I dont like being away from my baby

[Michlj]

My son is 5 months old. After 6 weeks of no sleep I allowed my MIL to have him on a sunday evening so I could sleep. Once I got my strength back I stopped sunday evenings as his place is with me. Now I cant bare to be without him but my MIL wants time on her own with him. I tried it for 2 hours and me and my biy hated it. Hes not even 6 months yet , I just feel lost without him. He starts Nursery in 4 months as I go back to work but I know he will love being with other children. People make me feel unfair for not 'sharing' him but am I so wrong for wanting to be by his side. We see friends and family we go to classes hes so happy. Why give him to somebody else!

You're not wrong! Keep him close to you.

I've always been like this with my two. I didn't really share them until I was forced to when I went back to work. I know it pissed my mil off but my own mum was understanding of it. So yeah, I get it, I did it. I think you just do what feels right for you.

He's your baby, you need time together and as a family. Hold him close, there's plenty of time for other people at some point in the future. There's no rush at all.

You don't have to give your baby up to please someone else! If you're happy not having the break etc then all is good :)

Thank you to all that replied. Nice to know I'm not alone xx

You don't have to share your baby. I've never understood this thing where grandparents want time with the baby without the parents. I don't see how this is beneficial to the baby. Fair enough if the parents want time without the baby!

You don't have to share him. But be conscious that him going from having you around all the time, straight to nursery will be a tricky transition. Even if he likes other children, it's the fact you aren't there.

There's a healthy middle ground. You want him confident being left to know you'll come back.

I think you need to talk to your mother in law and tell her how you feel. Your choice of words is interesting: you 'allowed' her to look after him so you could sleep.
She probably feels that she was helping out, and might feel a little bit hurt that it's not seen as such. It's quite tricky being a mother in law. We want to help without over stepping. If she's generally a decent person I'm sure she'll understand.

He's still so tiny! The grandparents and whoever else will have plenty time alone with him when he's older, and they can still see him when you're there, so they're not missing out or anything, are they? You're not being unfair at all. It's perfectly natural and normal to not want to be away from him. Have you told your MIL you don't want to be away from him? Just asking because I'm wondering if the 'People make me feel unfair for not 'sharing' him' bit means she's said anything?

Nah, you’re not alone OP. I didn’t like leaving mine at that age either.

I loled at you ‘allowing MIL to have them on Sundays so you could sleep’ she was helping YOU.

You don’t have to continue it if you don’t want though, your say goes, always!

I think grandparents who wasn’t to have baby ‘on their own’ are really weird. It’s a really weird thing to say! My soms (4 and 2) have never slept away from us and don’t want or need to. My daughter has has me a few sleepovers at her nanna’s but this isn’t a regular thing. Keep your baby close until you feel ready to be separated from him. That’s the way nature intended it to be. Sounds like you’re a lovely mum.

Apologies for above typos. My phone is in need of replacing!

You’re lucky you had help when you wanted it. You obviously trust her? Hopefully you’re still seeing her and having time all together.

But if you want to have him all the time now that’s great, I feel the same about mine and she’s 3. You don’t have to be away from him to spend time with him and other people who care about you both.

Your MIL helped you out when you were struggling. Dont burn that bridge and upset her, I guarantee you'll need her again. She sounds lovely, offering to take baby so you can sleep.

Hi replys to all - My MIL hasn't said anything direct to me but I know she has to my other half. I take our son to see her once a week with me being there. When my MIL had him before she took over and started talking about him like he belonged to her so thats why it makes me uncomfortable too. Re Nursery, he will have settle in days as many as he needs so it wont be a quick drop him and go xx