Talking too my mother today and she said that I’m letting my 2 year old have too much power/ too much of a say in things. I’ll admit she’s in that age where she’s very opinionated and very stubborn and will have complete meltdowns and whilst she does calm down it takes a while and it’s not particularly conducive to getting things done.
There are a few categories this falls into:
Clothes: we let her chose what she wants to wear and most of the time what we buy from the clothes shops. So by choice, they are all clean, fit and are weather appropriate. Most of the time she picks a set, we tend to buy mainly multi packs or easily swappable pieces, but then if we want to go out she doesn’t always pick a coat and hat that matches but I’ve just gone by the principle in her little world she doesn’t have a lot of control and this is just her showing her personality and style, even if she doesn’t look like a chic Insta baby. We let her chose her clothes ie we’re going to buy shorts and t shirts and there are 3 choices in the shop and she gets to pick 1. She tends to like leggings/ shorts and t shirts for summer, she doesn’t really like dresses and will usually have a melt down if you try and put her in one, except she picked one out yesterday. Sometimes she likes to choose our clothes too, she likes to make us all matching. So my mum said it’s pandering to her and she’ll think she’s more important than she actually is, and that she should get used to wearing dresses because ‘I say so’. I’m just doubting myself a bit because, as long as it’s weather appropriate , clean and fits then what’s the big deal? She loves bright colours, unicorn prints, dinosaur and animal prints anything with those on she loves, which It’s not my personal taste but does it really matter? Felt like it’s picking my battles because if you put her in something she doesn’t like she has a tantrum and gets unchanged and it drags things on if you’re getting out of the house.
Her baby brother - she loves picking out his clothes, we did that as a way of combatting jealousy and making her feel involved. She insists he sits next to her in his newborn highchair thingy. She likes to pick out the activities they too.
Food- we tend to give 2 choices for snacks and she gets to pick one (ie. would you like apple and yoghurt or cheese and crackers?) we also let her eat what she pleases at meals, keeping the pressure off. Mum thinks she should clear her plate, not doubting myself as much about this one. All her meals are home cooked unless we’re eating out (obviously) and she gets offered a wide range of food.
Out and about- she choses the directions we walk in, which park to go to etc
Days out - again choice of 2 things (go to the farm or to the library?)
Is this too much power for a 2.5 year old. Am I too lax? I guess the clothes and her brother and out and about are the ones that have made me second guess myself.
We obviously have non negotiables like brushing teeth, baths (dh and i take turns with her and the baby in the bath anyway), no juice no sweets (gummy or candy style sweets, chocolate is ok l) kind hands and appropriate bedtimes but the rest seems like not really too much or a big deal.