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Original poster

19 month old toddler still being rocked to sleep...

24 replies

DC1stTimeMummy · 16/03/2022 20:47

Hello all,

I have a 19 month old toddler who still is rocked to sleep. He hasn't been sleep trained at all & now we feel we need to sleep him!?

My toddler can't put himself to sleep independently & isn't able to resettle when in wakes.

He either wakes in the middle of the night & it can take 2-3 hours to put him back to sleep with a lot of our support (either rocking or sleeping in the bed with him) or he wakes really early in the morning (4-5:30am).

Is this due to him not being able to self soothe? I've thought about all the factors that could affect his sleep. He naps for around 1-1.5 hours in the day time.

If any of you have sleep trained a toddler that's a similar age to mine, which method did you use that was successful?

I feel as my toddler is older he has formed these habits & it will be difficult to sleep train him now!?

OP posts:
ThatPosterIsSoRight · 16/03/2022 21:02

I did gradual withdrawal with a 19 month old. So from rocking to holding, then putting down but holding, then holding hand, then holding foot, then gradually being further out the room each night…

It worked, but I was particularly motivated. The final night, when just my feet were in the room, I stood up when he’d gone to sleep and my waters broke with DC2.

DC1 was a great sleeper after that. DC2 less so…

Mrsmch123 · 16/03/2022 21:19

I would start patting with the rocking then move to just patting with holding, then just patting while in bed. Patting can get lighter and lighter until he no longer needs you. This is what I done with my baby. He's younger at almost 9 months but I couldn't do cry it out. He took to it really well. But it does take time. Sleep training would be quicker but I couldn't do it to my little one.

NewNormalLife · 16/03/2022 21:33

we had the same situation and it was particularly bad around that age with her regularly waking for 2-3 hours in the night. it was gruelling. she was rocked until about the same age, then we sat on a rocking chair and rocked back and forth for a few weeks, then just held in the chair, then placed in the cot whilst rubbing back and singing, then just singing...thats where we are so far at 23 months which isn't too bad.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 18/03/2022 13:06

Thank you for the replies!

If your toddler woke & cried in the middle of the night, did you at any point take them out of their cot/ bed to calm them down?

I'm thinking about all the methods to sleep train & am leaning towards the Ferber method where you let them cry but go in & check them at certain time intervals. I'm not sure if taking my toddler out the cot to calm him down will make him worse?

Thank you again!

OP posts:
Mrsmch123 · 18/03/2022 13:59

I wouldn't lift him. I would go in and let him know you are there, maybe a stroke of the head. but lifting turns to rocking then your back to square one.

Moltenpink · 18/03/2022 14:02

Does he go to nursery? Mine slept fine without being rocked just by copying the others there, they all went to sleep on a mat.

Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 18/03/2022 16:42

I guess when I go in & my toddler is standing in his cot, I should lie him back down? Or would I leave him & let him lie himself down? I don't want to distress him any more than he already will be?

No my little one doesn't go to nursery, I'm guessing if he did then he would copy others & also he will know mummy isn't there to help & he has to try himself!?

OP posts:
Nevermindthefragglerocks · 18/03/2022 17:24

Does DC nap during the day? If so, is this in their cot? I found it easier to be consistent with sleep "training" in the daytime at first, if woken in the night I am utterly hopeless!
I used to settle DS for a nap in the cot and set a timer on my phone - if he woke before the time was up and he wasn't upset I would leave him alone (with a baby monitor on) sometimes he would settle back down to sleep, other times he would lie / sit in the cot happily. It taught him that the cot was a safe place and he didn't need me there all the time. This then lead to him self settling at bedtime during the night if he woke.

Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 18/03/2022 19:24

@Nevermindthefragglerocks

Does DC nap during the day? If so, is this in their cot? I found it easier to be consistent with sleep "training" in the daytime at first, if woken in the night I am utterly hopeless! I used to settle DS for a nap in the cot and set a timer on my phone - if he woke before the time was up and he wasn't upset I would leave him alone (with a baby monitor on) sometimes he would settle back down to sleep, other times he would lie / sit in the cot happily. It taught him that the cot was a safe place and he didn't need me there all the time. This then lead to him self settling at bedtime during the night if he woke.
Yes he does nap in his cot during the day time too.

I do find when he wakes himself up either day or night he starts to cry, stands up & wants to be picked up. He does struggle to put himself back to sleep if he wakes early & if it's the middle of the night he can become wide awake!?

OP posts:
Nevermindthefragglerocks · 19/03/2022 07:16

@DC1stTimeMummy
Ah, sorry it's really difficult when they cry. You're then left with the horrible choice about whether to let them cry it out 😕
In desperation we tried it a few times but it didn't work for us. DS would just cry and cry and I was totally fraught when he did.

Like pps have said, you might need to try gradual withdrawal. You could combine this with a heavier blanket or duvet to give more of a secure feeling and maybe a white noise machine? Apologies if you've already tried these things! Also, during times of sleep regression in the past I have pretty much worn DS's favourite soft toy up my jumper for a day so that it smells like me when it's in his cot at bedtime.

Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 19/03/2022 16:25

The all who have posted on this thread, do you all use white noise with your toddler?

If so, do you keep it on all night until the morning?

OP posts:
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/03/2022 16:28

I rock my 3 year old to sleep, I suspect he has adhd. It’s the only time he’s still and we cuddle

Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 19/03/2022 17:20

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I rock my 3 year old to sleep, I suspect he has adhd. It’s the only time he’s still and we cuddle
What is his sleep like during the day & night?

Does he sleep through the night?

OP posts:
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/03/2022 17:24

@DC1stTimeMummy

He’s just dropped his nap about a week after his third birthday but he always slept about 1.5 hours for a nap. He mainly sleeps through the night but he’s had covid twice, sickness bug and other illnesses recently which have all had a bad impact on his sleep, but generally he sleeps ok!

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/03/2022 17:25

We also have that sheep heart beat thing that turns itself on when it senses noise

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/03/2022 17:25

Oh actually it’s an owl- Ollie the owl

soberfabulous · 19/03/2022 17:56

@DC1stTimeMummy

The all who have posted on this thread, do you all use white noise with your toddler?

If so, do you keep it on all night until the morning?

We've used white noise with our daughter since birth, still use it now and she's 8! We have an app on an iPad that goes next to her bed and plays all night.

In answer to your other questions, our daughter woke up screaming for a long time. Once she was out of the cot we put her straight into a double bed and we took it in turns to sleep with her.

If we left her to cry she would get so hysterical that she vomited...awful.

tokyo1 · 19/03/2022 18:02

We did this too and it almost broke me. It was so hard. Strangely enough sleep improvement coincided with starting nursery and going into their own room on a floor bed. Before that we were co-sleeping and the sleep was horrendous. This was around 17mo. We use white noise but I didnt find it makes them sleep any longer. Good luck. I know it's super hard Thanks

Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 20/03/2022 19:20

@ThatPosterIsSoRight

I did gradual withdrawal with a 19 month old. So from rocking to holding, then putting down but holding, then holding hand, then holding foot, then gradually being further out the room each night…

It worked, but I was particularly motivated. The final night, when just my feet were in the room, I stood up when he’d gone to sleep and my waters broke with DC2.

DC1 was a great sleeper after that. DC2 less so…

When you did the gradual withdrawal, how long did it take for your little one to fall asleep?

How long did this whole process take until you weren't in their room?

OP posts:
Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 20/03/2022 19:21

@Mrsmch123

I would start patting with the rocking then move to just patting with holding, then just patting while in bed. Patting can get lighter and lighter until he no longer needs you. This is what I done with my baby. He's younger at almost 9 months but I couldn't do cry it out. He took to it really well. But it does take time. Sleep training would be quicker but I couldn't do it to my little one.
Same as above, when you did the gradual withdrawal, how long did it take for your little one to fall asleep?

How long did this whole process take until you weren't in their room?

OP posts:
Original poster
DC1stTimeMummy · 20/03/2022 19:22

@NewNormalLife

we had the same situation and it was particularly bad around that age with her regularly waking for 2-3 hours in the night. it was gruelling. she was rocked until about the same age, then we sat on a rocking chair and rocked back and forth for a few weeks, then just held in the chair, then placed in the cot whilst rubbing back and singing, then just singing...thats where we are so far at 23 months which isn't too bad.
How long does it take for your little one to fall asleep now?
OP posts:
Mrsmch123 · 20/03/2022 21:27

So I would say honestly about two months from rocking to being able to just put him in the cot and him going to sleep. The stopping rocking was the hardest bit. Now it takes him between 5 and 15 mins but he's not crying, sometimes he just roles around the cot or lies clapping his hands😂then decides to role over and go to sleep. We do use white noise and a dark room for naps/bedtime sleep. The white noise we turn down really low for overnight. Sleep training would probably have done it in a week but like I said I just couldn't do it to him.

Mrsmch123 · 20/03/2022 21:27

@Mrsmch123

So I would say honestly about two months from rocking to being able to just put him in the cot and him going to sleep. The stopping rocking was the hardest bit. Now it takes him between 5 and 15 mins but he's not crying, sometimes he just roles around the cot or lies clapping his hands😂then decides to role over and go to sleep. We do use white noise and a dark room for naps/bedtime sleep. The white noise we turn down really low for overnight. Sleep training would probably have done it in a week but like I said I just couldn't do it to him.
@DC1stTimeMummy
BabyBuddy · 10/12/2022 19:06

@DC1stTimeMummy how did it go for you ? I used to rock my now 22 month old but had broken the habit while on a month long holiday abroad. When we returned to the UK last month, for some reason he started refusing to sleep so I started rocking him and am stuck with it. He wakes up twice every night and wakes me up and wants me to rock him and stays awake for 2 hours. This has been going on for 4 weeks. I’m broken and feel like I broke he’s sleeping.

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