DP said he doesn’t want another..

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DS, our first child, is 9 weeks old. He’s quite a calm baby but when tired screams the house down. It’s sad but I know how to tackle it now.

Last night I was exhausted so asked my fiancé (babies dad) to get him ready for bed whilst I got an hour or two sleep. He woke me up in a blind panic because DS was reaaaally tired and screaming

He admitted he’s struggling and finds it hard to know what DS wants. He then said he doesn’t want another baby he can’t cope

This broke my heart as I love being DS’ mum and the thought of not getting to do this again hurts. Especially when we’ve been saying we’d try for baby 2 when DS is about 18 months old

This morning he’s said “I haven’t said no I just need to think about it” which is upsetting. Of course I love my DP so much and our DS is so perfect we’re so lucky to have him

But the thought of never doing this again when my whole life I’ve dreamt of having multiple children upsets me. I’m only young too so it’s quite hard to think I’ll never expand my family?

Do we think this is just an emotional statement and he’ll change his mind as he goes through being a new dad and builds his confidence?

Hardly anyone wants another baby when they've got a newborn they're struggling to manage.

It's hard. I'm sure you've had moments where you have struggled too. Don't even worry about it for a good while yet. Once baby starts interacting with him I bet he'll reconsider.

I'm going to go against the grain here. A few weeks after DD was born, I was the one who said, no more. DH was obviously disappointed but I was not coping, I hated the crying, I couldn't work out what she wanted, and I hated the loss of my independence. It was a traumatic birth and I couldn't face doing it again.

My family were the same as pp here: you'll change your mind. Well, I never did. I'm glad because I would have lost my mind with 2 or 3 kids.

I gave no real advice OP but you are going to have to talk to your DP about this. If you can't accept it, you might have to have a very difficult conversation with your DP about your future.

It's sooooo early!
I always thought I wanted 4 children, but there were many times in the early days that I regretted even having 1!
Now that 1 is 13 months and we are actively planning for the second! The plan is "one more and then see how we feel" :)

Er he's still a newborn of course he doesn't want another!

Disuss it in a year or 2 and enjoy the baby you have!

Your baby is 9 weeks old fgs none of you have settled into family life yet. I have a 5 month old and won’t lie I’ve already thought about whether I could handle having another. He’s well within his rights to not want another child.

I doubt many people want to even think about another baby 9 weeks in!!! I'm sure he is just tired and fed up, you soon forget the early weeks. Have the conversation at 12 months and see how you are both feeling

I wanted to be sterilised at 9 weeks PP I hated it that much.
At 22 months PP DH and I are relatively keen for another.

It’s still very early days. Your DH may change his mind (or he may not). But now is not the time to be worrying about this. Your baby won’t be crying forever, I promise.

Chill! The guys overwhelmed just now with the screaming newborn. Don’t feel hurt. He will forget next year! Then you can try for another.

I think it's normal to feel this way in the thick of it. I found the baby stage really hard.

DD is now 3 and we began to feel it would be easier (and beneficial) for her to have someone to play with, so the pressure wasn't all on us to entertain her all the time. Challenges and perspectives change over time.

He might not change his mind but he might.

I always imagined at least two children. But in the first few weeks with my oldest I firmly believed I could never go through it again and if asked would have said that. He's struggling at the moment - I would focus on supporting him through this and leave thinking about another for a bit. I'm pretty sure he'll change his mind once he's used to parenting and getting more joy from it.

I think it can be really hard at the newborn stage- especially for dads/partners as they don't have the same mother hormone instinct thing (sorry that's a clumsy phrase hope you get what I mean).
Obviously can't guarantee he will change his mind but there is a good chance as your baby gets older and they bond.

Honestly, at 9 weeks I was still adamant I wouldn't want another! We had always planned to have 2 close together. 6 months on my mindset is starting to shift a bit. If you can, I would leave the conversation and not put pressure on it for now. Enjoy your son for the time being. You're young so there is no rush and having this conversation when you're both exhausted with a newborn to look after is probably not the best time.

You’re mad to mention a second baby when the first is only 9 weeks!! I think almost everyone would say no at that point 🤣
My baby boy is 9 weeks too & id laugh in your face at this point if you said ‘let’s go again!’ .. honestly give it time - you both need to get on a an even kneel and that takes time, for him to settle in and learn about baby and you also to get beyond the initial ecstasy of it all so you are both on a similar page. I wouldn’t take anything he says seriously at this early point & to be honest the same applies for you! It’s such a huge transition and really takes time for everyone to settle in together. Try and just enjoy this part & help your dp become more at ease. Congrats! Xx

Oh god we've both said 'never again' at multiple times and now about to start TTC our second You're in the midst of the newborn drudgery and it sounds like he's taking a bit longer to adapt than you (completely normal if he's back to work and you are doing the majority of the care).

Think no more of the comment right now and focus on supporting him to become a confident dad to DS. Go with the flow a bit, 18 months is a huge way away and DS will be a completely different walking and talking kettle of fish by then. Your DP might be completely ready by then or they might not but cross that bridge when you get to it.