Tantrums after surgery

[FHmama]

Hi all.

Not really sure what I'm going to get out of posting this, think it's more to just get it all out

My toddler has always been very difficult - since day one in the hospital, he cried a lot - had colic, severe reflux as a small baby etc. always been hard. We got lucky as he started sleeping through the night very early on, so I've always been used to a full night sleep around 6m/o.

Of course, now he's close to 2 years old, the tantrums have started.

However, he had an amputation surgery a few weeks ago. He is still in a leg cast which isn't off for another three weeks. The good news is he is in perfect health, not in any pain, just frustrated with the cast more than anything. It's been very emotionally draining.

Since the surgery, he will not sleep. He is up multiple times a night, wakes up at 4:30am, just will not settle. He isn't in pain, he just wants comfort from me. Even if I put him in my bed, he wakes up multiple times panicking and feeling my face with his hand to make sure I am still there 🥺.

And the tantrums/meltdowns have been horrendous. He's impatient at the best of times, but all it takes is for his cast to be in his way of a toy or crawling and he goes crazy. Screaming, sobbing, hitting and biting me, throwing things - he's just so angry.

I'm still a student so trying to complete my assignments and even when he's in childcare I just feel so exhausted I end up sleeping most the day, I feel so down.

I'm not moaning about him at all - I completely and utterly understand the trauma he has been through and I am so loving and patient with him, I try and do everything right but seems like nothing I do is helping and I just feel like a complete failure right now.

Again, not really sure what advice I'm really asking for but I just felt like I needed to let off a bit of steam, it's been a horrendous day

I wouldn’t be so sure that is isn’t in pain, I’ve been in pain for weeks after surgery before even on pain relief.
It’s totally normal for him to be clingy and need you to sleep after such a traumatic surgery.
Of course he’s going to get frustrated with the cast, he doesn’t understand what has happened.
It’s probably going to be another rough few weeks for you, I don’t say that to make you feel bad just to make you set your expectations.
Let everything else slide at the minute, do easy food, some extra tv, do the bare minimum cleaning and try to just ride out the next little while.
Go to bed early with him a few nights a week to catch up and hopefully a bit more rest will take the edge off the toddler behaviour.
It sounds tough!

Oh I definitely know it will still continue to be rough, just feels good to get it off my chest. If all heals well the cast should be off this time in three weeks and it will be an absolute relief for him (and for me)

I agree you need to adjust your expectations.
It may have been a planned surgery but for him it's a trauma. He's missing part of himself and doesn't understand.
Don't pin everything on the cats coming off.

Give him as much attention as you can. What other support do you have? Get others in the love bombing to give yourself a break