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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you read every night?

23 replies

Megalala · 22/03/2022 15:08

Do you read a book to baby every night? We have a one year old and read books through the day.

We don't read at bedtime, she is so tired by then that she just wants to sleep. My mum is horrified and says even if she is asleep we should still be reading to her at night.

Are we abnormal?

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princessbananahammock252 · 22/03/2022 15:13

You're not abnormal; I am sure you have better things to do whilst she is asleep!

With my DD, we read to her most nights (still do at 4.5). It always worked. With my DS, who is almost 14 months, we didn't until very recently. He doesn't sit still. Keeps shutting the book close. Runs around everywhere. Obviously we try during the day, but at bedtime it was a no go. He is only just starting to bring books to us to read, and is starting to enjoy them. We are following his lead for now. He sees us reading to his sister all the time, so he knows it happens. And nursery read to him all the time too. So we are not worried.

T0rt0ise · 22/03/2022 15:15

We read during the day and every night but I wouldn't read to a child that's already asleep, that's just odd. That doesn't mean you should read every evening, we do because it's part of our bed time routine but as long as you're reading with them regularly it doesn't matter when.

edin16 · 22/03/2022 15:23

We do but it's part of the bed time routine. We have a couple of books with milk and supper, then a final book in his bedroom before he does in his cot. He's a little older than yours now but we've kept the same routine for a while, with just changing the milk/supper part. We also read a lot during the day. Currently at an age where he selects the same book to read about 20 times a day!

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Keepitonthedownlow · 22/03/2022 15:25

My DD is 5 and I've only just started reading to her!

AliasGrape · 22/03/2022 15:28

We read books every day. My DD (19 months) loves books and will look at them independently as well as enjoying looking at them with us. But we don’t read before bed. I used to try when she was smaller but she’d just scream for milk/ cuddles and so we’ve developed a different bedtime routine. I think if I added a book in now shed think it was playtime. We do often read a couple first thing in the morning when I’m not quite ready to get up and she gets in with me!

I don’t think books are somehow more valuable because they’re read at bedtime - as long as you’re reading with them every day.

bumbledeedum · 22/03/2022 15:30

That's hilarious. What's the benefit of reading to a sleep child? Especially a one year old.

GlisteningGoldGrasses · 22/03/2022 15:30

I didn't when they were that age, I had a basket of board books and it was an activity we'd do in the day when they were alert enough to pay attention. Reading to a sleeping child wouldn't make any sense, what would they be learning? One of mine didn't like bedtime stories she had music and still does now she's older, the other likes a few bedtime stories aged 4 but went to sleep too quick for it when they were younger. It varies with ages and child's personality there's no need to worry, just read when you and baby feel like it.

AliasGrape · 22/03/2022 15:31

Although I do sing nursery rhymes as we’re getting ready for bed, I’d argue that’s just as important (though again can be at any time of day -just works for us then).

notacooldad · 22/03/2022 15:33

Me or Dh read to the kids up to the age of about 8.
It fell away naturally and they then picked their own books to read for 25 mins before lights out.

EmpressCixi · 22/03/2022 15:33

At that age bedtime was bath, nursing and songs.
We added in reading a story when they were 2.

So long as some reading is done every day as a baby, it doesn’t matter when.

Original poster

Megalala · 22/03/2022 16:09

This is my argument, reading whilst she's asleep makes no sense. Also she likes her own space at night so I think it would just annoy her.

We have a lovely bedtime routine and agree that adding a book might confuse her. We read all the time and do all of the 'that's not my' books. We sing and talk to her all day so I think my mums of worry of stunting her communication is ridiculous.

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LadyCatStark · 22/03/2022 16:11

I did but not if he had a late night and was asleep that makes no sense! It’s a nice routine to have though for when they’re older and there’s less time in the day. I read to DS til he was about 10 years old!

Sally872 · 22/03/2022 16:14

I read to my toddlers at bedtime because it helped them wind down and was part if their routine. If they are reading at other times and don't need it at bedtime why on earth does it matter?

Your mum needs to get s grip. If that is her criticism of your parenting then I would take that as a huge compliment.

Harrysmummy246 · 22/03/2022 17:06

@Megalala

Do you read a book to baby every night? We have a one year old and read books through the day.

