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Super shy 3 year old

4 replies

Postcovid · 21/03/2022 20:43

My DS has just turned 3, and he’s so shy to the point he is anti social.

At home he is chatty, cheeky and funny, but he only likes his immediate/very close family, no one else. He goes to nursery two days a week and has developed reasonably ok bonds with a couple of the key workers, but he is still really shy of them, and he doesn’t play with the other children.

He doesn’t like friends we see, nor their kids. Sometimes he does warm up after a while, but any play dates at soft play, the park etc tend to involve him leading me off to play with him away from the people we are on the play date with!

He has an older sister and when he’s with her he’s like a different child, much more confident, and if they have a friend over he’ll try and play with them.

He’s even started shouting “no, don’t talk!” At me when I chat to people on the school run, or at play dates.

I don’t know how to encourage him to be a bit more sociable/friendly? I always try and chat to him afterwards and explain we must be kind. His sister was reserved at 3 so it’s not completely new, but she was never anti social to this extent, and would at least play in smaller/1-2-1 groups, and although she’s not the most popular girl in the class now, she has a small group of good friends and is sociable with unfamiliar kids at the park.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
orangel · 23/03/2022 06:41

Bumping for you as my two year old is very similar!

TabithaHazel · 23/03/2022 06:46

My DS was SO shy aged 3, but between the ages of 4 and 5 he became confident and fairly outgoing. There is nothing we did, it just took him a bit longer than some of his peers to develop. I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage OP. See how he is when he starts school, I’d say my DC didn’t really start playing properly with other kids (as opposed to playing alongside them) until they were around 4.

Juancornetto · 23/03/2022 06:53

My DS is also 3 and very similar, completely different to how DD was but then she had a very different lockdown-free early childhood. I think it's very normal, they change do much from year to year I doubt he'll be completely anti-social forever

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Jamn50 · 23/03/2022 06:54

My DD was like this she didn’t speak to answer the register when she started school for a year! She’s just an introvert. Very chatty and dances etc at homes she’s nearly 16 has a nice group of friends. She’s still an introvert but I let her find her way and do life the way she’s happy. With both my children I’ve been very mindful to understand and not push them to be people there not. I was forced and bullied to be this and that and it’s just made me very insecure and like I’m not good enough. Not saying you are or would do that just saying forcing me was very damaging x

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