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Original poster

Thoughts on reins?

36 replies

Therunawaychild · 20/03/2022 20:56

My son is coming 2 and is becoming a lot harder to manage in public spaces. He seems to have hit terrible 2's with a bang and is frequently trying to do the opposite of everything i say or go in the opposite direction of where we are meant to be going. So my question is do you think reins would help this situation? Currently he is reluctant to hand hold or sit in the buggy and i dont want him strapped in a buggy all the time either but he sees this as play time and frequently tries to run off or just walk in the opposite direction. I get him back of course but this results in a throwing himself on the floor crying tantrum which is something hes just starting but becoming more frequent. I feel so embarassed and as if im a bad parent but im sure and i hope most people have been in the same boat. Im tempted to try reins but i worry he will still not want to go and become even more frustrated resulting in more tantrums and me essentially feeling like im pulling him along the floor. Any ideas on how you helped your child adjust to them?

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SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 20/03/2022 21:02

Reins are great! We had the backpack reins which were even better.
Do what works for you and to hell with other people.
The only thing is it does get easy to 'forget' about teaching them to walk and hold your hand as you can sort of stop trying. Just make an effort to keep working on this as well (along with road safety etc).

RampantIvy · 20/03/2022 21:04

It's a no brainer. Get some reins.

GrazingSheep · 20/03/2022 21:04

We used reins
They’re great!

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livyaz · 20/03/2022 21:07

Used them with both of mine, they were great!

853ax · 20/03/2022 21:08

I've a 5 year old who can run very fast. Living in rural area during COVID not used to cities I think he would need reins when we go on holiday as I'll never be able keep eye when he runs.
Use them for children when toddles great for out walking can even help prevent them falling

DoucheCanoe · 20/03/2022 21:09

My eldest would just dangle on reins so we used a wrist rein whilst walking and held hands crossing roads etc as normal, I wasn't keen but it solved the issue as he didn't feel so restricted.

However I discovered the little life backpack rein with my youngest and she would bring it to me to put on she loved it so much!

Reins were/are a very useful safety tool to give DC a bit of independence whilst making sure you stay close :)

AliceW89 · 20/03/2022 21:09

We don’t use reins. Im not against them at all. I think for a child who can generally walk in the required direction but can’t be trusted not to run off or fall, they are literally life savers. But if you have a DC who has absolutely no desire or understanding of walking in a required direction, reins aren’t going to work, unless you plan on physically dragging them along by them. We use the buggy to go safe places and then DS (same age as yours) is allowed to run free. The reins are being left on ice until he understands that walking is used to go in a set direction to go places.

Cheesechips · 20/03/2022 21:10

Use them if you want. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We have a Little Life toddler backpack which has built in reigns. You can get them for under £15 brand new, I got a used one for £5 on marketplace. Lots of adorable designs too!

Anon778833 · 20/03/2022 21:12

I have a 2 year old and I use them sometimes, especially walking on a pavement. These days you can get really comfortable, padded ones. My daughter is fine with hers.

DramaAlpaca · 20/03/2022 21:12

I had a bolter. Reins were a necessity for my sanity and his safety. He didn't like them much though!

tillyandmilly · 20/03/2022 21:13

I am a twin - in the 70’s we both had reins - they were a godsend with two of us running in different directions!

SparkleSpangle · 20/03/2022 21:14

We got DS a backpack one. He keeps his special toys in it and it's called the big boy bag. He knows he has to hold hand with the big boy bag or it won't stay on and he goes in the pushchair. Works like a dream.

HiKelsey · 20/03/2022 21:15

We use the backpack reins and make it a game. Packing sun hate, dummy and sunglasses in the backpack and her toy phone (so she's like mummy). Then she knows if she's tired she can sit in the pram and for snacks she has to sit in the pram and for crossing roads hands or the pram must be held then she can walk free with her reins next to me

Crazykatie · 20/03/2022 21:16

Reins preferably, minimum wrist strap, eventually they learn to do what you want. There was a 2 yr old boy having a tantrum in the supermarket last week, lay down screaming, mum walked away and left him then waited at the end of the aisle out of sight. When he realized mum wasn’t paying attention he stopped quickly and was reclaimed

Original poster

Therunawaychild · 20/03/2022 21:16

Thank you all for your replies. Similarly i have nothing against reins but i am wondering as @AliceW89 says if he is reluctant to walk in the direction we are all meant to be going in will it just turn into a screaming match on the floor. Where your children hesitant at start or how did you get them used to them? Perhaps i should of started earlier in hindsight. He is a good walker just very mischievous and thinks its always funny to walk or run in the opposite direction

OP posts:

Traumdeuter · 20/03/2022 21:16

I try and cope without whenever I can because I want DS to learn to hold my hand when crossing the road etc, but reins are extremely useful in busy areas, railway stations etc. the ones with a backpack are useful for carrying baby wipes and a snack, too.