We don't read at bedtime, she is so tired by then that she just wants to sleep. My mum is horrified and says even if she is asleep we should still be reading to her at night.

Are we abnormal?

If child clearly exhausted, there is no point, it's not a quality experience.

But now, we do, DS is 4YO and we read together every night as part of his routine

ThatsNotItAtAll · 22/03/2022 17:29

Your mum is being odd. My mum was the same - there was a lot of virtue signalling and criticism around books and reading which actually stemmed from insecurity she'll never admit to (she's a "you can never have enough books" person who holds the physical objects sacred but actually has books nobody has read in her home - as a bored teen I was the first and only person ever to read my parents untouched hardback copies of not only 'The Rainbow' and 'Sons and Lovers' but also 'Lord of the Rings', as evidenced by the uncut pages I was the one to separate...My parents didn't really know what they had on their shelves and read magazines and newspapers (which is fair enough but they'd never admit it and my mother especially over compensated by being volubly critical of households with an insufficient number of books on display and unable to conceive of the possibility that people use libraries and pass on books after reading or once outgrown or use e-readers as adults...🙄 ) My mother repeatedly bought me the same children's books when she didn't see them prominently on display and believes any book is a good present for a child even if they already have three copies, don't especially like that type of book and have outgrown that type of book ...

A lot of people are very strange about books in a defensive way.

My mother was similarly aggressively pro breastfeeding in an off putting way - years after my children were weaned she let slip defensively that the reason she'd given up breastfeeding at 3 weeks was xyz - no shame in struggling or having not managed but she'd positioned herself as an earth mother who'd let her children self wean despite the odds against her - she'd obviously forgotten that she'd never told me she'd stopped at 3 weeks, but had rewritten her breastfeeding history to position herself as an expert. Insecurity caused a baffling aggressive attempt to position herself as an expert proponent.

Smile and nod. People telling us to raise our children exactly the way they have rewritten history in their own minds to believe did are infuriating but it usually about them, not you and your baby at all...

Mommabear20 · 22/03/2022 17:43

I read 1 book to DS (8 months) and another to DD (21 months) as they have different bed times, they each have their own story while they have their bed time milk. They've both had a story since the day they came home from hospital.

PennyPenguins · 22/03/2022 20:16

We started reading to DD every night at around 21 months. Definitely before she was 2. When we took the side off the cot.

I'd tried on & off before then. But it was very stimulating for her or she wasn't interested.

Troublesometooth · 22/03/2022 20:18

We don’t read at night. My 3 year old has lots of books during the day. My 5 year olds reads his school reading book to us before going up to bed.

Chely · 22/03/2022 20:39

I used to for them if they asked but a limit of 2 books, they rarely ask me to read now but do read to themselves. Baby is only 7mth so just wants to chew the books atm, she does like to listen too.

pregnantncnc · 23/03/2022 13:31

Reading at bedtime is such a good habit to get into as when children get older you won't be with them to read during the day etc, and it's also nice and calm and a good way to connect... BUT it is not a vital component of anyone's routine, by ANY means.

We do read as part of bedtime routine to DS (2yo), and I think we only started consistently after 12mo when DH wanted to take over with bedtimes a bit (and before that the only bedtime routine we had was breastfeeding... and DH couldn't very well do that). Your mum is being ridiculous to suggest you read to her while she is sleeping!!!

Miriam101 · 23/03/2022 14:45

How weird! Of course it's great that you're reading to her but it doesn't matter when- and it would obviously be completely insane to read to a sleeping child (or even a child who just wanted to be asleep and therefore wasn't taking anything in). I'd chalk this one up to strange grandparental quirks and move on!

shivawn · 23/03/2022 16:28

Yep exact same book every single night to my 5 month as part of his bedtime routine. He pays zero attention to it! When he is older I'll definitely read to him a lot more, can't wait to share all my childhood favourites with him! Sounds like you're doing great - if she's tired and just wants to sleep at bedtime then that can only be a good thing!

Twitterwhooooo · 23/03/2022 16:36

'Abnormal' is a bit extreme!

Of course you're not. Reading at bedtime comes into its own as a calming, bonding activity just before your child goes to sleep.

NOT while they're asleep - that's clearly nuts.

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