Help! My baby doesn’t play

[Orangepen13]

So, my first real pang of mum guilt!

I’m not sure I’ve helped my almost 5mo play independently, and worry this has slowed down her development of things like rolling, reaching, holding, sitting etc. She doesn’t reach for anything at all, she’ll only hold things if you put it in her hands. and I’ve noticed she seems to be quite slouched if we sit up. She’s nowhere near rolling!

The main problem is she never wants to be put down. I manage a good 10 mins first thing in the morning where she lies in her cot with her Lamaze toy. Then the rest of the day is her needing to be with me or on me all day.

I have a small mat and a separate gym which has toys and scarves attached to it. I also have lots of sensory items like rattles, feathers, black and white picture book etc. I try to lie her on the mat under the gym with some other toys… she likes the scarves but never actually reaches for things or grabs. And she’ll cry if she’s there for more than a few minutes. Tried a jumperoo and bumbo also but they don’t seem to last any longer.

She also HATES tummy time… I’ve tried a special mat, putting rolled up blankets under her, using a mirror, putting toys out front. I always get down with her as well. Nothing helps her tolerate for more than a few minutes.

We go to lots of groups and classes and she will go on her tummy a bit to look at the other babies, but not for long. Mostly play is singing nursery rhymes, practicing standing or sitting with me, and me showing her her toys. She’ll also do tummy time by being carried, but again that’s not helping her develop her own skills.

Should she be reaching and grabbing at this stage? Is there anything I can do to help her play a bit more independently? I feel like maybe I haven’t bought her enough toys or a big enough mat?

She's 5mo, she doing exactly what 5mo do. They generally don't like being on their tummies until they can roll, they don't really play, they can't concentrate on anything for more than about 2 minutes.

I've got two and found the 4mo - being mobile (by crawling for my kids) to be a bit of a slog tbh.

It's so lovely how much you obviously love and care for your daughter, I was really touched by your post because your love for her really shines out. But in the nicest possible way you're overthinking. She just loves being with you, and why not, she's tiny. Everything else will come in time x

My three year old plays for about 2 minutes before coming to find me, shouting for me, or getting bored and looking for something nice and destructive to do

5mo do not need to play independently

Yeah she’s fine, you’re fine! If her favourite thing is you, you’re doing it right. Get out and about doing stuff that you enjoy, and chat to her about it as you go. She’ll be a toddler bombing around the place soon enough.

Meh, this is all totally normal! Pack your mum guilt away. My two HATED tummy time, they're 6 and 3 and it never caused any harm at all. Five months old is tiny, your baby won't 'play' yet they have attention spans of gnats and are still totally needs driven (food, cuddles, warmth etc).

Stop worrying and enjoy your baby!

All normal. Enjoy your baby at her own pace. You’re doing great!

I think you’re expecting too much of both yourself and your DD. You are both doing grand, so carry on as you are but relax your mind and just enjoy the time with your baby. It’s not a race and she will progress in her own time.

It just takes time. Sound like she gets a bit bored but they're not great with hand eye coordination at that age so can get a bit frustrated with toys and then want your comfort.

Ours was a bit slow to play with toys, now 7mth and really enjoying grabbing toys and chewing on them. She still hates tummy time! But she has rolled from her back to front, only when I'm not looking though. She's not a clingy baby and quite happy to sit in her chair or cot and always has been.

Also if you want to encourage tummy time in a way she might like, sit on the sofa leaning right back with her on her tummy against yours and let her lift herself when she wants to. Exactly the same 'workout' for them without the upset of them not enjoying it, they're getting a cuddle from mum so they like that better, I've found.

She is completely normal :) Tummy time is only meant to be for a few minutes precisely because they get bored/frustrated. We used to do it at nappy changes so it was little and often.

My 2 yea old doesn’t play still really, either independently or with us. He spends most of his day outside

Blimey, she's five months old! Relax, she'll get there.

She sounds totally normal to me!

Thank you so much! It’s so hard as a first time parent to know if you’re doing enough, thank you all for your reassurance ☺️☺️☺️

@Orangepen13 You’re doing great hold her if she wants to be held tummy time little and often was the way forward for us! She honestly doesn’t need lots and lots of toys. My DSs favourite things around that age were a foil blanket that he could crinkle, the Fischer price kick & play piano, and a water mat from Amazon that he started to enjoy tummy time using. We had LOADS of other toys at that age and all the rest barely got looked at 🤣

My DS wanted to be held about 90% of the day at that age (including for sleep 😴😅), so I held him 🤷🏻‍♀️ They’re only tiny for a very very very short time so enjoy all the cuddles while you can get them 😊 my DS was later to roll, commando crawled for months rather than “proper” crawling, and I was a bit worried about him compared to what other babies in our baby groups etc but he walked at 10.5months and was the first one in the group to do so 😊 they all do everything in their own time 😊

Chill, she's 5 months old! The world is still a pretty new place for her and, being kind, it sounds like she's being bombarded! Is it possible she's overestimulated?

Most 5 month old babies do not have the strength or stamina for a bamboo or jumperoo, does she meet the "requirements"? If not, is she uncomfortable?

A couple of minutes a time on her tummy when she isn't full of milk and when she's not too hungry either is fine to help her build her strength. As for reaching and grabbing you can encourage her to do that by giving just one or two things to focus on.

Otherwise, just calm down. She's fine and so are you.

I feel exhausted reading this.

She can play independently as she is playing alone for 10 minutes in the morning. That's enough.

You are trying to get her to do too much and play with too many toys.

If you want her to play with something else then choose one thing like a baby gym. Then put her under it with exactly the same toys for both tummy time and on her back for small periods of time. You may find like I did with my DD that she hates being on her tummy but will happy stay on her back under the baby gym especially if she can grab the toys.

Shs sounds completely normal. There is really no problem here.
Enjoy the fact she wants to be held all the time, before you know it she'll be crawling, walking & running and you'll wish she'd sit still for a minute.

Sounds normal to me. Mine's 6 now and at 5 months she was basically chilling at home with me. I took her to lots of classes through the week at the community centre and then not much else, just at home. I was tired, and just getting into the routine, like you are, and she is now thriving.