9 year old can’t use knife and fork

[MontgomeryHawka]

My 9 year old still struggles to use a knife and fork. I’m not sure how to help him. I stopped helping him as I thought he’ll never learn if I keep cutting his food for him. But he’s not learning, he just gets super stressed and smashes up his food. I show him how to use the knife and fork but he uses his hands to eat.

I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing not cutting it up for him. Am I just expecting too much of him? He is autistic if that’s relevant.

Probably has fine motor skills issues.
Has he ever had an OT assessment? Might be worth it as they can identify things and recommend exercises.

He might need weighted cutlery. At 9 he definitely needs an OT assessment and some targeted help.

Posted to soon!
I’d probably keep cutting stuff up for him (I still do for my 16 yr old) if it’s something that stresses him out.

Is he dyspraxic as well? My DS is. Could you maybe try cutting up things that are tougher ie meat but encourage him to cut up easier things like boiled potatoes or carrots perhaps?

avoid things that definitely need to be cut, such as meat, or serve it in pre-cut portions.
can he mange to use a spoon to cut/divide other food, pasta pieces, veg, mash. just using a spoon alone, and angled bowls/plates.
the integrated use of knife with fork may be beyond him at the moment.
just try to find a way he can manage. to establish as much independence as possible.
good luck.

Yes my son is 9, he has dyspraxia and struggles with cutlery. You can get special cutlery although it hasn't made much of a difference for him.

I hadn’t considered dyspraxia. His gross motor skills are good, or at least broadly average (good in comparison to my other children!). His handwriting is very bad, probably a few years behind what you would expect. He’s never had an OT assessment, that’s a good idea.