BobbinHood · 20/03/2022 21:18

We used backpack reins for about 6 months when DD was 2ish. We walk and take public transport a lot so were walking next to roads every day and she couldn’t be trusted to hold my hand properly and not run off. Once she could be, she stopped needing them.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 20/03/2022 21:19

I used the little backpack reins, the Gruffalo style. There are also ladybird ones, Disney characters, Nemo etc

It helped them accept the harness feature because we bigged up the bag being for them, they can carry whatever they want with them etc, but ultimately both my kids loved the bag but hated seeing me hold the rein handle thing...

The bottom line for me was "Hold mummy's hand or I'll have to pick you up like a baby"
Won't hold hand.
Pick up and carry to car kicking and screaming. Put in car seat. Deep breath.
Explain - we are in a car park/busy road. You had the choice of backpack or holding hands. You didn't want to hold hands.
Mummy is scared you will run off and get hurt.
Next time you have to either hold my hand or let me hold the Gruffalo bag. It's your choice but I have to do one. Or I'll be carrying you like a baby again.

I hate the feeling of being judged but deep (deep deep deep) down you know no one's judging, everyone remembers this phase and it's an absolute ballache.

jackstini · 20/03/2022 21:19

We had the backpack ones and they were great - peace of mind!

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 20/03/2022 21:21

We have had 2 runner dc. They had no sene of danger and reins were essential for safety. With younger DS we had learnt from his older sister. He had a choice: hold my hand or go in the buggy. There was no other choice except reins. He loved the little life backpack and it worked well for us. As he got older and less prone to bolt, we went onto hold the pushchair or go in it. Be firm in your choices but give them the freedom to choose. Be prepared for forcibly strapping them in the pushchair if they refuse. That can be interesting and you need thick skin when it sounds like you are burning them with acid from the noise they will make!!! 😂😂

Shmithecat2 · 20/03/2022 21:22

I think they're great! However, beware - my ds used to go all boneless if he didn't want to wear them 🙄. It was easier for us to keep the pushchair. Luckily, being a lazy little sod, ds didn't mind this at all.

DoucheCanoe · 20/03/2022 21:24

@Traumdeuter I think most people still encourage kids to hold hands and road safety etc with reins on.

ladygindiva · 20/03/2022 21:31

Loved reins, loved them. Had " spirited" ( ie feral) toddler twins and I either would have never taken them out of the pushchair or they would have been run over / lost / worse if I hadn't used them. Thanks to my reins we got out and about for walks lots. And to copy a phrase I heard on mn earlier, I didn't give a rats wank what people thought, I needed them.

Danikm151 · 20/03/2022 21:34

We have reins and for the first time we used the dragon backpack today.
Sometimes my son finds in funny and will dangle to fall to the floor.
We still hold hands when crossing the road. He will get the reins out the pushchair at home and say walk.
He likes to run far so the reins are a lifesaver.

AliceW89 · 20/03/2022 21:36

@Therunawaychild

Thank you all for your replies. Similarly i have nothing against reins but i am wondering as *@AliceW89* says if he is reluctant to walk in the direction we are all meant to be going in will it just turn into a screaming match on the floor. Where your children hesitant at start or how did you get them used to them? Perhaps i should of started earlier in hindsight. He is a good walker just very mischievous and thinks its always funny to walk or run in the opposite direction

I hoped, like you, that reins would be the golden ticket to him walking the way I wanted him to go. He too doesn’t like hand holding and literally goes whatever direction he wants. Sadly, it just didn’t work. I tried a fair few times and we went from a toddler who was relatively okay to go in the buggy and then have a great time at desired location…to a toddler throwing fits on the floor, without the verbal comprehension to understand why he can’t go the direction he wants. We’ve given up on him walking to specific places at the moment, until he is more verbal and can follow instruction +/- be bribed! We still use the reins a couple of times a week so he is used to them in the future - we wait for a bus about 3 times a week on an incredibly busy road and I put them on him then in case he decides to dart.

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