Worried mum of a 2 year old

[MumofAlottie]

Hello everyone….
Well i am a bit (a lot) lost tbh, i have really bad anxiety and i keep going over things over and over which i know doesnt help but i thought I’d post here to see if there is anyone out there who’s going through the same thing with their toddlers. I apologise in advance for the bad book im about to write below:

My daughter just turned 2 and she never crawled, we did tummy time daily and she always hated it, was a bit late rolling over too (7/8months) she took her first steps at 12 months then started walking around 14 months and more confidently a couple months after that. Then one day out of the blue, she just stopped. Never even had a bad fall or any changes to our household. She was absolutely petrified of walking on her own and it took a week for her to go back to herself and even now there are certain areas of the house that she wont walk into without holding my hand (ie the bathroom?!)

I spoke with the HV and GP at the time who both ruled out a physical problem and said it was just a fear phase. Fast forward to now 5 months later (she is now 24 months) and she is walking fine and running, but extremely clingy!!

She basically refuses to walk outside (this is slowly getting better she does walk more now only if she can hold my hand, if i try to let go at any point (when safe) she shakes in fear)

Every week i take her to baby classes and she refuses to let go of my hand there too. She wants to play but i need to hold her hand while she does her thing… took her to a dance class to try something different and she wouldn’t let go of my hand for 45 min! I could see all the kids jumping, running and dancing and she was attached to me …

she was born a few weeks before lockdown, so its basically been me and her dad with her for ages. My family lives abroad and so she doesnt know that many ppl up until things started getting back to normal in recent months. She has no siblings or cousins her age, doesnt go to nursery either so i feel that plays a part to her “clingyness” … she needs time to adjust to being around people and to learn to let go of me… she’s probably a bit overwhelmed by seeing the world outside properly?

My first question Is is this common? To have a toddler that clingy that they wont let go of your hand outside? Or being afraid of certain rooms?

Second issue lol (fairplay to you if you are still reading)
Because shes been holding onto me for so long i feel like she is behind with certain milestones?

She can’t climb or jump: she actually never tried to climb anything, she doesnt know how to do it Ive tried to take her to soft play, climb slides , stairs etc but she is not going for it! The HV knows and is coming back to see her for her 2year visit.
She just seems so stiff like she struggles to let herself go , could it be low muscle tone? Or just fear? Has anyone experience of this ? Every where i seem to see kids her age or younger able to do way more physically? If she falls over its such a big deal to her and she needs help getting herself in standing position… she can get up herself but in her own way so if we’re outside and she falls she can’t get up on her own!? Makes me worry so much im trying to do exercises with her but my knowledge is limited so I’m waiting for doctors opinion, but in the meantime if there are any parents who experienced smg similar? I’d appreciate your advice

She’s a really happy lively little girl with loads of words who babbles a lot and eats and sleeps really well, she’s kind and doesnt have bad tantrums. Very affectionate and loves to play but yeah super anxious and cautious outside…

So again sorry for me rambling on but i felt like this is something i needed to ask 🤷🏼‍♀️And thank you for reading

Hi there. I have read your story as I faced some similar issues as mentioned above. I have a nearly 5 yo. She bum shuffled never crawled. She is still quite clingy in social situations but will join in things she likes to do ie I took her to a class that includes some warm ups, yoga and craft and she will only join in the craft part which I don't mind as she is a confident and now chatty girl in P1.

So back in 2020 when she started nursery after the initial lockdown her nursery teacher contacted me and asked me about her physical and social milestones. I explained she was a late walker and bum shuffler she said "There's nothing wrong with that but can she climb as she won't climb nursery playground equipment?" She asked me would my daughter benefit from an OT? We were recommended to go private as my girl has no underlying health conditions. We went to a private OT (I live in NI chances are you're probably on mainland so can't recommend her to you?) OT started by looking at all areas of her movement and turns out she had low tone in her tummy and fear of feet lifting from ground. We were advised to do soke exercises - crash mat style and turning and she came on leaps and bounds! Her initial assessment was done January 2021 during our second lockdown so loads of time to practice at home. When she returned to school 12 weeks later the teacher noticed a massive improvement and all of a sudden she was climbing and joining in with other children. She is a little behind with balancing but she is working on it so she is almost in line with her peers in terms of motor skills now.

I also want to add my daughter was born c section and was apparently quite a difficult birth. She was a breech baby which is why I had a c section. This is only my experience though everyone is different.

One of my 22 mo DTs is exactly the same re the clingyness when out and about.

Hi there. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I am actually in NI too (Down) so maybe that’s something i should look up! Where was yours based?
My daughter was also born via emergency c section after a difficult labour …
So glad to know that Your daughter is doing much better with her milestones, it gives me hope for mine too! X

Hi Rrrob
It can be challenging at times! But i took her out this morning and she actually walked without hanging off me the whole time! Its been months since she did this! Fingers crossed there’s light at the end of the tunnel 🤞🏻

@MumofAlottie I am from Co Tyrone so it's quite far away but the lady we saw was called Amanda Howard. She was based in Moira area which was about an hour drive for us but it was so well worth it. I will add I took my DD to NHS physio after her 1 year check up as my HV didn't seem concerned for her mobility at the time - 1yo not weight bearing properly and only bum shuffling. So our physio was great we were seen at 6 and 4 week intervals until she started cruising around furniture around her 2nd birthday. Our physio then went private to join her husband a sports physio but still practiced paediatric physio and pregnancy pilates etc. We did return to her once just after nursery teacher had raised some issues and mainly to see what she said and ask did she know a private OT nearby.

The OT we went to was called Amanda Howard based in Moira at Therapy for education. She was fantastic. My girl went on to reach some targets and has gained confidence. She is fitter more toned and happier overall. At the time of the initial assessment we were immediately told there was no concerns here at all or no diagnosis just a girl who needed to learn to move a bit differently. I had no idea what a child's physio could do but I am so grateful we went now. I also add I love reading about the things we learned from OT - vestibular challenges and praxis are what my DD had. So if you are on Instagram there's some great accounts namely ontrackbaby who are two paediatric OTs and totsontarget. Let us know how you get on and I'll search for the place we went to and send the link here. The website is quite dated doesn't do much justice.

I would get things checked out for peace of mind. My DD was 2 during the first lockdown and became absolutely terrified of people she didn’t know, she would cling to my legs and beg to be picked up if we saw anyone in the park etc.
So I think it might be that she’s just very nervous as she’s so used to being with just you and her Dad. I would want that confirmed by a health professional if I were you though.

therapyfoundationsforeducation.co.uk/about-us/

I have sent a link to the OT we went to she has great information on her site.

@Allinhistiming thank you so much for all your advice! This is such a great help (and a relief!) i will look up the IG accounts and I’m currently waiting on an OT/physio nearby so fingers crossed 🤞🏻

@WhatNowwwww yes i think you’re right she is nervous and i was told before it was a phase but because it went on for so long i had her checked before and will again at her next check up… she is showing signs of improvement in the last few days so hopefully it’s going in the right direction ☺️

I think hip dysplasia can be picked up quite late in mild cases? May be wrong. Definitely worth getting her checked, also if balance and getting up is tricky, may be worth considering audiology review?

Hi @DarlingDarwin that’s interesting I’ve never even thought of that ! Good point thank you I’ll look into it :)

No problem - good luck!!! 🙂

No problem at all! I'm just speaking from experience as people say all kids are different! You're as well to see a physio and OT though they have amazing knowledge and experience. 😊