Am I a bad mum?

[dg93]

I need honest answers, is this normal or am I a bad mum?

I have an almost 7 week old little girl who I love more than anything. And spending all day with her on maternity leave is lovely.... but the second my partner gets home from a 10-12 hour work day I get so excited for him to take her for the evening!

I'm always around, but I choose to do the cleaning and wash up bottles, do the laundry etc instead of looking after her.

I just find it so overwhelming and I can't decide if this is normal or not, and it's starting to panic me!!

I am exactly the same with my 9 week old.
It must be normal, we all need a break! It's hard work looking after a little dependent human - you are not a bad parent

I should say, I do the night time feeds and look after her during the day - she has reflux so it's so overwhelming and I just feel like I'm a bad mum for leaving her with him for 5 ish hours every night whilst I do the chores that probably don't even need doing as often as I'm doing them !

It's normal - panic not.

I am a retired social worker and know what real bad parenting is!

I am glad that you are enjoying your little one during the daytimes. Needing a change of activity when OH gets home is not a crime!

No, you sound completely normal!

No, of course you're not a bad mum, and it's great that your partner is so involved in caring for your baby.
Someone has to do the cleaning and the laundry, after all.

Sounds completely normal to me. Mine are 30 and 32 now, we are very close but I was always grateful when ex-h came home and took over for a bit.

Completely normal and natural- you have only just become a mum- and you would be there in a heartbeat if she needed you. You're doing brilliantly and it's good that you want a little independence- newborn babies are incredibly hard work. It's also important for your dh to have that time to bond with her x x

I used to practically throw DD at DH when he got home from work when I was on mat leave! And I disappeared off to do chores - the peace and quiet and not holding a baby while she screamed at me was so nice.

Plus I think it’s nice to have your partner spend some time with the baby one on one.

6 week here and exactly the same. In fact my partner is doing all the night feeds apart from 1] nights a week when he is away with with milk I've expressed. I feel guilt too but we are with them all day. It is intense and also I need to get stuff done.

Completely normal :) congratulations on your baby, you sound like a lovely mum

Are you kidding? Everyone needs a break. It doesn’t matter who it’s from. You’ll burn out pretty fast if you are constantly with your kid, lovely though she no doubt is.

Whenever I got a text from DH warning he was going to be late, I’d be close to tears

You've all made me feel so much better, I was fully prepared to ask the HV about it tomorrow, but I know now that it's normal thankfully!!

DH once got home from work, having stopped at the supermarket on the way, only to realise he’d forgotten something we needed. ‘I’ll go back’ he said.

‘NO ITS MY TURN YOU’VE HAD YOUR TURN’ I yelled and I threw dd at him and sprinted past, grabbing my car keys. I made sure to have a good long browse round the local coop and I drove the long way home for good measure.

All of which to say that yes, it’s very normal.

Why is everyone doing chores every night? I know they need to be done but when I chuck my 7 week old at my DH I'm having a nap or a bath!

Still do it with my 2yr old 😬. Babies and toddlers are hard work, I think it’s completely normal.

Good grief no! I've been desperate to go back to work since our baby was 5/6 months old (to the point where I even rang the nursery to see if they could take her earlier than planned...they can't)! Perfectly normal to need your own time and space. Plus it helps them gain independence and confidence with other people. We don't need to be martyrs as mums so make sure your needs are fulfilled as well as your baby's. Happy mum = happy baby!