year olds to deal with that is absolutely not on.

Definitely complain. Do it now by email. Explain that your daughter is terrified, she does not feel safe in class ask about their safeguarding policy. Ask which adult was left in the room to support the other 29 kids with the violent one and what training they have to deal with it.

My ds is the same age and has a kid in his class who is a nightmare. He is going through a SEN process and will inexpect come out with a diagnosis - but in the meantime he was hitting and biting other kids in class and mainly at breaks. School then decided to isolate this kid with 1 other kid during these times... they left my ds to deal with him 1 to 1 in a classroom with no teacher.... it did not end well. But my son came out with a sticker at the end of the week because he had helped look after said child - it went well with the bruises. I wasn't aware until 4 days in that this was happening- day 5 they 'found' and adult. That was a few weeks ago. My son came home tonight and said this child will be back in class for 1 hour a day next week... I'm watching ( and my ds knows it!)

Duracellbunnywannabe · 26/03/2022 10:24

I’m not surprised your daughter feels like way. You need to make an appointment with the headteacher and ask her how she is going to ensure your child is both safe in class and feels safe.

Sswhinesthebest · 26/03/2022 10:27

Put your concerns in writing. As for a response in writing. They’ll be very careful what they put in writing!
Keep a paper trail.
Be polite but insistent that your child is safeguarded.

How will she feel if she is moved class, rather than them moving the violent child?

SeekingBalance · 26/03/2022 10:38

Head and copy to the governors. The school are letting your daughter down, the boy in question and also the teacher.

BluebellsGreenbells · 26/03/2022 10:42

Please don’t blame the teacher, they may have no support to help deal with this child.
The more people complain the more weight the school has to ask for extra help and the boy help with his issues.

Doing nothing serves nobody.

Dontcallmebabylalala · 26/03/2022 10:47

This is often how “inclusion” word these days, although it looks like failing all of the involved: the teacher, the boy and all the rest of the children.

Dontcallmebabylalala · 26/03/2022 10:47

Works*

EV117 · 26/03/2022 10:49

The teacher needs support, this isn’t ok. I work in a school where these kind of behaviour needs are common but incidents like this are dealt with quickly and confidently - senior leadership are quick to support with any violent or intimidating behaviour. If I had a child throwing a chair they would be immediately removed from the class, a consequence given which may possibly be an internal exclusion - so a day sat with the head teacher in his office. The children should feel safe and the teacher should be able to teach. I feel for your daughter but I also feel like the teacher is being left in the lurch here.

Original poster
sophienelisse · 26/03/2022 21:08

Thank you for all of these responses they are all so helpful.

I am going to email tonight and also speak to her teacher. We have parents evening next week so ideal opportunity to raise it with her teacher and also let her know it's not me blaming anyone.

It does sound like she needs extra support.

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